Anyone else dread SK's??
New here and first I'm so happy I found this site. Second I'm sure some will hate me for saying this but I have come to hate having the SK's over. I've been living with my BF for 6 years hoping as the kids got older they would get better but they have gotten worse. BM is a total nightmare and uses "daddy guilt" to nickle and dime BF for every little thing she wants. The kids are pre teen and teens now and absolute spoiled brats that have no respect for their father. They steal from us to the point I have to lock my purse in my car when they are over and had to buy a safe for my "valuables". BF just ignores the stealing. They swear at us and the younger one hits his father. He would hit me to but I "tread careful" around him. The court systems are mostly to blame I feel at least how these kids have turned out. The court systems ONLY care about the best interest of the kids and screw the parents happiness or what they want and they drill this into the parents. In the case of my BF who already suffers from what i call "daddy guilt" has caused this kids to turn into monsters. These kids have no rules or boundaries and do as they please and get happiness they want. BF asks them to do things like clean their room or pick up their mess but if they say no thats the end of it. When they were younger and could not stay alone if we had dinner plans or wanted to do something outside and SKs decided they wanted to stay home instead guess what we stayed home and canceled our plans. SK's run the show. I am so jealous of people who say they only get to see their SK's every other weekend. That would be a dream! We have them 50/50. Anyways thanks for letting me vent it was a LONG weekend!
The whole disney dad thing
The whole disney dad thing with not change with your BF.
This will only get worse
'He would hit me to but I "tread careful" around him'
NO, you should not be treading carefully around ANYONE because they might hit you. Tell him that if he lays a finger on you you will call the cops. Simple. Tankh21 is right, your DH won't change. The ex has him by the B***s and he has let her do it.
You are right that the courts don't help but this is no way to live. Their parents are not doing them any favours in not having boundaries, allow them free reign etc because the grown up work of work etc will not allow this. They will have a big shock. In my mind, it's actually a kind of indulgent neglect of parental responsibities. But... there's nothing you can do about it, you are an SM, there to take the blame, act as servant etc. If you don't have any children with this man I would seriously think about your situation and if you value your peace of mind and happiness.
Funny..well not really..but
Funny..well not really..but we did call the cops on the older SK once. SK then called BM who raced over to "rescue" SK before the cops could get there. Then the wonderful (sarcasm) family court came down on BF like the hand of god saying how could he possibly call the cops on his own sweet, innocent oh the horror of it (more sarcasm) SK??? I wanted to gag are they really that blind or just don't care???
Everyone is so right. Unless
Everyone is so right. Unless you live it you don't get it and if you vent to non-step parents they look at you like some selfish childish adult. I made the mistake of "venting" once to SK's therapist (the one time I went)about the stealing and rudeness issue and thought the kids should have consequences. My god you would have thought I told her I wanted to sell the kids into slavery by her reaction! Guess I should have thrown "therapists" in with family court as the reason the SK's are such brats. Anyways one SK is 17 with a BF so "hoping" one more year and she will be gone or at least the visitation schedule will not still be in play.
If You Are Assaulted By the skid
If you are EVER assaulted by those little hellions, tread softly and straight to court. If you are hit, they need to be housed in a juvenile detention facility until they can learn to act like they have some sense. Never tolerate being hit.
Serious question
Why would you agree to live like this? Your bf isn’t the only one letting the kids run the show...sounds like you are too. Why?
I dread every single time the
I dread every single time the SK comes .. everyone in the house gets up tight and that includes our two cats because he pulls their tails and then wonders why they hiss and claw at him. And I've learned that you can't tell anyone how you 'really' feel about those weekends because people will judge you so badly.