Help on child support concerns (NY)
Situation:
I'm the step mom to an 8YO boy. See below for the cliffnotes.
BM lives in NY, with new husband and +2 kids under 4. Skid is 8YO with ADHD, OCD, ODD, and Dyslexia. BM gets $760/month in CS, along with the costs for medical, school supplies, clothes, etc...where the BD pays 78% of all costs associated with those extra costs. BM lives with parents and does not work. She had it written into the agreement she and BF are the only ones called "Mom/Dad," yet the SF is called Dad, while my husband is called "Daddy (name)." She did not follow the agreement for three years following the divorce because she had her issues with my husband. We didn't have overnights for five years, and were forced to get hotels, and drive in and out fo NJ for a few hours of time with skid.
BF lives in VA with wife (no kids). He works shift work and his hours and weekend change frequently. We are only able to drive to NY to get the skid every couple months as it allows with his school vacation and our schedule. Each time we travel between gas and tolls its another $200 dollars. Because of the costs of raising a kid in NoVA, we have no had our own children because his $1000+ in CS; but we want to consider doing that soon. We maybe have the child between 30-40 days a year. Barely any holidays because she has him every Christmas and the sons birthday in November. We do not go through the NYS system; per her choice, we pay child support biweekly through transfers once the check gets deposited.
I make more than my husband and I have a few concerns:
1) Will my income count towards any readjustments if she tries to bring us back to court? We file joint and claim the skid every other year.
2) What happens if we have a child, can we get a modification decrease or is it better off to just leave it?
3) What happens if my husband takes a lower paying job and I stay at home?
4) BM is considering moving to NJ for better schools, but what would the child support agreement look like? Would it have to get modified? Would it be better for is if it were modified?
5) We are thinking about moving to another state, so do we get it modified on our end or is it only where the child lives.
Thanks for any help/advice.
It's so great to know I'm not the only one.
1st things 1st. You need to
1st things 1st. You need to change the custody arrangement. Standard out of state parenting time is: 1/2 of Christmas break from school (rotate who get's christmas and who get's new years), Every Spring break, The majority of Summer break, and every other Thanksgiving.
This is a no brainer to get. Now, this will reduce your child support- child support is calculated on the # of days that you have the kid. Also, if you do this through the court systems you can be granted a credit for transportation costs. He is old enough to fly. You can take the average plan ticket (4X per year) and have that calcualted out to a monthly deduction- make sure you include the $150 each way unaccompanied minor fee. This will be a reduction of at least 2K per year.
Your income has nothing to do with child support so you are safe there. I would get everything modified in the courts before you or BM makes another move. I would make an attempt to do the visitation and CS modification without a lawyer and then go back if you have to with a lawyer.
Good Luck!!
Thanks. When they did the
Thanks. When they did the divorce and CS he was in NY. From my research and what I was told, NY law the CS is 17% of the income made by the father. Then the extras were based on the income tax the last year they filed and because she quit her job, he made 78% of their joint income, therefore 6 years later, we still pay all that. While we miss having him frequently, we are okay with the custody agreement because of the issues we have with finding him childcare and whatnot. She would not let him fly alone, she doesn't even let him go play with neighborhood kids unless she watches him. Part of it is because she's a helicopter mom, but the other aspect is that he has no common sense and just wonders off a lot.
He is struggling with behavior issues, which also makes it even more difficult to have him. His ADHD, OCD, ODD, and dyslexia, make it almost impossible to be productive or do his homework when he's with us. His meds are off a bit since his ADHD meds that were working well are no longer avilable due to natural disaster to the factory. He can't be left alone, he freaks out when his BM or BF are upset with each other. He also is not allowed to be left alone with the animals for boundary issues.
Something that a lot of BM's
Something that a lot of BM's find out is that their wishes don't matter. So if BM doesn't want him to travel then that is just too bad.
I understand you worry with behavior and child care costs, but I would point out that if you DH gave up on being a dad to one child he could easily do that to you one day... do you want that for your own kid?
Ahem!
Your income *may* count to the extent that it frees up DH's income which would then be more "available" to increase CS. Not dollar for dollar but if you are paying a significant amount of household bills such as the mortgage, the judge *may* divert that amount as available to pay more CS. This is especially so in states such as NY and CA. Also CS automatically goes to 21, not 18 in NY.
Based on my experience ... here are some thoughts on your ?s.
"I make more than my husband and I have a few concerns:"
1) Will my income count towards any readjustments if she tries to bring us back to court? We file joint and claim the skid every other year.
No.... & yes.... maybe. While generally SParent income is not included in CS calculations many jurisdictions allow for a Judge to award an income reduction credit to one side or the other based on significant SParent income. In our case... the SpermIdiot received a $1000/mo reduction in his income for CS calculations purposes due to "StepDad makes a significant income and (BioDad) should not be penalized by having to contribute to an artificially elevated standard of living for the child."
That is the maximum that could be awarded for income reductio credits in the SpermLand jurisdiction. While it sounds significant.... it only lowered CS by a maximum of $50/mo.
So, your income likely won't have any impact on the CS award ... but it could though I do not know how applying an income reduction credit would work regarding significant NCSP income. I am the CSP and my DW was the CP and received CS from SpermIdiot (NCP).
2) What happens if we have a child, can we get a modification decrease or is it better off to just leave it?
Maybe but due to the Income Shares model of CS calculation that most jurisdictions use it is unlikely that you can get a significant reduction in CS...... if any.
3) What happens if my husband takes a lower paying job and I stay at home?
The Courts frown on parents that live under a Custody/Visitation/Support order taking lower paying jobs. The default seems to be that the adult in question took the lower paying job to avoid CS. For that reason for CS calculation purposes the courts can impute an income on either or both parties that is the greater of either minumum wage or the usual and customary income for the qualifications or imployment history of the person in question.
4) BM is considering moving to NJ for better schools, but what would the child support agreement look like? Would it have to get modified? Would it be better for is if it were modified?
As long as either parent remains in the state where the Custody/Visitation/Support order is in play that state retains jurisdiction over the case. Since your SO has moved out of NY already he remains bound under the NY Custody/Visitation/Support order. If BM moves then venue can be changed to the resident state of either parent though it is most likely that the state where the child(ren) reside full time will become the local with jurisdiction.
This gives a short window where your SO may be able to get it shifted to his state of resident. He needs to get his ducks in a row and be ready to make a motion for VA to become the new venue if VA has more advantagious terms than NJ has. Which has to be the case considering we are talking about NJ which is a very BM biased state.
Get an attorney and learn the official options.
5) We are thinking about moving to another state, so do we get it modified on our end or is it only where the child lives.
Usually it is based on the state where the child(ren) reside(s). "
In our case we kept change of venue as a big stick to hold over the SpermClan's heads. After 6mos of the kid living in TX we could have motioned for a change of venue. If we had CS would have likely trippled ... though visitaiton would likely have doubled. No amount of money was worth exposing the Skid to that shallow and polluted half of his gene pool more often than absolutely necessary so we never changed venue. Though the possibility kept the SpermClan scared do death due to the money it would have cost them.\
Get a good lawyer, do exhaustive research, and know the CO and any supplemental county rules and state regulations that apply. Knowledge is power though in family law.... often logic and intellect plays no part in the process.
IMHO and experience of course.
Good luck.