First of all, you are not a heartless bitch! I am in total agreement with you on this. Your bedroom is for YOU AND DH!!! That is YOUR PERSONAL SPACE!!! You are allowed to have one room that is where you can relax and not have to have kids/people all up on you and in your business etc.

So true...if your man was SOOOO CONCERNED about spending time with his kids then he can go out to the living room to be with them. He is being incredibly rude, selfish, and inconsiderate of YOUR feelings. What a fuckiing putz!!!

In a blended family home a kid free zone for us is crucial, in imho. Stay strong on this...you will need it!

Yay! NO KIDS IN THE BEDROOM!

I don't think so.
When my kids were growing up we would sometimes hang out in our room. But it was occasionally. Mostly they would wake up and all come pile on the bed. It was fun sometimes.

Most of the time, in the house it's just me and my bf. He sleeps naked most of the time as do I a lot.

When sd12 is there I have to wear jammies. No biggie.

BUT she'll just walk in and without knocking. We've tried to correct this and it has helped some. I think it's more embarassing for her than us.

On the flip side of this, I'm super annoyed when sd12 just walks in while I'm trying to put on my makeup or change my shirt or while my bf is changing his shirt or putting on diff shoes. It's like she's afraid we're going to jump down the black hole in our closet or something. No..... dddddaaaaaaddddddyyyyyy!!!! Where is my ddddaaaaaddddyyyyyy???
He's fallen down the black hole in the closet!!! OMG it happened so quickly! Call Ghostbusters!!!!

That is my humor to destress myself!!!

I hang out in my room a lot. Well, it's bc the little brat princess has usurped my spot on the sofa. If I'm in the living room I have to sit on the love seat with my tiny dog.
And if that is the case, we might as well go to our room where we have our own sitting chair.

In your case, I do not think you are wrong. I think it your spouse has an issue.. then he needs to be the one to GO spend time with the sweaty little grubby paw brats in the livingroom. Not in your room. That is your space and your retreat.

Not for them. I wonder, why the heck does he keep coming in there to get away from them??? lol.

You have to have your own space for the love of god. Tell him to watch TV in the living room and let them crawl all over him on the couch.

This is so funny because I just had to have a refresher with DH about this issue yesterday!! He is a stay at home Dad, and when he and SD7 moved in we had to set up some basic household rules. No kids in the bedroom was one of the first! But I know he is not holding up his end of the bargin because SD7 uses our room as a detour to the bathroom almost everyday! (We have a small house with a Jack and Jill bathroom between the two bedrooms). So I remind her, and him almost everyday that our room is NOT a place for kids! I feel like this is pretty common, and I even remember growing up that we did not go into our parents bedroom, without asking. Everyone deserves a little personal space. It's not like your asking them to leave the family room when you watch tv, or telling them they can't be on the porch with you!! IT is after all, YOUR room!! Def stand your ground on this one. Your man can and should go into the family room to spend time with his kids if he wants to.

Bedrooms should be off limits to kids. Bios or Skids. My Bio LOVES to use our shower. I tell him all the time to stop using my bathroom, but he LOVES the rainshower tile and that's why he's in there. I intend to install a really cool shower head in their bathroom so they can stay out of mine. I don't like SD in my room. She has sticky fingers and I don;t trust her in my room.

Nay, when mine were little if they snuck in our room exh sent them back unless they were sick. Neither mine or his come in without knocking and getting a "come in" we've both been like that so it was never an issue (though right after my seperation both mine slept in my bed for a week then I kicked them oit told them they were to old and I would be fine in bed alone)

I'm torn on this one.. first how old are your skids? I think that older skids hanging out in the bedroom is creepy. But younger??? Like our BS2 will come in our bedroom if we are upstairs on the computer or something, but he never hangs out on the bed, and he usually only cares about being in the room for no more than 5 minutes... after all there is nothing for him to do in there. He would much rather be in his room or the living room or outside.

I don't EVER remember hanging out in my mom/step dad's bedroom. Don't know if they made it off limits or if they didn't need to, because the LAST place I wanted to be was hanging out with my parents.

Our bedroom is off limits to the skids. Bs3 is allowed to come and go as he pleases, but his bed is in our room (skids have both of the other bedrooms) so it really is his bedroom too.

Dh was the one to make the bedroom off limits to the skids and I completely agree. But I am 100% fine with my BIOS being in there.

NO kids in our bedroom. They can come in and ask a question, if they knock first. Otherwise, no. They have rooms, and if DH wants to spend time with his kids, go in the living room. This room is the ONLY privacy I get in the house and I am not sharing it with the skid. We have had arugments about this and I am not giving in on this issue.

