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I can’t stand my step daughter

DrivingShelbyMad's picture

Submitted by DrivingShelbyMad on Sun, 07/29/2018 - 1:19am

I have a 5 year old daughter, special needs, whom I care for. She’s very seeet, quiet, to herself little girl. 

My boyfriend who moved in with me has a needy, whiny, immature 9 year old daughter. Ironically he’s complained of these traits about her to me, but will get upset if I mention it too. 

 

She’s incredibly rude to my daughter, who never has said anything rude to her and just minds her own self. Her dad will defend his daughter when his daughter bullies mine. His daughter acts like she knows everything and has absolutely no friends at school because kids can’t stand her. During her softball practice I seem the coach scold her for hitting another girl and of course my boyfriend defended her. 

 

She throws fits fits over everything, especially taking showers and brushing her teeth. My daughter has a weak immune system and she’ll walk around coughing and sneezing on everything and crying when I tell her to go shower. 

 

My boyfriend and I only fight about her, and we’ve broken up a few times over her. 

 

We are now pregnant so were were trying to make this work but is daughter nauseats me. Literally she smells so bad i gag. 

 

I dont know what what to do, I don’t want to bond with her. 

Comments

MoominMama's picture

Submitted by MoominMama on Sun, 07/29/2018 - 4:59am

Sorry to say this but i dont think this will work out and for the sake of your daughter you should move on. 

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Sun, 07/29/2018 - 7:54am

Kick him and his feral brat out now. The stress on you while pregnant is not heathly. And. Of course you must protect your daughter from his daughter's bullying... home is supposed to be a child's safe place. Your daughter does not have a safe place at home. Correct that ASAP.

Areyou's picture

Submitted by Areyou on Sun, 07/29/2018 - 8:06am

I agree. Ask them to leave. It won’t get better. You need to show DH that you won’t put up with his daughter’s bullsh*t. No more fighting about her. Disengage from her completely where nothing she does will ever trigger neither a good nor  a negative emotion from you. You tell SD yourself what she can and can’t do in your house.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Sun, 07/29/2018 - 8:26am

Your BF and his daughter need to move back out. Not sure why you would have moved them in, in the first place.

It's too bad one of the breakups didn't stick.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Sun, 07/29/2018 - 9:51am

His daughter BULLIES your daughter and you are allowing this because you let them stay. I can only imagine that this will escalate with a new baby. Please protect your daughter and unborn child and kick out the feral 9yo and her worthless father. 

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Sun, 07/29/2018 - 11:11am

Boyfriend MUST move on and out. From what you have written, he is a Disney dad who NEVER disciplines his feral daughter, and her behavior will get worse. He allows her to bully your child, and this will escalate as well. He KNOWS his kid is a brat, but turns on you when you agree, or mention anything. AND you are pregnant with his child. He is not a good parent. Good parents create and enforce boundaries with their children. He will not change his parenting style. Or worse, he will treat the Feral Eldest as a queen, you will be second always, and your children, especially the together child will always be second class citizens or lower, held to higher standards, with stricter punishments.

Please take our advice. Plus - so why do you stay? Is it financial? Get those ducks in a row and protect your child and unborn child. And yourself. If you are young enough to have children, imagine 5, 10, 20 years of this or worse in your future...

DrivingShelbyMad's picture

Submitted by DrivingShelbyMad on Sun, 07/29/2018 - 1:11pm

Trust me, I want to sooo bad. I had my daughter at 23 weeks for unknown reasons so when we decided to have our son, I had to quit my job when I became pregnant.

i think me working is why our relationship worked so well. My daughters fsther co parents with me so he’s never been forced to play daddy nor have I wanted him to because my daughters father is a good dad to our child. 

 

Im high risk, with weekly appointments with my high risk specialist, who is now making me see a cardiologist, lung specialist and immune specialist (I have lupus)

 

unfortantly for the safety of our son, I have no choice but to suck it up and deal with this crap for 6 months but I’m seriously considering going straight back to work the moment the baby comes and becoming a single mom again. It’s better than this crap. 

DrivingShelbyMad's picture

Submitted by DrivingShelbyMad on Sun, 07/29/2018 - 1:23pm

I would like to also point out that I only have to see her on the weekends so only 25 more weekends to go yippee.