I would not worry all that much about unemployment figures.  They are a highly manipulated number that is actually a bit tough to draw conclusions.  It doesn't take into account so many factors that it really isn't a fully perfect reflection of the job market.

From what I can see, wherever I go... Help Wanted signs are everywhere.  I'm not necessarily saying that the jobs being offered are suited to everyone.. manufacturing, construction, truck driving, service industry, sales... etc...  The biggest LAMENT that I see most employers have is that they cannot find qualified workers.  That is workers who are legal to work, don't have criminal records, substant abuse problems and are able to regularly show up for work and stay off their cell phone.  My DH and I spend a fair amount of time in different areas from the east coat to Louisiana and virtually every town has multiple signs asking for help wanted.  My DH is currently going through the pains of trying to fill out his crew because so many of the green guys decide the work is "too hard" or they can't stay off drugs to pass the random tests.

So, don't let your DH get down about those numbers and he needs to get out there and apply, apply apply.  He may even need to look outside his normal work environment or go beyond his preferred commute, but there ARE jobs.. really not enough people to fill them!

There is absolutely nothing your DH can do to change or speed up the timeline BM will receive CS. Why listen/read to her rants? If she has an issue with the way unemployment works, she can call that office. Some kind person who gets stuck answering calls with questions will politely explain it to her. They get paid to handle inquiring calls, lol. 

Make your meal budget plan. Be prepared to modify the menu if something goes on sale here and there to expand the selection. Kid eats it or hand him the peanut butter and jelly. If what you put on the table is being eaten by everyone else there is no reason it's not good enough for him to eat too. 

Both of these boys are old enough to hear some reality. There are families temporarily cutting down on budgets as various unexpected financial hits occur. Some families struggle all the time. He is no different or more special than any other child when it comes to families facing a set-back. He can simply get over himself. If he wants to see children who actually have it rough fulltime with no choice, let Dad give him a trip down to the local various charities that help poor families (he will quickly see exactly how well he does truly have it).  And with that said, if necessary , don't be too proud and not take advantage of a local food pantry through the churches if you find it necessary. 

And for your own sanity, you need to schedule in a lunch and/or dinner out with a female friend/co-worker so you have a chance to relax, be with non-whiners and treat yourself a bit now and then for all the struggling you're doing to make things ok for your DH and his sons. If they didn't have you right now, the three of them might have found themselves not only having a dinner not up to their preference but out on the street too.

One note on the meal planning.  Is there something cheap that the kids actually like?  Even if it's not healthy or "non-junk".. really.. I wouldn't care if easymac would shut them up... I would have it ready.  Or, if it would really be cheaper to get a mcdonald's happy meal or whatever.. do that.

Grilled cheese sandwich, applesauce, easy mac & cheese, spagetti O's - is about all that SS8 will eat at our house since we don't eat out and all he wants is McDonalds.

I've been known to say:

"You don't have to eat it if you don't want it, but since I'm the one spending the money to feed you, and you're the one eating for free, you can eat what I give you, or not at all. I don't have to spend money on you, and you're lucky that I'm even giving you THIS. You can eat, or not. Your choice."

I understand that you also have to walk the line of not poking the BM and having the kids call mommy and tell them that "mean old tank and daddy aren't giving us any food...we are starving."  So you don't really have the option of going full on scorched earth like you might for your own bio kids (when parents are together).

What you can do is have ONE acceptable alternative available that falls in the category of easy to procure/prepare.  Might be hot dogs, PBJ, Grilled Cheese, frozen chicken nuggets, Mac n Cheese, Ramen, favored lunchable... etc...   So, you tell the kids.. it's "Sirloin steaks on the menu tonight".. response of "I only like Ribeyes"... you say well, your other option is hot dogs (which yuo already know they like) so, what do you prefer?    If they say.. McDonald's or some other thing you repeat that you have given them two options.. one of which you know they like, so they need to decide between those two options only.

That way, when/if your DH gets the call from BM he can say that he offered them steaks or hot dogs and they refused both options... that he isn't running a short order restaurant and that in his book 2 options of perfectly edible food is sufficient and is not abusive treatment.

I know it's frustrating to plan and cook a healthy meal only to have the kids turn their noses up at it because it isn't what they are used to...or even because they want to be difficult (or a mix of both).  Your job isn't to ensure that they are getting every component of the food groups and every vitamin.... As long as they have fluids and nutrients.. they won't die in the few days they spend with their dad every year.  I know you think it will benefit them to try new foods and eat a better diet, but this is not a hill to die on.  These kids are in their mother's care more than your household's care.  Plus, your husband doesn't care about it like you do... so if he doesn't care if they eat nuggets and tater tots or corn dog bites... it's easy.. keeps them shut up.. I would move on.  The only hill I would die on is that you aren't footing restaurant bills while your husband is out of work. 

So, totino's pizzas are cheap.  corn dog and chicken nuggets are cheap.  So are tater tots and ramen and mac and cheese.  Fix adult meals with a bit extra for you and DH... if the kids want it, you can have enough.. otherwise it gets a 2nd showing for lunch the next day by you and/or your DH.  He doesn't like leftovers?  People without paychecks like leftovers.  If the kids do eat what you prepare... then you will dip in to the kid food stash that is pretty much frozen or canned anyway... no loss.