Oh hell no!! Let me guess she POS doesn't work either.

You just paid thousands of dollars to not have to make those payments. Why in the world would you subject yourself to it willingly?

If you pay, you create a precedent and open the door to an endless stream of requests for payment.  The court just said no to your DH having to pay additional for sports fees.  What was the point of spending attorneys' fees and going to court if you are just going to turn around and give her the money anyway?

Most kids understand that money is not an endless resource and if they are told you can't afford something, they get it.  They also are able to understand the difference between $2000 for travel and $100 for rec league by the time they're old enough for a travel league to be appropriate.  If your husband is otherwise an involved dad who shows his love to his kids in ways other than financially, I would think he can sit them down and explain why he is not able to pay for their soccer fees (if the BM tries to make him look bad for refusing).

I wouldn't ask her to ask her family for the money - that's none of your business.  But your DH can certainly just say no.

No. You just said you can’t afford it and you’ve provided reasonable evidence as to why.  On top of that your SO pays child support already so if she wants them in it so bad she can take it from there. Traveling soccer is not a mandatory part of life.

Consider the fact that her behavior isn’t going to change either way. Do you think paying will suddenly cause her to be a good co-parent and stop trying to alienate the children? No she’ll find something else to cry about and blame daddy for.

I don’t know how old the children are but considering her behavior it might be time to finally tell them some truths. If BM is lying about dad contributing it might be time to sit down and teach the kids about budgeting. You can show them your guys income and what bills you have. You can show them dad makes X amount and gives mom X to help support the kids. From there dad has to pay X to this person and X for this. Then with what’s left over X goes to buying food and such. Basically teach them a life skill that at the same time informs them that dad is helping. You don’t have to tell them that dad is court ordered to pay mom child support and she needs to use that money. You just show where the money’s going.

On another note you need to forget about BM's income or what she can get from others. Once your DH pays child support forget about it. Pay what you have to then what you can and want to and leave it at that.

Trust me I can sit there and gripe about how BM should be doing this and that. I can scream for days about how she spends her money. It doesn’t do any good. I make sure my partner does what he legally has to and from there we look at everything case by case. If we want to support something and can we do.

I am confused.  You went to court and the judge said "NO" to the extra costs.... so she went back to court AGAIN.. I'm surprised the same judge didn't make her pay your atty fees! 

Look, if both parents can reasonably afford it, it would be nice depending on other factors like CS obligation to share in the cost of extracuricular activities at a level that is acceptable to both parties. 

I would have no problem telling the kids that money doesn't grow on trees and travel ball is not in the budget and that they can participate in REC league instead...or you will pay proportional amount of rec leage towards the travel ball fees.  I would not go on a payment plan for a sport.. nope.

And sorry, parents tell their children NO all the time for things.. even things the kids want (like North Face Jackets OSD.. and new cars at 16).

"Kids, I send your mom the coourt ordered amount of support each month.  I cannot control what she does or doesn't use it for."

Done.

I agree with everyone.  If you can't afford it, don't do it.  You're not doing the kids a favor by breaking your own budget.  When my 3 kids were younger (jr high and 1 in elementary), my then husband and I sat them down and showed them, on paper, what our take home income was and then subtracted all the bills and they saw what was left over.  They're eyes got huge and mouths dropped open and we knew at that moment, that they GOT IT.  My kids never acted entitled or spoiled because they understood our life.  They also knew some people had it better and could get more and some didn't have it as good as we did.  I always think back to that moment and feel that was a pivitol point in their upbringing. 

I agree with other opinions - do not pay. You just paid an attorney to be sure you didn't have to pay for such things.

What I am surprised about and do not agree with is sitting kids down and telling them how much you make, what the cost of certian bills are etc. That is not knowledge kids need or should have - kids shouldn't worry about money or know the nitty gritty of parent finances.

I have seen on this site "no" is a complete sentence and I agree with that, especially in this instance. 

OMG are your seriously worried about how dh may look?

The JUDGE said NO.

-------------------------

My dh and I have bio's together. Inside our 'intact' family unit.  I can assure you we have said NO , not in the budget, or  if you want this you must save for next month, or next year. . MORE than we care to add up.

Gosh 2k a month PLUS 2k for traveling soccer. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

Good for the Judge this happened to a friend of mine too. She really is a Great BM but asked for a lot of extras . Judge said NOPE.

I don't even have $2000 take home pay a month.... She has way more than enough with all that in CS. I still managed to fund the Skids playing rec league ball... She'll be fine!!! Don't give in to all the extras she wants or she'll just keep asking!!!

Whaaaa? I'm thankful we don't have travel ball here in the UK, we do have some school and then local clubs. I think it's too much for kids anyway and can lead to life long ligament damange (in soccer, probably not baseball) and it sucks up huge amounts of time. I'd personally say no to travel ball on principle and hell no to the extra money. If this were a case of her not having enough money to pay the club level fees, I'd say yes - defo pay if you can. But it isn't. So no. 

I just saw this post, what was the out come? We are on the oposit fence. We spend over $3000 in sports for the 3 kids and the BM (EOW) said she pays child support so she does not need to pay for sports too. I understand if she does not have the money to help with EXTRA cost to send them to play sports. But when she buys a new car, takes a lower paying job to be closer to her BF and lives in his house and does not pay rent also got a second dog and does not drive her kids to any sport. When she says i dont have the money it is hard to belive. 

But she does not say that, she says she wont cause she pays CS and if DH doesnt pay for the sports then he is the bad guy. But we cant afford to pay for them by our self, and just so they can i help pay for them. But how is any of this fair in the end?

Sounds familiar. BM did the same to us for SD's softball fees, sports tournaments, staying in fancy themed hotels instead of a normal hotel - etc. It would make me sick hearing about it, all the while we paid 1800 a month in child support and couldn't afford anything. BM sent the kids over in shoes that were too small, yet bought herself brand new red cowboy boots so she could go out whoring at bars as an urban cowgirl. I wish I had some advice other than to keep some money set aside in an account that only YOU can access, since DH's balls are in a jar on BM's counter until  the kids are 18.