Oh-yeah, and don't forget to post about how things are now and how these skids act towards any adult figure.

I'm going to have a crybaby moment here but regardless of what I tell him about his kids he never listens. It takes his BD embarassig the sh!t out of him less than a month ago in front of his parents and them telling both him and me that she's out of control and we need to fix her bahavior fast before he finally went to the extreme even though I've been telling him this for over a year. It just really blows my mind. And then he compares her behavior to his when he was kid. Um........apprently you weren't as bad as her because your mother is coming to me telling me she thinks that she's out of control. It just blows my mind. I'm half tempted to just completely disengage and he can raise his kids to his liking. Seems to be going good so far right? Yeah.....not so much. Let me give you some examples of some of the behavior I have witnessed with his daughter over the last six months:

1.) Telling DH that she has bad thoughts about stabbing us with a knife while we are dancing naked in the living room. (Just doing it to get attention. But what 7 year old says that.)

2.) Letting another little neighbor girl touch her on her privates and then touching her back.

3.) Being completely disrespectful to her grandmother, grandfather, and great grandmother.

4.) Prancing around the kitchen at her grandmother's house with her shirt tied in the back using a hair thing shaking her butt back and forth and asking DH's mother and I if we think that she's sexy.

5.) Making up lies about me to try and get DH and I to fight.

6.) Getting in trouble at school because she won't listen to the teacher or the duties.

7.) Kicking another little girl at school after she stomped all over her jacket and then kicked her backpack.

8.) Intentionally trying to get my BD sick with strep.

9.) Invading other peoples space when she knows she is not supposed to do so.

10.) Anybody she "forgets" that she is not supposed to put her hands on accidentallu get hurts pretty much everytime.

I'll stop there but I can assure you that this list can go on and on.

Guess what DH? It drives me crazy when you never listen to me and things have to get so out of hand before you finally take the necessary steps to resolve the issue. And it pisses me off that I can tell you something over and over again and you won't listen but heaven forbid your mother is disappointed in her grand daughter for the same behavior that I have been trying to tell you about for over a year. You'd better do something to fix it now that she's said something and brought it to your attention.

Number one on that list he's so embarassed about he won't even tell his parents about it. Why is that? I'm not sure

Here's the thing. He tells them no. He just doesn't see how these little kid behaviors get out of hand if not addressed when they first start. I've asked him before, when is it the right age to parent? 5, 6, 7? When they're so out of control that your family is embarassed. And I'm not talking about basic parenting. I'm talking about doing what it takes to fix certain behaviors that undesired by the world tha tcould have been fixed had they just been taken care of when they first started to appear in earlier childhood.

You should have heard his excuse tonight of why it's so much harder to punish SS. It's because his the youngest and that makes it harder because he's the littlest of all of the kids. Really? So you don't correct bad behavior or you let it slide because he's little and then address it when he gets bigger and hope it changes? That's just nuts. It's just a cop out because SS is his favorite. And we're planning on having a child together. Um......no. Not if you're going to let bad behavior slide because our baby will be the littlest. I don't raise my kids that way and I don't come up with BS excuses of why I'm failing a a very crucial part of parenting.

Don't get me wrong. Having fun with your kids is important but our main role is raising them to be adults. SS's future boss is not going to care that he's the youngest. If you can listen and folloe direction then that person will find someone who can. But what do I know. I just need to suck it up and drive on and when the kids are completely out of control when they are teens then we can blame it on the BM. Sounds good right. The sad thing is he's not doing anyone of us any favors with his ,"he's the youngest," mindset. Guess what? He's always going to be the youngest. That will never change. So what now DH?

Yep. He pretty much called me a cry baby phoenixgem89. And now he's sitting out in the living room while I'm in the bedroom probably thinking about how justified he is and how horrible I am. He actaully tried to make a comment about my BD's behavior tonight about how she yells at him. (We hardly have any trouble with her.) And I flat out told him that I have never seen her yell at him other then when he messes with her until she's either going to cry or scream at him. He thinks that pushing her to that point is funny. And yes it's stupid stuff like telling her his going to buy her some girly outfit (she's a tom boy) but he keeps at it when he knows she's getting mad because it makes him smile. I've had to jump in several times and tell him to leave her alone but if I leave the room he just starts on her again. And then he has the balls to bring that up. He's grasping at straws for an excuse.

I have watched his son scream at him and call (yell it at him) him names on numerous occasions just because he asked him to do something that he doesn't want to do or he got in trouble for doing something that he wasn't supposed to do and then turn around and stomp off and not even get in trouble for it. When I brought that up this evening is when he brought up that BS about my daughter as his counter to that.

I did a lot of thinking last night and the conclusion that I came up with is to just disengage. I want no part of how his lack of parenting is going to mess his kids up. He tried to apologize this morning by telling me he was grumpy last night but I wasn't having it. He also tried to tell me that he does everything that I ask of him which I called BS on. Who was the one who finally got sick of SS's lack of listening and respect yesterday morning and enforced a punichment? Well that would be me. Who was the one who jumped and told DH you already asked him. You shouldn't have to keep on asking or yell at him to get him to listem? Oh, well, that was me again. Who has been the one who has told DH that there is something wrong with his BD and that he shouldn't let her treat him so disrespectfully and to not argue with because she is 7!!! Me again. No it takes her being completely out of control and disrespectful to his entire family and then he wants to do something about it.

I'm just f!ucking sick of it. If he wants his kids to out of control little power hungry little kids. That's fine. He can also do their laundry, makes their beds, clean their rooms, clean their bathroom when they are here with us every other week, and every thing else that goes with cleaning up after them and guess what I'll do? I'll keep my mouth shut and won't point out potential behavior that can get realy bad when they are teens. I think that I would be a lot happier and quite frankly I really don't care at this point what he thinks. I will not go through my marriage with someone who refuses to notice and rectify bad behavior. I'm tiered of his excuse after excuse of why it's so hard to punish. No more. I may not be able to get him to listen to me about his kids but I can remove myself from the situation and watch him crach and burn.

I'll do what needs to be done for the kids but no more than that. I'll make sure that when they're in school that I get them up, get them fed, and get them to school on time. But that pretty much it. I'll take no part in raising out of control little kids and then banging my head up against a wall trying to get DH to see that their's a problem.

I told him for over a year that his BD need to some professional help. Didn't listen, didn't listen, didn't listen. Well guess what. She's getting help now. It only took her telling her father she has bad thoughts about stabbing the both of us while we're dancing naked in the living room. And that's how progress is made in our happy little home. Ignore, ignore, ignore and then oh sh!t. I wonder how these kids are going to turn out. Any guesses?