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No time for a relationship

caitlinj's picture

Submitted by caitlinj on Thu, 05/10/2018 - 11:56am

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General Discussion

My man has no time for a relationship. Basically I quit taking days off work and driving out to his place and we never see each other. He is complaining and saying he’s stressed and needs my help. He choose to put his son in a very aggressive baseball program that practices 3 days a week and has games twice a week. With work on top of that he has no time or money to come see me or do date nights. He’s complaining and saying it’s my fault. Hmm.....he says he’s stressed and I should’ve keep going to his place and making sacrifices when he makes none for our relationship.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Thu, 05/10/2018 - 12:11pm

Nope. Courting, dating, call it what you will, requires effort on his part.

He wants the candy, but he doesn't want to pay for it or even make the effort of going to the store to get it? Sorry, not sorry.

Caitlin, move on to someone who isn't a self absorbed, whiny mangina. Raise your standards, and find a man who knows how to treat a woman with respect.

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

Submitted by Myss.Tique D'Off on Thu, 05/10/2018 - 12:43pm

Find the courage and self-respect to call it quits.

It sounds like you cant let go of a one sided infatuation rather than a relationship. Relationships arent one sided like this. If he doesnt have time for a relationship with you, believe him. It doesnt have to be a choice between you or the kid. If it is, you will lose. It is a pretty poor excuse anyway.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Thu, 05/10/2018 - 12:43pm

I'm not going to make excuses... But depending on where you are. The girls are in Softball and T-ball. T-ball practices 3x a week for 1.5 hours, with two hour long games a week. Softball practices 3x a week for 2 hours, with 2 1 hour and 15 minute games. That's the rec league. 

While I agree he needs to make sure your relationship is the priority, I also understand wanting his son to be able to participate in activities he enjoys. It's actually proven to be healthy and help a kid develop better when they're involved of things outside of the home.

However, he needs to make effort, calls, etc. Having a kid and having the kid in activities is not an excuse to not see his SO. In fact, since only 5 days a week have baseball, that should, in theory, leave two for you, EVERY week.

mro's picture

Submitted by mro on Fri, 05/11/2018 - 8:29pm

And you'll find your answer.  He doesn't have time. Just looking at his family obligations, it doesn't sound like he is cut out for a relationship right now.  Stay with him if you want to play second fiddle.

One of the reasons I didn't date again until my kids finished high school.

Powerfamily's picture

Submitted by Powerfamily on Sat, 05/12/2018 - 1:46am

This is not a relationship, this is him wanting a booty call or ATM.

He can only expect to have relationship with you or anyone if he put in more effort.  It not your job (or any female) to fill in the areas in his life which can't full fill himself.

fairyo's picture

Submitted by fairyo on Sat, 05/12/2018 - 3:24am

All this! Caitlin why aren't you listening to these people? Over and over you post, I presume for help and advice, your relationship (if it can be called that) is over. Live your life, please- you were not put on this Earth to be a doormat for this guy.

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Sat, 05/12/2018 - 11:05am

Don’t get it.  He does not want bed time with you.  There more wrong with him then you know