I am conflicted and Confused. I don't consider myself to be a SM to understand the situation there needs to be some back story. When my DH was 23 he did a favor for a gay couple  friends of his who wanted to have a child. There's nothing much I can say about that what's done is done and I was not with him at the time we met when we were 32. So at the beginning of our relationship he told me he had two children one was a son whose mother didn't allow him to see him and the other was a daughter who was done as a favor for a couple of friends of his so a year into our relationship now I'm about 4 months pregnant and we run into one of the friends who was one of the parent of the daughter she turns around oh your BM wants to talk to you she's been trying to find you your daughter wants to know who you are and she wants to have a relationship with you he turned around and was like what do you mean she wants to know who I am I thought you were supposed to be the dad well yeah it didn't work out between me and the BM and now she's straight and has three other kids so we sat down and talked about it and came to the conclusion. Okay cool you fathered her she is your seed she wants to know who you are and where she comes from that's fine we both lost our fathers at 9 so I know what it's like to grow up without a father she's already 9 going on 10 she's not a baby she supposedly knows the situation of how she came to be so we decided to go ahead and try and have a relationship with this child at that time she proceeded to act like she didn't want to be around him every time she saw him she would tell him how she didn't want to be around him how she didn't like him and that all she wanted was her mother I understand she's only 10 + kids can be mean but her 10th birthday party was the last straw for him because he paid for it took her to an amusement park with her brothers and sisters and friends paid for everything mind you this was only two and a half months after meeting her and wanting to have this relationship at the party she was all daddy I'm having such a good time Oh Daddy this is so much fun thank you. But as soon as we left the amusement park it was I want to stay home when you drop my brothers and sisters off cuz I don't want to go home with you I don't like spending the night at your house that made DH feel all kinds of emotions he was upset he was sad hurt saying why does she want to be with me if she doesn't really want to be with me they had one more encounter after that same thing nothing but attitude telling him he she didn't even want to be around him so he told her fine go with your mother don't come back that's when he decided he wanted to move out of state so we did I agreed as a couple the city we lived in wasn't the best and we were having a daughter of our own and we did not want to raise her there fast forward five years we moved back to the shitholes city due to my medical issues and wanting to be around family she contacts me to see if she can get his number and for whatever reason she thinks we're no longer together but that's something else and I tell her sure that's your father I would never keep him from you if you want his phone number I'll give it to you.  now mind you she's 15 years old and again I know what it's like to grow up without a father and she's telling me on how she's so much mature now so I agree.  they start texting and talking and she's like oh my mom wants to talk to you come by the house she gives him the address he goes over there and  her whole family is there to Ambush him because supposedly when he left 5 years ago after that the girl got really sick with an intestinal disease and just bashing him and making him feel bad making him feel like this is all his fault that she's going through all these problems and unbeknownst to me they tell him that she wants to have a relationship with you but she's not allowed anywhere near your wife him wanting to be nice and feeling ambushed said nothing and just let them say whatever they wanted and kind of agreed to it all now that pissed me off because he never told me that I was not allowed to be around this little girl when he came home that day. two weeks go by and she's already asking for money for homecoming and I need you to pick me up from school and I need money for cheerleading. she needed a ride home from the doctor he couldn't so I offered that if she really needed a ride I didn't mind picking her up then the BM Texas him and I read the text talking about didn't we already have this conversation when we sat down at the table that she is not allowed around my daughter she was not there when we made her right there I confronted him what does she mean I'm not allowed around her daughter me and you are married and if she wants to be in your life then she has to be in my life because you're not going to abandon our daughter who you barely spend time with now as it is because you're a workaholic and are constantly working I refuse to take the back seat to no one especially a child that was never supposed to be involved in his life and still has both the mother and the lesbian lover who was supposed to adopt her when she was a child but never did so am I wrong for wanting him to not have a relationship with her because it seems to me all she wants is his money and on top of that the BM has the nerve to tell him that we all have to make sacrifices in life it's either a relationship with his daughter or me and his five-year-old daughter who he's been with her whole life