SD 12 becoming increasingly clingy to her Dad
Ever since I have become pregnant, my SD's behavior has become increasingly unpredictable and annoying. At first, I felt sorry for her, but now I am just becoming increasingly annoyed. This may be mostly because I am eight months pregnant and my patience is a little thinner these days.
As said in my previous blogs, SD is not a big fan of the baby. In fact, she has cried to her dad many times about not wanting the baby. Now it seems like she is becoming increasingly clingy to her Dad and its really starting to be annoying. We share custody with her mom, who lives a few miles away, and usually this works out good because she gets to spend time at both houses frequently. But lately, she is wanting to stay with us ALL the time. I hate to admit this, but frankly, I need a break. We have had her for several weeks in row now, and she never wants to go over to her mom's. The other night she finally did, and I was like wonderful, DH and I have one night to ourselves, and then she calls at 7:30pm wanting to come back over! The strangest part is that her mom does not seem bothered at all by the fact that she never wants to come over there.
Even stranger, she never wants to call her friends or play outside or do anything but be up my DH's butt all day, every day. Thank goodness she is going to her Grandma's this week, but she still was all like, "I don't want to go, I will miss you too much Daddy." :sick:
I just don't think this is normal behavior, and yes I know someone will tell me yes, it's because she feels threatened by the baby, and "give her time" but I feel like it's almost like she wants to "make sure" that my DH and I don't have any time alone. Can a 12 year old be this manipulative? Her regressing to this infantile behavior is driving me nuts.
- 2ndclasscitizen's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
No, its not normal and yes it
No, its not normal and yes it may be the pregnancy. It also may be the pre-teen/teen competitiveness with smom that some SD's start. Mine started around 12-13. It got really obvious at 14 and has stayed steady since. She's 16 now.
I'm 8 months along too! When are you due?
SD16 hasn't been too involved pregnancy wise. She's very self centered. I am really wondering what is going to happen once the baby is here and she can't have all dad's attention. She is already struggling that she shares attention with her brother a lot more than she used to, SS13.
Im due August
Im due August 25th........can't wait.....being pregnant in the summer is no fun! My SD is extremely self-centered as well and spoiled. I am worried that when the baby gets here, she is just going to be worse, make her Dad and everyone else around her feel sorry for her by crying hysterically, and then my DH will feel guilty and cater to her every whim........and have no time or energy left for our baby.
I just remember at 12 that I wanted to be active during the summer and doing stuff with my friends...........I don't understand my SD's increasingly antisocial behavior and laziness.
I know it's terrible, but my hope is that once the baby gets here she won't want to stay with us as much, we shall see.
I'm due Aug 14th. The summer
I'm due Aug 14th. The summer is rough where I am too. Not to mention my body is just done!
My SD is spoiled, well beyond spoiled. She's been playing good daughter for the last week to get on dad's good side again (got in trouble recently) so she kept trying to talk to me and be all in to the baby. I know what is going to happen when baby gets here. She will get jealous, I also suspect she may try to play a bit of a mom role in which she will be shut down quick.
I didn't understand the antisocial behavior and laziness either, but after a while I figured out... the antisocial part is because if they aren't the center of the social group, they want nothing to do with it. All their "friends" are stupid and wrong. SD goes through phases of hanging out with a bunch of her loser friends, to separating from them because they are all beneath her. She needs to be queen bee. The laziness comes from the fact that she's always been kept. No one made her do anything for herself. Waited on and coddled.
SO still cleans her room at our house.
SD16 has perfected victim playing. I get what you are saying. If you don't point it out, let your DH deal with it, he may eventually start seeing her for what she is. I never thought mine would, but he is seeing it more and more. He hasn't changed completely and doesn't deal with her the way I think he should, but he definitely see's her more for what she is now. He gets very frustrated with her, but his tolerance level is way above mine.
I thought the same thing, maybe once baby is here, maybe once she does xyz she won't want to be here. Honestly, the only reason I think my SD comes is so dad will buy her things and because she's jealous of the attention that SS13 gets from dad. SS13 is way different from his sister. Hard worker, considerate, respectful and contributes to the house when he's with us. Very responsible.
Sounds to me like she feels
Sounds to me like she feels threatened by the new baby and her ‘position’ in the family dynamic… that coupled with the crazy hormonal changes that are going on she’s bound to be driving you out of your mind
Not saying that the behavior is “normal” but it’s not really surprising
(my kid is 13 and is showing some of the same disinterest in the things she used to like… I was thinking of taking her to see a counselor… she may be going thru a bit of depression)
A 12yo girl does not want to
A 12yo girl does not want to have a baby with Daddy.
She wants to BE the baby, not have one.
He does have to deal with the cling-on daughter by forcing her off him. SD needs to learn that she is going to be okay despite the birth of a half-sibling.
Yeah, I agree with stepmisery
Yeah, I agree with stepmisery that she wants to be the "baby." This would explain her recent behavior of clinging to her dad like a small child, and carrying around a stuffed animal and blanket with her everywhere she goes. I don't think she is too happy that im having a girl either.......I will keep everyone posted.
FDH and I talked openly with
FDH and I talked openly with the kids about wanting to have a child some day and FSD15 got watery eyes and literally said she wants to be the baby and she doesn't want anyone taking away from her christmas presents :jawdrop:
She's 15 not 5. I wanted to slap her
I think it is normal. I am
I think it is normal. I am going through the same thing. I am a new mom of a 10 month old and my SD is 12. She threw a fit when we told her we just wanted to have kids. Screaming and Crying. It was horrible. I understand how she felt, but from my perspective it was very difficult. She has a brother at her mom's house, but with her dad, she has always been an only child.
Like with you, my SD will never leave my husband's side. And I feel that she doesn't want us to have any alone time. She also doesn't want to play with friends when she is here. We go swimming quite a lot and instead of playing with the older kids, she is always right next to DH. I told him about this today and he said that after I went back to the house, she was fine. BINGO! She just doesn't want us to be near each other.
This may be crazy, but I also feel like she wants to take my son away from me - okay, not exactly TAKE from me. But I feel that now that he is here, she loves him, and wants my son to love her more. When we go places, she wants to be the one to carry him, while she is RIGHT NEXT TO DH. Unless I speak up, I am forced to walk behind them. LIke I don't even matter. It has become about the 3 of them, and I am pushed to the side.