Texting after bedtime
So my bs11 started middle school this year.....loves It! He is struggling with the early start as he is a kid that needs his sleep. He goes to bed at 8:30 and is up at 6:30 to leave for the bus stop at 7:10, I leave for work at 7:00.
My ex husband keeps texting him up until 10pm at night and also at like 6:45 in the morning. We have a high conflict relationship so I really limit my interaction when possible. I could not figure out what the heck bs was doing when he was supposed to be getting dressed... it does not take 30 minutes to put on shorts a t shirt and soc is till I checked his phone.
His dad is texting him about MLB baseball games that he and SM are going to and stuff like that. Things he could discuss on their twice a week calls or text about not after bed time and in the morning .
If it keeps up I am going to need to say something or make bs keep the phone downstairs. He doesn't text his friends during these times but will because this is his dad...
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He doesn't need the phone at
He doesn't need the phone at night. Electronics in the bedroom have been proved to be bad for sleep. If he needs the phone during the day, he gets it once he's ready for school and he gives it back at least half an hour before bedtime. He'll have plenty of time to read his dad's texts with that.
The only reason it is in his
The only reason it is in his room is that he listens to music when falling to sleep. I am going to have to do what you are suggesting.
I would expect this from kids...not the other parent.
Usually this sort of thing happens
on NCP's time with the CP constantly calling and texting at odd hours. I would definitely put the kibosh on electronics in the bedroom. There is something called a radio that we used to use if you need music to fall asleep to. Or an MP3 player. Old clock radios can be had for a song (pun intended) at the thrift stores.
I am custodial, I was sm
I am custodial, I was sm before and then divorced the loon, now I am just a bm but I have belonged here for 11 years.
He does have a radio and that is what he will need to use.
You have to speak up. It is
You have to speak up. It is interfering with DS's schedule. That's not ok.
Really doesn't matter if it's Dad doing it or a school friend. It's happening at inappropriate times.
There should be no reason DS can not freely tell his Dad, 'Hey, Dad, I need my beauty sleep for school in the morning, 8pm is the last time that I can receive/answer a text. I turn my phone off after that. Oh, and I need to get ready early mornings, but after school text would be good'.
If kiddo doesn't feel he can take care of it himself without upsetting his father, than you will have to just play mean momma. Take the phone when DS goes upstairs for bed. Give kiddo back the phone when you leave for work in morning.
Yes, it's Dad right now, but if won't be very many more years (13-ish?) where the crazy must text my buddies starts. You're the Mom, you set the rules. Remember the basics. No phone during dinner time, no texting after x time, no texting before x time, and remind Ds you can and will look at his phone whenever you please.
Oh I do look at the phone on
Oh I do look at the phone on a regular basis. The crazy buddy texts are happening now...lol BUT all of those end before bed time because they all have the same schedule. The kids are not texting late on school nights.
Bs would never tell his dad not to text then. Either I have to or I need to change the phone rules.
I could care less that ex texts when he is with me but mornings are really tough here.
My son has an iphone and
My son has an iphone and schedules his do not disturb times. He has it set for 9 pm and then back on at 7am, then off again at 8 when school start and back on again at 3 when school is over. This is Mon-Friday.
Can your son's phone do that?
I put my phone on "Do Not
I put my phone on "Do Not Disturb" between 10 and 6. I might see a text if I look at the phone, but I don't get any notifications, nor does the phone ring. I also listen to music/podcasts as I go to sleep, so I have my phone in the bedroom, but there have been many times I've woken to missed calls and texts that I was blissfully unaware of. You might see if that works. If not, I'd get him a radio to listen to music and keep the phone charging elsewhere.
I think the best option is to
I think the best option is to have the phone left in a central location. you can get an MP3 player.. or a clock radio etc.. for him to listen to music as he goes to sleep. While it's just his dad now... it will also become his friends over time.
At 11, I would cut this habit
At 11, I would cut this habit sooner than later. I dealt with this with SD18 as I was one home with the kids in the mornings as they got ready for school. SD would consistently run behind because GMA would be calling or texting her in the mornings. It would totally piss me off because if we left late, school traffic then became a nightmare, which in turn made ME late for work!!!
We also realized SD was staying up ALL HOURS on her phone. Sometimes until 4AM on a school night. The phone then had to be left in the kitchen after 9PM and we bought an alarm clock for her to use in her room.
I personally use Do Not
I personally use Do Not Disturb for myself! It's great. I have it set so that if a family member texts/calls I can hear it but everyone that can wait, will wait. Or take his phone - as others have said there are various other devices for listening to music.
And in about 3, 2, 1....his late phone habits will not be limited to his dad.
I also use the "do not disturb" feature when
I am not on call for work
Take the phone. Let dad take
Take the phone. Let dad take you back to court. A Judge will NOT blink an eye at you when sons bed time, lights out is 830.
Kids this age need lots of sleep SweetT...Middle school was 8-830p too at our home they had to get up sooooooooooo darn early.
YOUR home, your rules.