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Should I feel sorry for her?

mamabear3's picture

Submitted by mamabear3 on Mon, 04/23/2018 - 3:49pm

So BM grandma sent me, DH, BM Ex-DH and apparently everyone at her church the following message:

 

 

She is ridiculed and demeaned at every turn. Don't you dare tell me this was what she wanted!! With your attitude no wonder she says it won't work so why try. You only ridicule her and tell her what shes done wrong, you don't ever tell her how proud you are of her accomplishments s. That doesn't matter now and never did all thru your marriage. When did you ever tell people to shut up where she was concerned. Well do not worry about her. I was talking to a member of the Marines here and he got on the phone, made a few calls and BM has a room for a week at Motel 6. It's dad isn't it that it took a group of Marines to say been there and it's no place for a woman to be alone. Even their wives were appalled that she had no family or church to help her. Thanks to you the judges of humanity. You will face God one day, I wonder what his judgement will be. I'll pray for all of you

So on one hand, it sucks but on the other hand she did this to herself and I really don't feel sorry for her.  But should I?  

Also, I think it's time to block the grandma.  I was trying hard not to but this is just stupid. 

Comments

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Mon, 04/23/2018 - 4:02pm

So why isn't grandma giving BM somewhere to stay? Oh people in glass houses...

I have had moments where I have felt bad for BM, such as when GBM let her house go and BM was evicted with nowhere to go.

Then I remembered that BM wad woefully underemployed, and GBM moved out of her own house and left BM there because BM moved her unemployed, pill-popping DH back into the house, which they all had destroyed. Oh, and she lied to DH about where she and the kids were living so that he wouldn't take the kids, so there's that.

Once you're an adult, you have to do for yourself. That is doubly true when you have kids. That doesn't mean I don't have sympathy, but I have watched my own family struggle while working really hard. I will help anyone willing to help themselves, but I won't put myself in danger to give someone else a boost. Harsh as that may sound, I am the only one responsible for me, and it does me no good to lift you up a little if all it does is bring me down to your level (general you, not you specifically OP).

Don't feel bad. Baby steps are great, but they don't deserve parades. Plus, BM isn't your responsibility or the responsibility of her exes. If Granny doesn't like the situation BM is in, she can throw herself into the fire and hope she doesn't get burned, too.

queensway's picture

Submitted by queensway on Mon, 04/23/2018 - 4:26pm

I realize I am out of the loop about your BM and her story. But are you saying that grandma set up BM with some Marines at Motel 6. WT!

 

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Submitted by SonOfABrisketMaker on Mon, 04/23/2018 - 9:52pm

You stop that! I'm howling with laughter so much my pups are becoming concerned. I owe you a beer now.:) 

mamabear3's picture

Submitted by mamabear3 on Tue, 04/24/2018 - 9:40am

From what I understood from the message is the grandmother met some Marines in OR (where she is currently) and they contacted a local hotel and set her up for a week.  And yes I highly doubt she told them the whole story...

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Mon, 04/23/2018 - 4:33pm

I would block Grandma.. your DH doesn't even owe her anything... if BM wants her mother to be able to see her grandson.. let her figure it out.  Yeah.. I understand BM is incapable.. again. not your problem.. it is self inflicted.

I would block her.  There is no way the GUBGM is going to accept that it was likely a matter of the way she raised her daughter that caused her daughter to develop problems... she is not your DH's responsibility.. nor is she yours.

 

ETexasMom's picture

Submitted by ETexasMom on Mon, 04/23/2018 - 7:22pm

You are not her family but her grandma is. So why is grandma expecting everyone (ex, church, and marines) to take care of BM when her own family won't????

--figureditout--'s picture

Submitted by --figureditout-- on Tue, 04/24/2018 - 1:28am

Do not have pity for an addict. Unless she was hogtied and the drugs were forced into her, she made the choice to use. Thirty days of clean time ain't shit.

I am an alcoholic. I have 16 months of sobriety and am still getting myself together. I alone am responsible for my issues. My youngest son is half deaf due to my shitty parenting and I will forever carry the guilt because I should have known it wasn't just ear infections.

Keep that boy safe and f*ck all of the people who are listening to good ol' Bible thumping granny. Let her take responsibility for where her addict child lives.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Tue, 04/24/2018 - 7:48am

Oh, I do love others' sanctimonious bullsh!t. Not to mention, the excuses.

BM made her own choices.