The monsters they create
My brother's ex wife still calls him for help - more than 10 years later. He finally told her to stop, he wasn't her enforcer, they kids are they way they are because of her.
Here is the background. My brother and his 2nd ex wife have been divorced for 10+ years. They have 2 kids together a daughter 14 and a son 17. Custody says he gets the kids Every Other Weekend. Well the ex calls him all the time to 'come get' them because she has a date or they aren't listening to her, ect. And he goes and gets them because he wants to see them as much as he can.
My brother finally told her that the kids were old enough now if she wanted them out of the house just asked them to leave for a few hours, he is NOT their baby sitter, he is their father. If they want to come see him that is fine but he wasn't going to watch them for her like they are 5.
The 17 year old has a history of violence and has been arrested at least once for hitting his mother. the EX had called my brother many times because they were fighting to the point where my brother now just calls the cops to go break it up now. He says he is too old to get physical with him any more. The 17 year has admitted to his dad that he has no respect for his mother, he said she was stupid and he just can't communicate on her level (he is very smart).
The 14 year old was not the fave growing up and living in the shadow of her brother for a long time, until a few years ago when she realized that if her brother could talk to their mother like that then so could she. Now she has had the cops called on her for screaming at her mother, she runs off with her friends and has her tongue pierced.
Now years ago when the kids started acting up my Brother wanted to step in and correct them but the EX would not let him. When they were at his house and they got out of line, he came down on them, then they called their mother and she came and got them. Even the few times that the ex called him to her house because they were fighting, she wanted him to make the kids mind but as soon as he left they were back at it because she never changed.
My youngest SS5, I call him 'Monster'... And DH thinks it's cute (for now).
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IMO pretty bad. Last month
IMO pretty bad. Last month BM and Neice14 were supposed to go get their tongues pierced as a 'bonding thing' but BM chickened out but Neice14 did not. I have told My brother more than once that the kids need a mother not a best friend. They have no respect for her.
And we are pretty sure that the BM does drugs of some kind, not that we can prove it but she look awful.
Wow!!! That is a majorly
Wow!!! That is a majorly dysfunctional situation for sure! Good for your brother for FINALLY putting his foot down and telling BM that he is NOT the kids babysitter! What a POS she is for even thinking that and using him as such, but people only get away with what you ALLOW them to so shame on him too! I get that he wants to see his kids but I would never want or allow (yes I said allow
) my BF to EVER cater to BM like that...EVER!!!
Just because two people split doesnt mean that the NCP is the CP's babysitter and has to or should cater to them and THEIR needs/wants. Not all the time anyways.
Wow is all I can say about this...that is just crazy shit right there! I could never be with a man that was another woman's bitch like that...kids or no kids!
I hope your brother keeps on keeping BM in her place...
I am not sure how his current
I am not sure how his current wife puts up with it. his ex has called him for all sorts of odd stuff, once she even called him because she ran out of gas, the kids were in the car so of course my brother went to help her.
And yes it is just as much his fault as her, for not telling her no sooner. We share BM stories from time to time and I always tell him that he needs to put his foot down and how annoying it is from the 'other woman' stand point. I have told DH that I will not be the 'other woman' in our relationship. Our BM has a hubby that can deal with her/take care of her. My brothers BM has been through more than a few boyfriends but she always seems to have one so they can deal with her or get lost.
That is our BM to a T. She
That is our BM to a T. She wouldn't let my SO correct them bc they both had abusive parents and well whatever reason, she let them do what they wanted and SO wasn't allowed to discipline.
Now SS19 has been in jail for 1.5 years and SS13..almost..is about to be kicked out of his 2nd school bc he is out of control. If SO would try and smack his butt when he lived with us, he called Mommy and Mommy called the cops on SO and me.
You reap what you sow.
I think that is more or less
I think that is more or less why the split up. The kids were starting to get out of control and she wouldn't let him correct them, plus his ex started to think that he was cheating on her with the woman that he is now married to - but at the time they were just friends and co-workers (at his 2nd job working weekends that he had to take because the ex said they needed money). I know because I worked with them and they were not affectionate (that I could see) toward each other until awhile after the divorce. Me and my brother have a pretty open and honest relationship so he would have told me if he cheated (he has told me that he had an OPEN relationship with a woman were they both saw other people)