Thanks for the Advice!
This is regarding my previous blogs on fdh's "talk" with SD8. I ended up speaking with SD and just told her that I heard some of what her dad said to her and that it wasn't very nice. I told her that I do care about her and am not planning on leaving. She then asked about why I didn't want to watch her by myself and I told her that I like it better when the parents work during the day and everyone is home together at night. No need to tell her that watching her by myself makes my anxiety go up and that she drives me crazy sometimes. I did however tell fdh that I would be willing to watch her 2 nights/week, but no more. I am not the bio parent, therefore, I should not have to take on the main childcare responsibilities.
SD took our talk well and seemed happy about what I said. Things with fdh have gone well over the past couple of days and SD has been telling both of us she loves us...I just hope another blow-up like the previous one never happens again!
Thank you all who commented on my previous blogs and gave me advice on how to address the issue with SD!
- StarStuff's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
shame on him. Everyone drives
shame on him. Everyone drives someone crazy..but we don't get the luxury of telling them that all the time. He should not have handled the situation that way. It was manipulation on his part.
Toward his daughter and you.
I would've been very angry with him for that stunt. And we would have had a come to jesus meeting!!
I'm glad you talked to her, it sounds like you were able to repair some of the damage that he did.
I hope it helped! The poor
I hope it helped! The poor thing has already been through so many ups and downs when she was with BM to have to worry about the same things with us.
Glad it went well. Didn't
Glad it went well. Didn't follow up on what you may have said to DH about what you overheard...but that was a terrible thing he did.
A SD can drive you MAD...I have had one for almost 16 years...believe me. However...I would have NEVER tolerated DH saying such things to his own kid.
Hopefully she will settle in. No matter how much my SD can drive me nuts...she still knows I am the one who will always make sure she stays in line. We butt heads, yes...and I think she is the laziest gal on Earth...but...I do have to say she has thanked me and recognized what I ALONE have done for her...maybe your SD will see this in you, too.
I believe she already does.
I believe she already does. She has thanked me several times for all I do for her over the past year, which surprised me since she's only 8 - but in a good way, of course!
I am so happy that your talk
I am so happy that your talk went well! I think you hit the important things and established that you aren't leaving which is what was the thing she needed to hear the most
Yeah, she smiled and said
Yeah, she smiled and said "yay!" when I told her I had no plans to leave. I'm sure she was wondering if I was just gonna walk out the door one day. So I think that our talk helped reasure her.
Did you ever address it with
Did you ever address it with your H??
We spoke about it. I won't go
We spoke about it. I won't go into all the details, but the main points were that he needs to handle his anger and frustration in a different way and that some of the things he said/did were totally inappropriate (the part that I relayed here). He agreed with me and knows that he was out of line. So that's a start, at least he's not in denial and thinks that what he did is acceptable.