Bio mom found out I was introduced to her kids
Hello, my first 3 encounters with her kids went well. We spoke a little, went to a museum, played some games and yesterday we visited my boyfriend's parents (kids' grandparents).
Last night (at aprox. 10 PM in the night) my boyfriend got a call from his Ex wife - apparently was his daughter on the phone crying because "she wants her parents to get back together". We left her in a good state, so this mood came as a surprise for us. He tried to calm her down, but firmly told her that what she wants it's not possible.
After that, bio-mom called him insistently! At that inappropiate hour, I adviced him not to answer. She left a message saying that she called to talk about their daughter.
Today I'm very anxious. I hope my boyfriend will not be influenced in any way by this bitch. I do not know what to advise him.
If he listens to her if she
If he listens to her if she "forbids" you to be near the skids then he's worthless.
Girl, if he's so easily
Girl, if he's so easily swayed by someone he disliked enough to divorce, you don't want him!!!!!
Have confidence. You have no idea what she'll say.
better comms
BM really shouldn't have found out from the kids that dad has a new girlfriend. That was his job to say "heads up, I'm introducing someone new". This is what my partner did and he showed me the email and I sent something similar to my ex. Personally, I wanted to reassure my former partner that I was dating someone ok and someone who is good with kids. I even sent his name so my ex could Google him up.
But don't be too panicky about this. When I told my son (he was 10) that I was dating someone new, he cried at the dinner table. It was heartbreaking. It's a huge huge deal and creates a lot of uncertainty in a child's mind. You will have a huge influence on these children's lives for good or ill and their relationship with their father and they KNOW that. As it happens, it's all worked out really well and my son is very fond of my partner and they get on well (and mostly vice versa - my younger SS occasionally has issues, but he's only 9).
Kids want their parents together. Of course they do. But stay calm and it can all work out.
I have done with my boyfriend
I have been with my boyfriend/biokids dad for two and a half years now and he has three other boys with his ex-wife; ages 3, 6 and 11. Sometimes when they are at our house they make comments about their mom getting back together with my boyfriend and it puts me on the edge of my seat too! It's an uncomfortable feeling because you are so in love with that man and you do question that what if he does consider what the kids are saying?!? I have to tell myself that she is his ex for a reason and if it didn't work out with them before when they had kids it isn't going to work out again! Kids are kids. Eventually her wanting her parents to get back together will fly out of the window! Once she adjust to you more and sees how happy her dad is with you everything will change! It is new for her still! And I'm sure your boyfriend is very happy that he is with YOU!