should i break down and ask or should he offer to tell me
My husband informed me last night that his daughter had to go to the emergency room yesterday morning. He did not tell me until last night and I really feel that this is one of those things he could have called me about as soon as he found out...which was around lunch yesterday.
She was running a high fever and stomach aches.
Well, come to find out she went to gymnatics last night and practiced and also had a friend spend the night and she had been in the er that morning.
I know this is terrible in me but I dont even want to ask how she is doing becasue obviously he didnt care that I was the last one to know.
I just really feel like he has this secert communication going on with his ex and they only tell me what they want me to hear.
Of course I dont want her to be sick, but if they dont care to tell me then why should I care to even ask.
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Are you disengaged? If so,
Are you disengaged? If so, why do you care? If not, maybe you should be?
Ive tried it all! Im damned
Ive tried it all! Im damned if I do and damned if I dont. I disengaged and then was told that I did not show his daughter enough attention-I was ignoring her. I told him no, but I am not her parents and it doesnt matter what I think because again I am not her parent so Im not waisting my breath. He didnt like that.
Really, he tells me what he wants and leaves our other parts. its like a game! They are all weird including my husband at times.
Trying, Of course I dont want
Trying,
Of course I dont want her to be sick, but if they dont care to tell me then why should I care to even ask.
This is me. That statement. This is how I became disengaged. Because I was engaged, and left out all the time. Its like I was on a need to know basis and most of the time was left not needing to know - or so it seemed. Yet DH wanted me to perform like MOTY somehow.
I would go round and round in my head with statements like the one you wrote - they don't want me to care, I am not an unfeeling person so of course I'd like to know what is going on - I don't wish bad things for the skids but I am left out all the time.
Today - and it took a long time - but today I am disengaged, I would be semi curious but I wouldn't care anymore. DH made me this way by keeping me at arms length when it comes to his kids.
To this day I do not ever get shown report cards, told about appt outcomes, things like that emergency thing you mentioned, changes in plans - I am simply not informed but expected to know.
Hate it - but have learned to start caring less - I am working on making myself less available.
Thank you for your
Thank you for your comment....helps to know I am not alone
Eh, she's obviously fine
Eh, she's obviously fine since she was at gymnastics and then had a friend over. I personally wouldn't ask.
Same here Same here. Thanks
Same here Same here. Thanks for the obvious anwser...she must be fine...gymnastics and company! ha
^^^^^^^^AGREE
^^^^^^^^AGREE 100%^^^^^^^^^
plus, i wouldn't really care, it would just be pure curiousity.. and since she's obviously fine, i would not be able to stop the "we must take her to the er" after every cough/sneeze/hiccup. but i'm like that.... i don't produce drama, but i sure as hell make fun of it at all costs.. i don't recommend it to others.
>>>i would not be able to
>>>i would not be able to stop the "we must take her to the er" after every cough/sneeze/hiccup. but i'm like that....<<<
Me too...such fun.