Sick stepkids sent to our house!
There should be a rule against this! (I know, that is not realistic, but I wish.) My stepson is the sickest kid I have ever seen. He is a disease magnet! If someone has a cold or any sickness within ten kilometers of him, he will get it, and of course we have 50/50 custody, so he always brings it to our house. I wish we could make his mother keep him home when he is sick! I am so tired of this kid coughing, sneezing, vomiting, all over my house. I buy Lysol by the case and it is never enough. He came over again this weekend for one week, sick again, coughing over everything.
I told my husband to keep his son out of our room and off of my things. He told me stop being a bitch. I expect I will come home and that kid will be asleep in my bed! (This has happened before. Sick disgusting kid on my pillows.) I go on an important trip for work later this week and I just don't want the kid's gross germs. I don't ask much.
I wish I could tell that woman to keep her sick brat home!
I feel you! BM sends Skid to
I feel you! BM sends Skid to our house sick, too. It mostly makes me angry because SO and I both work full-time, but BM stays home. Also, we only have Skid one day a week, so we don't keep kids' cold medicine or anything like that at our house. In my opinion, BM can deal with the germs since she has no where to be anyway.
That is exactly the issue. My
That is exactly the issue. My husband works part time. His ex is unemployed. I work full time. Why can't he just stay home? It's not as if she misses something for that.
Sickness is part of having
Sickness is part of having kids. Unless the kid is too ill to move between houses (e.g. super high fever, constant vomiting), Dad has just as much responsibility to keep and treat his sick kid as Mom does.
Your problem isn't with the kid. It's with your DH for not respecting your boundaries around the sick kid. DH needs to keep his son in his own bed away from everyone else, not parading him through the house where he can infect everyone amd everything. Sleeping in your bed, even being in your room, is a big fat NO, NOT OKAY, NOPE! Your DH needs to vacate the kid, and if he won't, I'd put a lock on the door and keep the only key (or move into my own room and let DH and SS share).
Have eithet parent taken this kid to the doctor to see why he is always sick? My YSS has severe sinus and allergy issues, to the point that he has had his tonsils and adenoids removed as well as having his sinuses Roto-Rootered. He's also on 2-3 daily allergy meds. He is ALWAYS sniffling, sneezing, coughing, etc. He's not contagious sick and generally feels fine, but he spunds awful. Is it possible your SS is the same?
I know some kids are just always sick, but if it is really that bad, Mom and Dad need to be figuring out why.
Has he been taken to in to am
Has he been taken to in to am immunologist to find out why he is always sick? My son actually had to go in when he was a toddler and we found out that he had no antibodies and basically none of the immunizations he had been given as a baby even registered in his system. He wound up having to get a shot called the Pneumovax23 and after that he stopped getting sick all the time!
If you have 50/50 custody, I
If you have 50/50 custody, I'm not sure how you avoid having him at your house when he's sick. Your husband is just as responsible for him as the BM, so why would she keep him on your husband's parenting days just because he's sick?
As for him getting germs in your bed, your husband needs to keep him out of your room! That is not too much to ask.
Ugh, I understand completely!
Ugh, I understand completely! I have a terrible immune-system, I get ill very easily. I had the flu and bronchitis for over a month this past winter. Well, as soon as I got over my illness, BM did a surprise drop-off....come to find out, SS had the FLU and PNEUMONIA and was puking and coughing up a lung constantly. He couldn't eat, and all he did was lay around the house because walking made him sick to his stomach. You could tell SS was absolutely miserable. Luckily, I did not catch it, but my SO and his mother did. The BM just frustrates me. She didn't give us any warning that she was bringing him by and on top of that, she brought him over knowing that he should've stayed home. OH, and she didn't even bring his medicine along and got mad at us when we asked her for it! Then we found out that she didn't have anything to do, so there really wasn't a need to drop him off. So poor little guy was bounced back and forth for no reason.
I understand SO is the child's father and though SS's parents aren't together, that doesn't exempt SO from watching him when he is ill with a cold or something less serious...but when a child is as ill as SS was, he shouldn't be transported back and forth (especially when BM didn't have anything to do) and possibly infecting other's.
I do not realistically think
I do not realistically think that she would keep him those days. I hate 50/50 custody (he did not have it when we got together, or even when we moved in together) and this is just one of the many ways. I deal with my own kids differently when they get sick, which is rare. They stay mostly in their own rooms, and illnesses will not spread much. I admit I am a little squeamish about germs. My husband is the opposite way. His kid gets sick and he invites him into our bed to watch cartoons on our TV and eat junk food on my pillow. To him, that is what you do. Of course, I do not agree. This is one ongoing issue.
The situation in general is complicated. (I will just say, it is hard to get someone to leave when they live in your home and would like to stay there, and legal means must be followed well. I do not wish to comment further on what I am doing with that now.)
I do not know if the kid has something medically wrong with him. He has some kind of healthcare that is only for poor people (his mother is unemployed, and she signed up for it) and the doctor he goes to seems bad, nothing like the one my kids go to. I will not put him on my health insurance through work until he is made to respect me and my home, and I do not think this will happen, so he will have to continue where he is. Personally, I think he has nothing wrong with him except being allowed to eat junk food and nothing else. His mom is also rather sickly, so maybe it could be genetic. I do not know. He is just nasty and I want him to go home. We all have felt that way at times I think.
Your DH is a father and that
Your DH is a father and that means he is just as responsible for his kid as BM is. Your DH doesnt just get to shirk his parental responsibilities because the kid is sick. I think it is unreasonable to expect BM to always deal with the kid when he is sick. To me, your DH was right that you were being bi***y. He shouldn't have called you names and he should keep his kid out of your bedroom. He was wrong for that. But expecting him not to care for his sick kid is wrong and selfish on your part. Having kids means dealing with germs and illness. If you don't want to deal with it, then you need to find another DH or disengage.
BM has done this to me
BM has done this to me countless times. Sinus infections. Ear infections. The flu. But the worst one??? SCABIES. It was only the YSS, not the OSS. Younger one got it because he’s 10 and still sleeps in her bed. She is on tinder and had to have hooked up with a random, didn’t change her sheets, and then my SS got it from sleeping in her bed (scabies is considered an STD because you have to have prolonged skin to skin contact to get it). So then I needed to treat the entire house for scabies, which is worse than lice. Which I’ve had to do about 10 times because she used to bring them over with that. all. the. time.
No sick kids eating food and
No sick kids eating food and watching cartoons in your bed! That should be a hard and fast rule. If DH wants to snuggle with skid it should be done in skids room and they can watch cartoons on a laptop or in the living room.
Hopefully you're making him pay for calling you a b*tch. What a jerk!