Bat s**** crazy BM strikes again!!
BM is starting her bat **** crazy antics again. Last night around 9:30 pm OSS texts DH and tells him that BM will drop off them at our house next Friday night because she is taking them to the waterpark that day. DH told SS that he will meet BM somewhere to pick them up. SS said that BM wants to drop us off at your house and what is the problem. I am thinking REALLY BM! Then I get the blame for it of course because I am the one that doesn't want BM at our house so SS says. DH told SS that he doesn't want BM at our house at all and that she shouldn't be putting him in the middle of things. DH didn't text BM but he said that he is going to send her a text stating that he will meet her somewhere neutral next friday to pick up the kids. This sounds like a trap just to attention to me. I just laughed and walked off when SS said that I didn't BM coming over our house. Who does this crap?
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Our BM also did this crap.
Our BM also did this crap. Put the kid in the middle, messages through the kid etc.
I would suggest to your DH next time he gets told BM is dropping kid off at yours to tell them you wont be home but he will meet her at xyz to get kid. And do that every time. Hopefully she will get the message and stop bothering.
BM is trying to communicate
BM is trying to communicate with DH through the skids because my DH ignores her phone calls and text messages unless it's an emergency. But she is also telling the skids that it's my fault that she cannot come over our house.
I would have no problem with
I would have no problem with BM whining about how mean I might be due solely to banning her from my home. You have a long list of reasons for not wanting BM at your door. McDonald lunch delivery, wanting to come make their beds blah blah.
If the woman would behave herself, drop kids in parking lot/curb (they are not babies) and stay in her vehicle, dropping off probably wouldn't be a problem. But nope, BM can't just do that. So yes, your home is off limits to her.
She's like a child who is naughty and needs a consequence. Well, not being welcomed to drop off the kids at your home is her consequence.
Who cares if she blames you? I'm sure you have better things to worry about than what BM thinks of you.
Have Dad remind his ex that children are not to be used as messengers, especially when it comes to changes of schedules and/or child exchange routines. Dh can flat out remind her why she is banned or he can just politely lie and tell her he wont be home at x time. He was already going to be out and about and swing by at designated hour and get boys on his way back home. He will now meet her at x place at x time or at her door, whichever suits her best.
Yes exactly. I am staying
Yes exactly. I am staying out of it though.
Ain't that tough for BM ?
Ain't that tough for BM ? Who cares? She made the situation that way. What is in the CO for drop offs and pick ups?
DH is supposed to do all of
Per the CO DH is supposed to do all of the driving and for some reason she is being nice wanting to drop the skids off at our place. What is strange is DH is willng to meet halfway which would exactly be less driving than BM dropping off the skids to our house. She is up to something. Several times BM has made a made a big deal and made DH drive out of his way to pick up the skids.
Talk to your local PD. I'm
Talk to your local PD. I'm pretty sure you can send her a certified letter stating that if she is on your property, she may not get out of her car. CC the PD on the letter, and prosecute her for trespassing if she violates it. You can also specify she's only allowed for scheduled exchanges. You can find a sample of a Trespass Warning Letter online, and modify it to your liking. Then it will be more convenient for her to drop them at home.
We've called the cops on BM a few times. She's afraid of us now.
She only wants to do it
She only wants to do it because she knows you don't want her there. She is hoping to wear your DH down via the kids. Stay strong, tell him to stay strong and tell the kids they should just tell their mom to give it a rest because it is NOT happening and she's wasting everyone's time.
My Bm tried a few times to
My Bm tried a few times to get SD dropped off here. Nope, DH did all the driving. If BM did drop SD by surprise to pick something up, I made DH handle it. There is no need for a HCBM to be in your driveway, none. If she doens't like , tough. If she's trying to blame it all on you, so be it. You can also add that if BM was nice a reasonable, you wouldn't have the boundary in place. Teaching the skids that bad behavior has consequences is a life lesson that prepares them for adulthood. Whether they have the bad behavior or someone else does.
Keeping BM away is key to keeping your home safe and sanctuary.
My thoughts are that she may
My thoughts are that she may prefer to just drop them off for a number of reasons.
1. Maybe she worries your DH wouldn't be on time to the meeting place and dropping them at home would mean that she wasn't stuck waiting for him.
2. She may not know 100% what time they will be done so figures it would be easier to just drop them off instead dealing with trying to contact your DH to coordinate the exact time later.
Look, your DH is setting up these issues becoming bigger than they need to be and getting the kids involved because he is refusing to participate in even the most basic communications from her. There is no reason why he can't text her back about something like this. No... it's not an emergency but good gracious why be so passive aggressively an ahole with her. I know she is difficult. I know your DH hears a lot of ish from her. But, perhaps if he started acting like an adult things might be better for everyone.
She doesn't have to come IN the house. She obviously knows where you live so it's not like you are hiding anything from her. Dropping them at the curb if you guys are home to recieve them.. that is not a hill to die on.
And she is doing this because it is probably easier for her to do this for one of the two reasons I listed above... she uses her kids to communicate because your DH has refused to communicate with her and that forces the kids into the middle.
I guess I don't really see
I guess I don't really see the big deal with BM dropping them off? The kids are old enough to be dropped off curbside, without an escort to the door or someone standing at the door to receive them.
Its a power play from a HCBM.
Its a power play from a HCBM.. they need and get different rules to play by.