I would tell him this is eating away at any respect and deep feelings you have for him. I tend to agree that this will not happen overnight. It will take time to retrian her to not be so impulsive and be more repsonsible for herself. Put it this way, if we threw you into Paris, France would you be a ble to find your way around without setbacks or missed turns?
This girlchild has had a lifetime on being treated this way.

This being said, he moves out or into another room and he is solely repsonsible for his daughter. Revert to room-mate staus (with no benefits!) If he cannot change her behaviour by the time school goes back then all deals are off and he is out. (make it the return to school date for the earliest school in your household).

He cooks and cleans for her. You do nothing. He can have a TV in his part of the house although moving him out for a couple of months would be preferable. He needs a timeframe. No kisses, hand holding. If you go out with friends you go in separate cars. He respects your privacy and you respect his. No peeking at each other in the shower! He needs to get the message that he is solely responsible for getting his daughter to game up and wean her off him.

If he has the task completed prior to school going back then he gets husband privileges reinstated. Right now his day is full of Daddy Duty. He may need to experience what he misses when it is within armsreach.

And have a word to his daughter. Tell her she ruined adult time for her father.

I know you guys have talked about this a hundred times but have you just out right told him that HE is the problem!! IF he loved you as much as he says then he needs to grow a pair and show it!! His daughter is just trying to come between you two and he is letting her. It's not that she has so many issues, she has one! She wants ALL of daddies attention and she will do/use anything in her power to get it. And it has worked with him. He is not helping her at all. She will never have a relationship with anyone, her mother, a boy, a friend, no one until DH puts a stop to it. It seems he thinks he is helping but he is not. He really needs to talk to a counselor that will help him see that tough love is needed here. He will never get you or any other woman to ever put up with this bull crap with her. If she has that many issues i mean for real issues then she needs to be in some behavior health clinic somewhere getting some real help. She needs to be on meds. She needs more than just seeing a therapist occasionally. What she is doing is not normal, so either it's all put on or she really does need more than just a therapist.

I am sorry Daisy. That sucks.

He is not showing you that you are a priority to him. All he does is show that his daughter is running the show.

I am all for making amends but you can not be the only person putting an effort into this relationship.

Again I am sorry (((hugs)))

I would disconnect his cell phone.

This is one of the reasons I hate this 24/7 connectedness. I find myself doing it! I call my daughter and if she doesn't return my call in a few mins I get aggitated and then kick myself. I mean, 30 yrs ago when most of us were young and the others not even born ( :jawdrop: ) we left a message or kept calling on a landline. Eventually we caught up with the person.

Now we have created an instant generation where to be in touch is required and expected and not a privilege.

im so sad for you...

Daisy....... I am so sorry. Do not text him back. I know how hard this will be. But he NEEDS to know you are serious. And you will not BEND on this. I only hope one day I have the courage you have had these past months. I will say much prayers for you tonight.

The definition of crazy is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result each time......

"actions speak louder than words"