We have SD10 living with us full time, because her mom was in prison for a while, and we actually just moved 1000 miles away from where BM lives about 2 years ago. SD has adjusted to living here, but has a really tough time each time she comes home from visiting BM each summer, because I don't think she really understands why she can't live with her mom. It will come with time, but its a really rough transition each time. She bounces back fairly quickly - a week or two after she gets back she's happy and having a good time again. SD has made some friends here, some closer friends in the school district and she is in 5th grade. She does look forward to coming home to us to see these friends. Next year she will have to move schools to go to the middle school anyway.

My issue is this - DH and I are looking into buying our first house together, and SD is involved and excited about the idea, but I'm worried because the house we are looking at right now is in another town, meaning she'd have to come home from the summer with BM not to her friends but to a brand new school and new people. Her old friends will be in the next town over, so she can still see them on weekends and stuff, but I am worried she will be very unhappy for a while. Do you think 10 years old is too old to move to a new school? I just want to do what's best for her, but we have not really found anything in the same town we're living in right now. She is 10 but she has already started to go through puberty, so she already acts a little like a teenager. We have a good relationship, and the only hard times are when she comes back from her mom's. Once we move this time (we'd let her finish out 5th grade in her old school and just move her for 6th), we would stay put as long as we can. What do you all think? Based on the circumstances I'm just worried what moving her again would do to her, but we want to put some roots down!

Appreciate any advice in advance.