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It never will stop I guess....

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Fri, 04/27/2018 - 6:34am

So I posted on my blog yesterday about BM not giving DH a 24 hour notice in advance about this band intro thing that YSS was supposed to go to. So DH goes to pick up the skids at his usual 6:00 pm time and BM calls him he didn't answer the phone. She then sends him a nasty text and tells him that his lack of communication about the children's school activities, medical appointments etc is childish and that she now wants court-appointed text messages. I assume what she was referring to is Family Wizard. REALLY BM!! I mean where does she get off! She hadn't even notified DH about the medical and dental appointment and he had to text her about the CO stating that he keeps them on Friday since it was his weekend last weekend.

The CO states that she is actually supposed to let DH know before making the appointments and what the appointments are for. DH had mentioned Family Wizard to BM before and she just wasn't having it. There is nothing in the CO that DH says that he has to talk to BM on the phone. Does he really have to talk to her on the phone if she calls? Will it look like that he is not communicating with her since he doesn't answer the phone? Last Friday she called him over and over again and he was in a meeting so he told her that he was busy and not to call him when he is at work. I just feel like she does these things on purpose because she just wants to remain relevant in my DH's life.

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Fri, 04/27/2018 - 6:48am

Our Family Wizard just might be a good thing. It will show exactly her ways (or lack of) that she communicates. It will also show how she badgers him during work hours. 

If getting OFW have clarifications in the order. Something about time of response (48hrs?) to open and answer if a answer is necessary. Except for in medical emergencies. 

No judge is going to say it's ok for BM to repeatedly text this father over and over again while working.

She tries this route of court order communication and it's not going to work like she seems to believe it will. 

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Fri, 04/27/2018 - 6:54am

She called him over and over again and he texted her and asked her not to text him during work hours and that he was busy. She said that she needed my DOB to use the medical insurance. I don't understand why she just couldn't have texted that she needed that information as well he would've texted her back right away with no problem. He couldn't answer any phone calls because he was in a meeting with his boss.

dysfunctionally_blended's picture

Submitted by dysfunctionally... on Fri, 04/27/2018 - 7:07am

NO! Reasonable communication is what is required. And it does not need to be via phone. Actually everyone is better off with all communication to be in writing. There is never a question as to what was said and agreed upon.  

We set up an auto text so when HCBM called it sent and stated please text or email all requests or concerns. If emergency, text will be answered immediately. 

Your HCBM is using communication as a means of control. Same with withholding info. 

If she suggested OFW you should run with it! Get it now! She will have just shot herself in the foot because all communication is recorded and admisable in court. Plus its all in writing, no phone calls Wink

I love dogs's picture

Submitted by I love dogs on Fri, 04/27/2018 - 8:30am

Even if she tries to back track, your hubby needs  INSIST that it is necessary then proceed to give the examples of the appointments, band meeting, and constant harassing texts/ calls. No texts/ calls unless there is an emergency! I hope he saves all of her nasty texts.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Fri, 04/27/2018 - 9:13am

I also would be in agreement about OFW.  Get it.  Insist she use it.  All texts directly to him will be responded with OFW...as you demanded ;).

Now.... we all know that your DH does a bit of passive aggressive icing of her when she asks things... so he does need to be adult and respond (via the OFW.. text whatever they agree on) in a timely manner... whether she is following the CO or not.. he should uphold his side of things.  It will look better if he has records that he responds to her quickly and with the relevant information.  This is a case where she is "more" wrong.. but I have seen your DH do things that do appear to be spiteful and difficult when he could have simply moved forward without that.

And.. again.. you are being pulled into it.  You shouldn't have to know she pestered him at work etc.. not your circus.

Cooooookies's picture

Submitted by Cooooookies on Sat, 04/28/2018 - 2:52am

OFW is probably a good thing if your DH is willing to pay for it.

Also you're getting sucked back into the mess hun.  Remember - not your monkeys, not your circus.  Let your DH handle it and give yourself some peace of mind.  BM is renting far too much space in your head.