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For the record, I am NOT here to gather intel for an article I'm writing.

not-really-my-thing's picture

Submitted by not-really-my-thing on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 11:24am

I'm beginning to think few people here actually read the blogs, they just scan the titles and spew. Many of you have made a point of speculating or assuming that I am somehow using this place and all of you for something I'm writing.

To be clear: I am a writer by profession.

To be clear: I am not writing professionally, nor will I ever write professionally, on stepparenting. It's far outside my scope and expertise.

I do have a journalist's curiosity. I do learn by asking questions of those who know more about my subject than I do. That's why I'm here, asking all of you questions. And yet I continue to be accused of thinking I "have all the answers." I wouldn't be here if I did. I thought I was joining a genuine conversation but it seems that most of you come here to vent and console one another. That's terrific. I should have known what I was getting into from the name of the site itself.

I don't think this is a good fit for me. Again, thank you to all who have shared your thoughts. I've found them to be quite illuminating and helpful to me personally. Cheers!

Comments

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 11:40am

This site is worldwide. As with anything worldwide, you will get replies, opinions, & thoughts from people of all-types.

I have read your "question" blogs & I can't help but think that more people than just myself are open to considering the points you make.

I think it's nice to have someone bring in a "fresh" opinion or idea, because I think that many of us get caught up in the arguing & complaining & whoa-is-me frame of mind & I think it can be helpful to be reminded or suggested that there are other ways to look at things & that often, there are things we can do to help ourselves & make our situations better.

You do pose your questions in a way that is easy to jump to take offense to, but if those of us reading are willing to consider them with an open mind, & remember that like the rest of us, you are just another person in the world, we can choose not to take them offensively or personally.

Some do come here expecting only soothing confirming words of comfort. There are others who come here open to real constructive advice. It all comes down to weeding through what we get, taking what we find useful/wanted, & throwing the rest away.

ETA: It wouldn't matter if you WERE here for research. The title mentions stepparents specifically, but the FAQ states that anyone is welcome to post here. You are welcome to post what you want to & the rest of us are welcome to reply or ignore. Like anyone else, you will get some of both.

Pook's picture

Submitted by Pook on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 11:50am

NTMT, it would seem I owe you an apology. I sent you a message asking if you were writing an article; I had no idea that you would take offense or be upset by this as you are a very direct individual. I assumed if you weren't, you would just let me know versus it upsetting you so. Perhaps the manner in which I phrased my curiosity was not well crafted for you; I was perhaps too direct. I apologize.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 11:55am

Not trying to speak for NRMT, but wanted to say I doubt it was your inquiry alone that sparked this message, as I read a number of accusatory comments on her blogs regarding that very same idea.

Like any other site, we post here & have to be aware that the possibility is there, that we will receive feedback we weren't looking for. There are a number of hurt & frustrated people who post here. There are those looking for advice & those just looking for comfort.

We have to recongnize that we are all coming from different situations with different needs, take what we find useful & leave what we don't.

Pook's picture

Submitted by Pook on Fri, 08/24/2012 - 11:56am

I agree completely with you stormabruin. I also think we have to be ready that things we say may upset or offend people and that is just how it is going to be. As you said, sometimes someone just needs a virtual hug to get through the day, and sometimes concrete, actionable advice is requested. Either way, we all put ourselves and our vulnerabilities out here and have to be prepared for the responses we get and toss the ones that don't apply. Well stated.