I think im just really nervous and dreading sd being here fir a full month
Sd is coming friday for a full month. I always dread it. I always try to project positivity and kindness towards her, in hopes that she'll catch on that we aren't against her, and that we actually want to see her succeed. No matter how many times she tries to burn bridges between us (metaphorically), her father and I are there for her. That bridge does seem weaker and weaker over time for me, I'm only human. I can only take so much.
It's not how much she lies, manipulates, how much she whines, cries, or argues with me. It's how mean she is to my kids. They've grown quite the thick skin, but still, even they can only take so much. She looks for ways to rub it in their face how much more she has than them. If they make a statement, she'll challenge it. They could comment how beautiful the blue sky is. "I've seen bluer", they could say wow look at that fat orange cat, it looks like Garfield, "I've seen oranger, fatter cats". She waits until one of them messes up and she draws all attention to them. She comments on everything they do, point out all the flaws she can find. Anything she can't find flaws in she'll comment on how much better she did than them one time, which is impossible because she has not one talented home in her body, she can't draw, she can't sing, she can't dance, heck, she can't even walk without tripping over her own feet. She's not athletic, she can't even swim, or ride a bike.
I can list a million different ways, but in the end, she's just plain mean. The DDs usually get up and will go to their own room and ignore it. It's usually when i hear them singing in their room when i walk by will i come and check on them, and they tell me that they really tried to just ignore it, but she kept going on and on, and they just couldn't take it any more. My response is usually, "Don't let it go that far, leave as soon as you see it going in that direction." But they are like me, they really hope she'll change, or stop acting that way. And they don't want to give up.
How old is she? My SD is mean
How old is she? My SD is mean too. I’ve had talks with her about being nice. Have you talked directly to her about it?
Many times, we've tried many
Many times, we've tried many different things, she's 13 now.
Mines 13 too. After many
Mines 13 too. After many direct talks she has gotten better but it’s still pretty bad with my SD too. I’ve had to remove myself from the home whenever she is over and I refuse to go to any of her events. She doesn’t deserve my attention.
Yep that's about how it goes
Yep that's about how it goes at our house, BS4 ends up in his room when he can't take the crap SS8 pulls on him anymore.
Sad that it is that way. Especially when BS really loves and looks up too SS at this point.
I feel like this is so common
I feel like this is so common. It is all fueled by jealousy, not that the excuse is good for anything.
My bios hide from skids too. It is one of the things DH uses against me. That MY bios are the problem. Haha! I hide from them too, so what is his excuse about that one. Nothing!
There is no fixing it, have tried for years. I just try to minimize the impact skids have. And count the days until they age out although secretly hoping they just stop coming. But that will never happen because I think they truly enjoy terrorizing us.
DH made a comment one day that when skids are here he feels like our home is divided. I'm like YOU THINK?! Of course it is, what do you expect. Everyone is in protection mode.
They truly enjoy terrorizing us
no words have been more eloquently spoken. Thats skids in a nutshell no matter what age. They just get better at it as they age
Ugh, I don't know how...
..you all put up with this.
This was happening with my baby and formerSS13. You would think with an age spread like that he wouldn't compete or, for the love of God, be mean to a baby...but he was. And my formerSO and his family would just ignore it, make excuses and exclaim what an awesome big "brudder" he was. (Yes, they said "brudder", why are you all baby talking the word brother for a 13 year old??? He is a teen!!!! Getting ready to go to high school!!)
I just couldn't stand for my child to be treated like that, and KNOW it would continue.
Duplicate
Ooops
Why isn't your DH shutting
Why isn't your DH shutting her down??? Always trying to one-up? Points out flaws?? She sounds like a 13yo arsehole with bullying potential. Your DH needs to step up and parent and put a stop to her crap.
As for your bios (I'm so sorry!!!), they have a way to shut her down, too. IGNORE HER. Teach them to refuse to give SD any kind of attention.
BTW, if SD is the one who should be in her room and NOT your bios. Hey, SD! If you can't say something nice, SHUT IT.
Thank you everyone for
Thank you everyone for allowing me to vent here! Sometimes i just need to vent to people who get it! I can vent to my mom, but she's never been a step mom, and just doesn't get it! My parents think I'm awful for speaking of a child the way i do, but even they get kinda creeped out by her. They let all the kids spend the night, including sd, but she pushes herself between them in the couch, lays her head in their lap, lays out on the couch, so that the isn't enough room for anyone else to sit, which then sd is asked to go to bed, since she is so tired. You think she'd learn. When my mom cooks dinner, sd always pushes pay everyone sp that she can sit by my mother, then she smacks her lips, slurps her food off of her spoon, moans while she eats, then after dinner raises up her shirt and rubs her belly. I told my mother she had never been THAT bad while at the table for us, but dh freaks out on her for any noise she makes while eating. Sp maybe it just doesn't go that far. Don't get me wrong, my mom doesn't ALLOW bad manners at the table, she just gives gentle reminders, and she doesn't like the idea of reprimanding grandchildren.
Wow. I feel for you.
Wow. I feel for you.
SD is almost 13 and the one upping is a joke. She thinks she’s such a special princess and the world only revolved because she what’s it to. She’s no talented, she gets tired after a 3 minute walk or exercise of any kind. She was “on” her school basketball team, I think her role was to watch the other girls practice?! But my 8 year old cant say anything without her having some story of how she does it better. She’s been on more planes, learned more in school (she has 5 years on him and just failed 7th grade), has the newest iPhone, Mac laptop, tablet, her own debit card, her mom buys her everything she what’s, she’s allowed to watch whatever she wants and has no bedtime and thinks it’s weird that he does. Granted his is only with her mom, with us she has rules but she whines nonstop about them. BS can’t even use the bathroom without her saying she did it first and better. She never stops talking. The sound of her voice grates on my nerves. I try to show positivy to DH and my 2 BS about her coming to stay with us but it’s getting harder and harder each time. She’s been here 3 weeks and doesn’t leave until August, mid or late August. I’m on the verge of putting up a count down and buying a bottle of champagne to celebrate when she leaves.