I totally feel this way. The thing is, when its your husband of your bio children, things like laundry, meals, house cleaning that I was doing did build resentment in me because I also worked full time - but not near as much in my second marriage.

Because now, I am doing all those things for 2 extra kids who are not even mind, add in the free babysitting, the expectation to treat them like my own but stripped of all authority, expected to just suck it up when the meals are complained about, the messes are left and cleanups are ignored when asked, driver to pick up or drop off someone elses kids... THAT builds resentment 10 fold.

I am a mom, when I decided to give birth to 2 children, I accepted the responsibility of more laundry, more meal prep, activities to attend and homework to be done, I also accepted the parenting role.

When I married my husband, I had assumed that he had made those same commitments to his children. I did not expect all of that to be just dumped on me and have any authority removed in the process.

Its an unfair expectation that the bio parent assumes ANYTHING regarding their children of their new partner when the bio-mother is active. PERIOD.

Have you tried adopting dr Phil's tone of voice? Makes a big difference.