OMG, she treats him like a high school boyfriend.

Seriously there is a problem here. He is clueless.

I like to think that I'm close to my DH, but I don't text him more than once a day. Most days we don't get a phone call or text in during our work day. We say goodbye in the morning & hello again in the evening, & we function really well.

It's not a stage. It's obsessive & possessive & he's in denial.

She needs to find something to occupy her time.

I guess it strokes his ego. And that my friends is really what this is all about!!
Seriously, the hanging on the daddddddyyyyy's, the texts, the continuous need for constant attention.

If you were getting something out of this, you'd shut down the behavior immediately. I will say that on some level his daughter's behavior is a huge flattery to his wilting ego.

Well, baby girl needs to grow up and focus on what other 16 year old girls focus on ....school and boys and the mall!!! If she's sending him 20 texts by dinner then I think there is a definite issue and how can she have time to be doing things that a normal teen does?
Daisy, I just keep praying that this isn't me in 3 more years. sd12 almost 13 is clingy mostly only when she is at the our house. Other than that she really doesn't have much to do with her dad...unless she wants something.
I keep telling myself that after sd12 graduates high school.. things will be better. We plan to move out of state.
When I read these posts, it just makes me feel that my plans are going to suck it in the end!!
I don't know how you keep a straight face when he's telling you this crap!! Just a stage.. yeh, when they are 2, it's a stage!! Not 16!

How he can't see how twisted this is, is just beyond me!!

It's funny that all she wanted was to get him alone with her and you out of the picture.

You have arranged this for a while for things to get better and she is still doing all the weird texting?

It is not normal. 16 year old girls do not feel that much affection for their daddys! Gross!

Kinda funny that DH sent you to look through his phone for a "funny joke"...obviously he wanted you to see these texts.

Watch out, because next it will be how badly they have to move back because of all her ailments...like this obsessive texting...

Some people just have no boundaries. It is weird and creepy. I've never ever told my dad I loved him and missed him that many times. My dd's dont tell their dad that-even when they were away from him for extended amounts of time. Even if the girl had a boyfriend, or best friend-it would be inappropriate to text i miss you, i love you messages that often.

I agree with the others-that this should be an opportunity for your dh to teach her a life lesson. She smothers people-she will alienate all the people in her life if she smothers them like she does him. By not telling her it's too much, he is making her think this is how you relate to people and it's normal.

It would also be good for him to teach her how to amuse herself and well, um, get a life. Instead of texting him 20 times she could be doing so many other productive things-working, studying, reading, cleaning, making new friends-whatever. If my kids texted me like that-I'd tell them to cut it out.

THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

I DO believe this falls under what is called "father-daughter emotional incest"
Please google it - I've realized that a lot of problems I see her on ST with father-daughters
clingy grossness have to do with this.

check it out, it's enlightening

When I was 5 I wanted to marry my Daddy because he was the only man in the world who would take care of me (in my 5 yr old brain). By the time I was 7 I had grown out of that stage. Obviously SD hasn't.

He needs to wean her off him and replace her admiration for him with someone else. If he sees this as a 'stage' then the 'stage' sets the scene for the rest of his life. One day she will be 35 and STILL living with him. One day he will be dead and her world will crash and burn in a dreadfully inhealthy way. She could whack out into a psychotic state and stay there for the rest of her life. I know of a man who had a complete breakdown when his wife passed away (he was in his 40s and perfectly normal beforehand) and lives in assisted living now and had to give up his law practice because the emotional traume of his wife dying (medical reason not homocide or accident) was more than his brain could tolerate. He was catatonic for 2 yrs!

DH is emotionally crippling her byy allowing this to continue. How selfish can he be? He should delete the texts and tell her her phone will be suspended between x-y o'clock if she cannot use it appropriately.

I think she knows no difference. She thinks she is special and this is very normal because her father has never said otherwise. He blows up at her on occaision but then he reverts back to his weirdo co-dependent relationship

Unfortunately, I think his reaction to these texts tells you a great deal. That he still doesn't get it, that this girl has a problem. I think that's the most important thing you should be thinking about right now. I'm curious, what did his texts back to HER say? How many times did he respond to her texts and were they as 'unappropriate' as her texts to him were?

Daisy, I have to ask... are you with him because you love him or are you with him because you just can't handle being divorced again?

He doesn't treat you well, he goes out of his way to hurt you. He is emotionally crippling his kid and seems to be trying very hard to do the same to you. Why are you accepting this?

Do you have a therapist? I think you should find one and talk about these things and see what they have to say.

Daisy...hang in there...you are on the road to right!

None of us know you, but this sitution makes us all want to stand behind "our girl Daisy"...only because we know most of this crazy shit first hand ourselves.

I really agree with this though...most DHs will do anyting to try and make us look crazy or jealous and that stuff pisses me off.

I think that DH is trying a new ploy to get back home. I mean really, if his mom is so bad...why doesn't he go get his own apartment seeing that this separation has no expiration date, thus far?

I don't know which is worse, that she texts him 20 times a day or that DH really doesn't think her behavior is a big deal. It doesn't seem like there is much hope of her getting better at this point.

Daisy, how does he respond to the texts? Does he respond to each and every text? If so he is enabling her to act like a fool... making her think "oh Daddy likes it" gag me..
Just like my DH used to do when someone would ask SD to come over, he would say "oh i dont know if i can stand to be away from her that longggg..." (thinking he was being all sweet and stuff) but really he was hindering her. Because of that she would never want to go. He didnt realize it untill i told him! It took years to fix that mess ughh! What your DH needs to realize (especially if he is playing along with her) is that hes teaching her that "oh daddy NEEDS me and oh poor Daddy will just die if i dont text him and tell him i miss him" etc.. its making her distubingly worse than she already is! :jawdrop: He is SOOOO the majority of the problem

Yeah she's weird.

Daisy, I am sure you know this is NOT NORMAL. The next time you and DH go to counseling, you need to bring up the emotional incest. He is enabling her. He needs to tell her flat out, "Go make some friends and do not text me all day everyday." I don't know why this is so difficult for him to do. He needs to get her a new therapist as well. The one she has obviously has no clue how severe her problems are. