As SM's or GF"s
Do you do the beauty stuff with your SD's? SO and I are not married but we live together and SD lives with us EOW. She is always needing something when she comes home because BM doesn't buy anything for her not one single thing. Now she is getting older and started shaving her legs, wearing a little makeup, using body sprays, wearing jewelry. All the girlie girlie stuff. My two bios girls went through all that and I made sure that I did all the firsts with them because it was important to me. Their dad's GF did stuff with them too but she always gave me the courtesy of asking if it was ok like hair cuts, pedicures, manicures. In case I wanted to have that experience with them first. We did really well with that stuff.
Now with SD she just expects to have all the beauty treatments that I get done almost as her right. I get my hair done, nails done, pedicures, eyelash extensions, waxing all on a regular basis. Geez typing all that out sounds like a lot lol. But now she comes home saying I need an appt for my hair or waxing or nails, pedicure etc etc. Now all that stuff except for her regular hair cuts she has never done before so I feel like her mom should take her. If her mom doesn't take her then she doesn't go till she can take herself and pay for it herself. Am I being fair here?? I let my girls get pedis,manis on speacial occasions only. They wore makeup when they were 16 and I took them to the beauty counter to get all the stuff they would need. They got regular hair cuts but didn't get any kind of coloring until HS and then their auntie did if for them for free she is a stylist. I didn't spend lots of money on beauty treatments for my kids. I don't know if its because she wants to be older or what but I don't think we need to foot the bill for it. What do you all think??
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Comments
Wow. Your SD sounds like she
Wow. Your SD sounds like she thinks she's entitled!
I pay for nothing for SD14.
I pay for nothing for SD14. She blew that by A. Stealing my makeup, B. Breaking my expensive hair straightener and C. Lying and conning me into buying her red nail polish even though her mother refused to allow her to wear it.
She gets shampoo/body wash/toothpaste and a brush at my house. Other than that, she's on her own.
Do what you are comfortable
Do what you are comfortable doing with her, or what you want to do with her. You didnt mention her age, but I would only be willing to do haircuts on a reg basis, pedi/mani's on occasion, and the waxing, etc. she can find a way to pay for and do on her own. I dont think teens need to be waxing, or tanning, or whatever they want.
My SD is almost 10, but I only do haircuts for her and occasionally a mani/pedi together. Nothing else. When she wants those things, she can talk to dad and he can pay for it if he allows it. I work for my $$, so I do those things for myself.
She does!! I don't know if
She does!! I don't know if its because of me or not. I mean she was brought up like a mini-adult princess. She thinks she and I are on the same level almost like if Newstep gets it then so do I mentality. A lot of comes from her BM but I squash her entitlement every time it rears its head with me. SO is a pushover though. The last couple of days he has been stronger but he is still weak.
Today for instance she got up in plenty of time but she "forgot" to make her lunch. So she texts SO about 20 times begging him to pick her up and take her to lunch. Which just so happens he and I were at lunch and he says well I don't want her to starve. I said really??? They have a cafeteria and if she forgot to pack her lunch then she just eats at the cafeteria. She isn't going to starve. I also pointed out why is she texting you when she isn't even supposed to be using her phone during school hours?? She hasn't even had her phone back for a week and already breaking the rules. If it was me I would take the damn phone for good but SO is a big pushover.
Yes and Yes!!! SO is a major
Yes and Yes!!! SO is a major puss when it comes to her he is getting better but he has a long way to go!!!
I guess I'm a little
I guess I'm a little different. I think all of those things are luxuries! I didn't get my first main pedi until I graduated college and was able to pay for it myself (which even now is a splurge for me)
What is really concerning, is that she is trying to be you. Did she know you guys were having lunch together? Definitely leaning towards the mini wife thing.
SD16 lives with us, BM has no
SD16 lives with us, BM has no custody so I end up taking SD for haircuts. If there is a special occasion like a big school dance I will take her to get her nails done.
Over the summer SD was actually spending time with BM. BM took her to get shellac on her nails. SD tried telling me that I need to take her every two weeks to have them done. I told her no way!! Get a job!!
As far as makeup, she doesn't like to ask me to buy it because I buy her the cheap crap knowing she will just lose it anyway. Somehow she gets money to get all these little things. I am thinking her grandmother is giving it to her.
I will buy her deodorant, pads, razors, shaving cream and stuff she needs.
BM pays no child support and does nothing to support this kid, so it all falls on DH.
I am not big into that stuff
I am not big into that stuff myself. I get my hair cut about once a month, and I wear makeup, but I don't get waxed, and I do my own mani/pedis. I do all that stuff at home, other than haircuts. We are custodial of SD10, so yes, she gets a haircut when my DD9 gets one. When we do mani/pedis, SD10 gets one too. My girls are too young to wear makeup. They have little make up cases with nail files, clippers, face moisturizer, hand cream, and lip balm. That is all I allow them to use at this time.
I don't take SD5 to get haircuts or any kind of treatments. We have 50/50, and haircuts are something that her BM is very particular about, so I just leave that to her. BM3 gives SD5 a lot of one on one attention, so usually she is already beautified when she gets here.
I wouldn't necessarily pay for SD to have a bunch of adult beauty treatments (nails, hair, etc). Her mom can take her to do it, and if not, oh well.
I am glad I pretty much in
I am glad I pretty much in line with everyone else. I just don't see that we have to provide all these "extras" for SD as her god given right. To me they are all EXTRAS that she can pay for herself or not get end of story. Other than her hair cut we aren't doing anything more unless its a special occasion or treat. IF her BM wants to provide it for her then she can pay for it.