Venting again
So I'm the one who was getting married to the guy with the daughter he hasn't had much contact with in about 7 years, kid and ex wife are back in the picture now that he lives in the same city.
I told him I wanted to postpone the wedding because I felt uncomfortable with the new direction his life is taking. Then I just ended the entire relationship altogether.
Anyway- he's been trying to convince me that it's not a big deal, I'll always come first, I don't have to be involved in the kids life and he'll visit her on his own time ( she's 12) and please stay with him.
Anyway, I'm supposed to go and visit in September so we can talk ( we are in different countries)
He told me today that he is allowed to see his daughter- but that the ex wife would only agree to it if she could come as well.
So, he's out with his ex and their kid today- he said that he tried to visit alone, but the ex wife insisted.
Anyway- I lost it and went hateful psycho ( as usual) lol
I was spouting hate like " I hope you enjoy your day with mommy, daddy, and precious baby- have fun with your real effing family. This is gross and abnormal; I'm sitting up here in another country while you play house with your wife (ex) and kid- makes me sick". whoopsie...... I seriously tried so hard to be not be crazy all day and I failed.
Im not really asking for advice and I'm probably really annoying coming back here posting all the time with my relationship drama that clearly has two obvious paths- end it or accept it.
Im finding it impossible to do either at the moment so I guess I'm sitting in my vitriol and hate lol
You know
If he is going out with EX and his DD. He’s not ready for a relationship with you. You will never come first or second. How can he tell you, you will be first then go out with EX. This is his good behavior?? Trying to get you back?? Think, Think andThink
I'm trying to think through
I'm trying to think through my rage lol
It's not easy- I should go for a jog when it cools down
Cut ties with him and move on
Cut ties with him and move on.
Going psycho might have
Going psycho might have burned that bridge with him. Well done I say! Look, you know deep down this is not the relationship for you. Instead of saying so straight out, you played along and then BAM, he drops this on you. I would have went crazy on him too.
Cut off all contact with him. If you are feeling this bad over one phone call, imagine how crazy he would make with daily doses of this crazy making behavior of his.
It is tough but I've been
It is tough but I've been here and you will do it. I was once so obsessed with a break-up that I had to book a rock-climbing lesson because I thought it would make me so nervous I wouldn't be thinking about anything- and it worked. I went and climbed that rock and was soooo proud of myself. You know this relationship isn't for you- take your anger and frustration out elsewhere. I think you said you were a creative person in a previous post? Channel that anger into your art and use it for your benefit. Stop wasting your energy on useless and unworthy people.
That's really good advice
That's really good advice thanks xo
The psycho comes out in all
The psycho comes out in all of us sometimes... Particularly when it comes to things like this... My Dh tried to tell me that Bm would be coming over to just chill with him and SD9 because his mom had decided SD9 was depressed and bullied BM to come over (FYI, SD( had swimmers ear, which MIL would know if she listened to me when I told her I was starting her on Swimmer's ear treatments...) near the beginning. I went forking ballistic. Because NO. I won. BM got to chill in the yard, SD9 absolutely did not want to go outside and then BM left after 10 minutes becuase it was "boring" (SD5 went out with her and I guess wasnt' entertaining enough, lol)
Its not appropriate for your DH/SO to be playing house with his ex. If he's not ready to "give that up" he's not ready for another relationship.