help with what others have done around doing a will
Hello,
I am just wanting to hear from other people around what they have done when it comes to blended family wills? I am married and have no children of my own and have been with my wife for 7 years. She has two children from a previous marriage and we have a fantastic blended family life no issue at all i am very lucky. One of the only touchy areas and one i dont really want to bring up is the requirement for wills, now i have been all in with my wife and her kids from day 1 on all levels including finacially. The kids are now 17 and 21, we go on family holidays overseas, we bought a house together and i brought in about 100,000 and she brought in about 200,000 to the relationship but most was spent setting her up after the split and getting our new house and wedding.
Now my issue is that i know it will be a case of my wife wanting to protect the kids with some part of the will going to them, which in principle i agree with of course. This still has a level of sucky about it as in the previous marriage with the father of the kids it would have all been left to him with the hope that he too would do the right thing and give them somethign and not run off with some other women and her kids. I understand that i am not biological so there is an added risk but what annoys me is that its good enough for me to be all in and all finacially together and spending money on kids that arent mine (not how i actually think) but when it comes down to it we better put something legal in to protect them from me. Its just really hard to not feel like an outsider or not quite good enough or real enough in situations like these and im struggling with it.
My wife wants to look after me there is no issue there as such but its messy i want to be building my life with her and know we are doing it together not that part of it could be taken off me if soemthing happens to her. Currently my life insurance all goes to her and the kids and now i am starting to think should i be thinking the same way, should i leave some of my money to my parents to make sure if i am gone that they are looked after and they have money to go into a home etc. I am currently assuming my wife would look after them but then when it comes to things like this i get reminded only blood counts or so it seems.
Anyone with any advice or help would be greatly appreciated, i am finding i am just getting alittle cynical with this whole thing.
You need to see a good
You need to see a good attorney. I have more assets than my DH, but want to make sure that he is well taken care of if I predecease him. But I do not want one penny of any of my hard earned ever going to his worthless POS son. We set up a trust that will provide for my DH by will not allow him to leave any of my assets to his son.
IMy DH and I are both retired so end of life of life issues are closer for us. My assets are mostly in an IRA that was totally funded before I even met my DH. Other assets are in real estate (no mortgage) that I owned prior to my marriage.
I had this fear that DH and I would be in an accident and I would die 5 minutes before him. He would inherit all of my asset and my disgusting absolutely worthless druggie alcoholic SS32 would than inherit it all.
Definitely check with an
Definitely check with an attorney.. first order of business because your state may have specific rules that will impact how things are divided. for example in my state.. absent a will, my spouse's kids would end up with 2/3 of his estate... excluding specific settlements like insurance policy distributions to set beneficiaries or real estate depending upon how it is titled etc..
So, you don't want to find out that the kids are entitled to everything... Now, the home you are in may be titled to go to the surviving owner.. so that may not be an issue, but you need to look through the assets you both have to decide what you ultimately want to happen. Obviously, your wife might also be concerned you would remarry and then leave everything to your new spouse too.
Since you have no kids, that is one less stumbling block, but you may well be interested in seeing that your parents have some support if needed. You can establish multiple beneficiary shares for your insurance policy and if your parents pass first, I am thinking your wife would fully benefit unless you changed it.
Nothing wrong with protecting your interests... but you need to ensure your interests are also protected and you aren't forced into some home sale etc.. if she were to pass untimely.
Our Will names each other the
Our Will names each other the sole heir and beneficiary of the estate when one of us predeceases the other. In the event of our joint demise the estate goes into trust for our son (my former SS-25 now adopted) until he either completes a bachelor's degree from a regionally accredited college/university or turns 40 whichever is first. Kind of our way of parenting from beyond the grave. My younger brother and my dad are coexecutors.
We set this up when SS was a young minor child in order to protect our assets from the SpermClan in the event of our demise.
You can stipulate in your
You can stipulate in your current will, a percentage of money goes to your parents. Or specific dollar amount.
I personally know a couple who is extremely wealthy. Their kids will receive a small monthly amount call it 500.00 a month for x amount of years each. When the kids turn 58 (NO JOKE) they will receive the remainder.
The people I speak of expect their kids to make their own way in life. This will also weed out potential spouses looking for a pay day too.
Something else to think about in your planning is Elder Care. You may think you have a bundle to 'will' your wife and her kids. IF you must be placed in a Nursing home they do a lonnnnggggg look back. Average assisted living per month is 2k a month 'low side'. Not including all the extras they tack on..
Make sure your taken care of while your alive, in the care facility YOU want before you pass away. It may take all of what you have saved thus far.
In any event, it's your last will and testament. DO as you wish. Remember it can be changed as many times as you want it to.