BM IS A MOTHER F*ING B
I was talking to FIL last night about SS11 refusing to see us this weekend and he mentioned that SS had been in contact with FIL's GF via FB messenger. When his phone broke about two months ago he told me he had deactivated his account but apparently they gave him a tablet and he's been reaching out that way. I figured I would send him a message and try to talk to him. Well, when I went in I couldn't find him on my friend's list, so I went into an old message he had sent and I got an error message saying I was no longer able to respond to that conversation because he blocked me. It was such a shock and I felt so hurt, like he isn't just mad at us and didn't want to talk to or see us this weekend, he is literally doing everything he can to actively stop us from talking to him. When I told DH about it he said it must have been BM because SS doesn't know how to block people, but it's not that hard to figure out so I don't know.
I was talking to a friend about it earlier and she suggested I make a new account and try to message him that way, if he blocks me again obviously it was him and if not then maybe it was BM. I figured I would give it a shot, I have nothing to lose. I'm just still in shock that he went so far as to block me, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.
EDITED:
OMG I AM SO BEYOND LIVID I CANNOT EVEN. FIL just called me and said that BM reached out to his GF and said "don't tell FIL" that the reason SS didn't want to see is this weekend is because DH hasn't paid BM and that until DH pays her what he owes her, SS is not going to see or talk to him. WHAT THE F? BM and her lawyer managed to pull some numbers out of their ass for an INSANE amount of supposed "back pay" in CS on top of the increment they are requesting but apparently she is doing her best to talk to SS and tell him that he should see his dad but SS is just so upset over the whole thing and how BM is being taken advantage of and so he has made the decision to not speak to us until we pay up. WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK?!?!?
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PLEASE tell me that he doesn
PLEASE tell me that he doesn't just give her $ and that you have a court order and you pay through the state????
They do have a court order
They do have a court order and he has been paying her exactly what the CO says, through the state. We have given her extra money in the past, when she says she needs extra for school supplies or things like that but it's not an every month thing. We have receipts for ALL of the CS payments he has made since the CO was signed in 2011. Our lawyer thinks that the amount she is asking for is to scare us, and that once we get in there she/her lawyer will agree to waive the backpay if we agree to the increase. Obviously, we are going to reject BOTH the backpay and increase. Given that DH is making less at his new job, DH's lawyer said we can even request a decrease in CS but we don't really want to go that route because it will be an even bigger mess.
Thank goodness!!! I get so
Thank goodness!!! I get so worried with posts sometimes! Glad you guys have it covered!
DH was forever saying I was
DH was forever saying I was "exaggerating" because I've been keeping CS receipts, medical bills, etc but now he's like, "Where's this? Where's that?" LOL
I guess it pays to have a wife who is always preparing for worst case scenarios!
well I don't know the particulars of your child support increase
case but I can say North Korea asked for an increase last September and she too thought she was going to get this huge about of retro back increased support.
Not only did she lose, but her child support was cut in half! In HALF!!!! From $1000 to $530. And because child support is taken out every two weeks payroll deducted and there are 26 pay periods they adjust for that and so she actually gets $480. $240 every two weeks.
And he got credit (and they said from September when she filed in court) but when the paper work came, he only got credit through December.
Anyway, sometimes they lose. And sometimes they lose big
This is what our lawyer
This is what our lawyer thinks will most likely happen. Given DH's current salary, she should be getting $400 less a month so I guess we will see how things pan out, but if they do decrease CS we're gonna be suffering for a while.
DONT GET IT
This Kid been treating you like shit for 8 years. DO YOU really think anything is going to change ? He runs the home, not you. You let him do it. So either put him in place like no phone, no WiFi no nothing .or give up
I think you're confusing me
I think you're confusing me with someone else. DH and I don't live near SS, he hasn't spent more than a month in my home in the last three years, much less "run" it as you suggest. As for treating me like shit for the last 8 years, also no. Definitely had a ton of problems with BM, but other than annoying kid stuff we haven't had too many problems with SS.
Make sure you
document, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT her PAS attempts via withholding visitation!!!
Yes, get screen shots of all
Yes, get screen shots of all the messaging between BM and FIL. And maybe get FIL to try to get BM to make more imcrimminating statements like that.
Yep. Judges don't like it
Yep. Judges don't like it when parents talk about CS with their kids. They also really hate it when they withhold the child because of CS that hasn't even been ordered yet.
YES! I asked FIL try to to
YES! I asked FIL try to talk via text or whatsapp so we can have a record of it. DH and I have NEVER talked to SS about CS because honestly it's not really his business, but I know that BM has been telling him for years that DH doesn't give her enough money and that her husband is the one supporting them. We have all the receipts for CS payments plus medical and school stuff but we don't want to show it to SS unless we have to. If she keeps this up we're thinking we may have to show him to prove her wrong, but I would really rather leave him out of it. I'm hoping the judge will scare her into not saying things to SS anymore and we can forget about it. What are the chances of that happening though?
Next...stop giving her money. Courts dont care and only see it as gift. HOLY MOLY I know it is scary and I hope to God your lawyer told you to stop handing out cash to mom. IF kid needs stuff, ask him to screen shot and send pics to you. A B and C
Buy the items and have them shipped TO him. But really cs is dads 1/2 for expenses. WHY cant mom pay her 1/2. See what I mean. What the hell is she using the kids support for.
"Son I know you want the Jordens for the first day of school. They ARE cool. I give your mom 400 a month for you. She can use my money to buy you the sneakers IF she will allow you to get them."
Just an option to think about.
GoodLuck
I did talk to DH about not
I did talk to DH about not giving her money for back to school stuff this year, but I guess we'll see about that. Problem is, FIL is so "we have to do it for SS" that he would probably give her the money. Last year SS went to him crying about how BM said she wasn't going to buy him a new backpack and all his friends had whatever the new trendy backpack was and he was going to be the only one without it and so FIL bought it. Mind you, DH had already bought the uniform and shoes so all she bought was a couple of notebooks and pencils.