Hi all,

I'm new here. I have two skids, sd13 and sd14 been married 6 years.I think I'm an okay stepmom. Since they have been around me I have never ever yelled at them a day in my life. When they are here in our home on the weekends and during the summer they pretty much can do what they want as long as they ask. I leave it to their father to make and enforce the rules. He doesn't so I don't bother and when they do something he doesn't like I remind him that he refuses to parent. He wants me to do his dirty work and is persistent in asking me to make sure they don't do xyz and I won't. I feel since he and the mother thinks I shouldn't be involved in certain things that I shouldn't be involved at all. I only do for me and dh kids whether the skids are here or not. I do extra things for sd14 though, she is amazing really nice kid. Sd13, ugh no,I act like she is not even here. I'll get to that later.

Sd13 is a snot.Yes, I know she is a kid,but the truth is the truth. She is purposefully hurtful and I am certain she knows what she is doing and is betting on her dad believing that "she is just a kid" to justify her behavior. Too bad I don't buy that theory from anyone with a kid over 10. My being nice to her resulted in her trying harder to be gum on my shoes. She can't stand me for reasons I can't figure out. I don't like her at all anymore and there is no motivation in me to foster a relationship.I must admit it took awhile to get to this point. I didn't always feel like this but she made it clear every chance she got that I shouldn't be with her father and that she did not like me. She played me and her mother against each other who in the beginning was a great woman to me. Fine. I guess she thought that I would respond like some sm who try to figure out why and constantly press for the skids to like them. Ha noooo.I was just sick of it and her acting like I wronged her, she thoroughly enjoyed acting like I was invisible so it was time to turn the tables.Much to her surprise I completely disengaged. After 2 years of me ignoring her and only paying attention to me and dh kids together and sd14,it finally hurt, I think. She is depressed because her plan for me to beg failed miserably which I'm sure would not have resulted in a relationship anyway. Anyway, boo freaking hoo,I don't care, she did it to herself. I feel there are skids out there who would have loved how nice I was as their current sm or sd are butt holes. At this point when she comes over she stays in that dark room all day long. We barely see her most days. Because I do have a heart in the beginning of her doing this, I asked dh to see what was wrong with her. He said she feels that she wants to live with us now. Whaattt?!?! I can not tell, she is gloom and doom when she is here and as soon as mommy dearest shows up its like the sun came out. All happy and what not. I called bull on that, I do not want her to live here at all honestly, but its his kid and I won't get in the way.I honestly think she's trying to get a reaction out of me. And to prove my point, to my freaking dismay today my bd 2 comes waltzing out of sd13 room with a bloody pad. :sick: I threw it away and wash bd2 hands about 1,000 times.Ten minutes later bd 2 comes again with another, ew wtf.Again discard and wash bd2 hands. I go in the room to see what the world is happening cause there isn't a bathroom in there or a trash can.Would you believe this brat is harboring these nasty things, about 30 of them soaked in her night bag rather than throwing them in the trash like a human being.Before she went into "depressed mode" which I think is all an elaborate act that deserves an Emmy,she was not doing this. Her closet smells like a dead person and I can't believe she holds herself up in there all day.I told her dad and he said maybe that she was embarrassed to throw them away. Oh really? I informed him that this crap is new and she was not doing this a month ago.I informed him that he better be a parent and tell her to cut the crap and act like a normal person. He then defends this cry for attention by saying the good ol' she's just a kid she doesn't know. He wants me to talk to her about this, I do not want to, I don't care, this is a one time occasion I've gone in her room with her here. Since she's taking it all home on Monday, it's not my problem. Let her roll around in the stench. I will just open the closet and windows when she leaves. Everything I say to her ends up with her on the defense anyway even if I did it with a smile and candy so why bother. I am just so sick of her making everybody uncomfortable with her sadness and her dad having to constantly figure out wth is wrong with her everyday to only hear "Idk". And better yet, her dad always asking me what I've done to her. Wtf, seriously,get over yourself sd13 there are 5 other kids in the house besides yourself, act normal and life will be better.I am here, and here to stay so you better get used to me and find a way to like me. You will be an adult in about 5 years with your own life and again I will still be right here. I am very patient and this crap you are pulling isn't going to work.Ugh, vent over.