BM doesn't think SS7 is immature - but the therapist does!
SS7 had a meeting with his Therapist Friday and after words she told DH and I that SS7 was happy in both homes but was getting picked on in School. The therapist though that it could be because though SS7 is very intelligent for his age he is very immature, which would make it hard for him to relate to and interact with children his own age. She also said that he is very sensitive which makes him a target as well.
DH told BM all of this on Sunday during the witch and BM told him that SS7 wasn't immature, he was just a little boy and that was how they are supposed to act. She was concerned about the bullying and will probably blame the teacher for it on Thursday during the parent teacher conference. I told DH that we can't let her do that, it's not the teachers fault, especially if SS7 hasn't told the teacher (he says he has). But teacher can't watch all of the kids all of the time. SS7 needs to learn to act his age and stand up for himself.
Before school even started I told DH that as SS7 got into the higher grade he would became a target for bullies. He is sensitive for one, but he also loves to talk - to everyone - which draws attention to him. He says things that he shouldn't or that don't make sense. One day at our house he asked him little friend from down the street if "He liked getting kisses from his mommy?" When the kid didn't respond, probably because he didn't know how too, ss7 went on to explain that he loves getting kisses from him mommy.
Oh and BM only makes him take a shower once a week at her house.
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Oh and the therapist also has
Oh and the therapist also has a boy SS7 age, so she knows how little boy as supposed to act.
Yeah but children are people
Yeah but children are people and just like anyone else they have their own thoughts, feeling, and personalities. Therapist having a little boy the same age does not mean anything- saying how a child should act at a certain age is subjective to the person giving the definition. Some kids are at differnt social level than others. Also you mention that the therapist said that he was very intelligent for his age-I have noticed (obviously not a professional opinion) that children who are more developed intellectually are usually less developed in regards to social behavior and that they are usually more eccentric. He might grow out of his social immaturity as he gets older but right now he is seven. Just teach him (ie have his father teach him)how to use assertive language when others are picking on him and to report the incidents to the teacher as soon as they occur so that the teacher is dealing with the issue in the present and not in the past so that the facts of the matter do not get distorted.
We reminded SS7 that when he
We reminded SS7 that when he is being bullied to tell the teacher or nearest adult right away.
I couldn't agree more with the social stuff. The therapist said that it should balance out at some point and not to worry about it TOO much. And to enforce a positive self imagine - SS7 told the therapist that he hated himself sometimes.
It also doesn't help that he has a younger brother (ss5) that is 'special needs' so BM makes him play with his brother - they are best friends according to her. And that is fine don't get me wrong but SS7 also needs to play with kids his own age. This summer I took the boys to some social things (because they never leave BM's house on her weeks) so they would be around other children. I didn't not force SS7 to play with SS5, they kind of did their own thing with other kids their own ages. SS7 did get in trouble a few times for being mean to SS5. Yes SS7 was acting like a bully! He told a little girl not to play with SS5 because he was slow and he told another kid that SS5 was annoying. I told him if he couldn't say anything nice then not to say anything at all.
So socially I think SS7 just needs more practice. It's also worth noting that he is one of the oldest Grand kids in the family so at family functions he it usually around younger kids.
First of all, no kid deserves
First of all, no kid deserves to be bullied, regardless of how weird or immature they are, so I don't blame BM for taking this to the teacher. She should, as this is unacceptable.
Bullying is not ok if the kid is "weird".
Secondly I hope the therapist came p with a treatment plan, otherwise it sounds like she's picking on the boy too! Saying the kid is immature isn't helpful to get him to fit in better.
Just to clarify I am not
Just to clarify I am not saying he should be bullied. I am just saying that I saw it coming. And yes the teacher should be addressed about the issue but not blamed for it which I fear BM will do.
Therapist wants to see SS7 once a moth or so to... Well to put it nicely SS7 'forgets' everything that she teaches him in session after about a few weeks. BM does not 'enforce' the therapist rules/suggestions for behavior modification.
As an adult I find its hard
As an adult I find its hard to stick with the changes made in therapy unless I see the therapist once a week, or at the worst, once every two weeks. IMHO once a month doesn't really cut it, especially for a kid with a short attention span. Maybe tell the therapist mom is unhelpful and ask her to do once a week? Unless her schedule is jam packed, I don't know why she would have a problem with that (presumably you're paying her going rate, so...)
We can suggest it - the
We can suggest it - the therapist is pretty busy maybe at least every 2 weeks could be do able. We have told her (and I think SS7 did too) that BM is still doing her own thing. I think it frustrates the therapist but there is only so much she can do. I think she knows that BM is not going to listen to her because BM doesn't see a problem.
SS7 has a very low self-esteem and constantly requires positive reinforcement. It's frustrating for DH and I to see him act like he does - he hits himself, talks badly about himself, always worries about what 'might' happen, thinks he is sick or will get sick, ect.
When he does a good job we are supposed to tell him so. Sadly when he does something wrong we also have to correct that and it's like the end of the world and no one loves him any more.