No kids in our bedroom either! Only reason to go in there is if 1 of the skids is in their bathroom and the other needs to go to the bathroom. Otherwise, not happening. I hang out in our bedroom when skids are here, I hate watching the shows they watch so I do my own thing in our bedroom. Sometimes DH will join me if he wants to nap on the weekends. Otherwise, they have their rooms and the living room where they can hang out.

No skid in our room either. That is your personal space. You don't hang out in their rooms, why should they hang out in yours?

You're not heartless, your BF is a douche for not having the backbone to back you up.

Stay strong. If he continues to resist, if your skids have their own rooms, make them share and then take up residence in the other one. Decorate it to suit you and put a lock on it. }:)

Our rule was they could knock and come in to talk to us. If the door was closed, they don't. Doesn't always work...But, they can not sit on our bed. This deters them from staying and that is our bed....

They are never allowed to use our bathroom....No pics of kids in the room either....

i grew up in a traditional Mom / Dad / sibing family. and we were not allowed in my parents room to "hang out"... ever! night-time, daytime, alone, with my parents whenever.

their room was Private. (not that they did anything weird in there or anything) but it was Theirs! if the door was closed you KNOCKED. never just barged in.

movie / tv family time was in the living room.

in retrospect, i guess this is one reason why they were never "caught in the act" by me and my siblings - LOL

I was single for many years. My bedroom was open to the kids whenever they wanted.

However…when I married 3 years ago…I told them that was over. It was now my room and DH’s room.
So we talked to ALL kids..bio and step and told them that our room was just for us.

This is meant to be funny: we were just recently on Vaca with my DD & skids. During Vaca they had a whole "kids wing" to the condo. I was in me & DHs bedroom chilling out between activities. DH came in as well to escape the loudness of the 4 kids. I started noticing SS13 would want to come in & lay on the bed with DH & I. Then I noticed the other boys trying to creep in as well. Heck no!!! Nope. Not gonna happen. They have their side of the condo to "chill" in. It's also the same at our house. They have their own spaces & our bedroom is off limits to them all.

So... I decided I'd have to do something as it was day 2 of an 8 day Vaca!! So when SS13 came in & jumped on the bed- I said- ummm I don't think ya wanna lay on this bed sweetie. He said why, so I said "cause your dad & I have sex here, on this bed!!! Omg u should've seen the look on his face & I personally didn't know he could move soooo fast!!! Hahahajaha. But ya know what? It worked!!!!

Now in all seriousness: no!! Our bedroom is off limits!!! To all kids!! Don't back down on this one. You two need your own personal space. Perhaps when little Johnny is trying to encroach you should lean into DH & whisper in DHs ear "ewww don't you remember what you & I did in that exact spot last night where little Johnny is sitting"? He should get kinda grossed out & want the kids to leave your lair!!!

No kids in our room here! You aren't heartless.

The skids used to be able to go in and out of the bedroom as they pleased. When Imoved in I put a stop to that. They've been trained well. They don't step past the threshhold of the door unless they are invited in or ask to come in and are given permission.

It's the one place out of the whole house where we can be alone.

No way!! I don't let SD15 in my bedroom. That is where I hide everything from her and that is my hiding spot!! Every once in a while she will follow DH in there if they are talking and all I see are her eyes darting around the room looking at what she can steal when I am not home!!

I do allow BD4 in my room though.

No kids in the bedroom!!! I keep my door locked after SD15 stole a pair of my underwear!!!!!!!

There's good reason for it being labeled "Mom & Dad's bedroom" & NOT "family room" or "community room" or "gathering room" or "play room".

If he doesn't want to push them away when they come in to spend time with him, he can spend time with them in the kitchen, the living room, or outside in the yard.

Taking some for yourself in a space that was intended for your privacy is not pushing them away. It's all about boundaries...something EVERY child needs to be taught to respect.

DH and I used to allow the kids in our bedroom until they decided to trash our room one time when they were supposed to be watching a movie and laying on our bed. Instead they threw the $300.00 comforter that I had bought on the floor, went through the drawers in both of our night stands, moved my nik naks around, tied our robe ties to table legs and dresser handles. They pretty much completely trashed our room.

That's when I put my foot down. It they can't respect our things and our space then fine. They don't need to be in our room. My BD's pretty good about it. She won't come in unless she has permission. SD on the other hand will just come barging in without knocking if the door is closed or just walk in if it's open. I really need to work on that one. She claims to have forgotten but I think that if there's an actual consequence for doing it, that just might help her to remember.

I hear ya, I hate that clinging stuff. Guess since its not my kid it bothers me more. Regardless, its annoying as hell. I have literally locked everyone, including DH, out of the bedroom when they forget. Its the only peace I seem to get anymore.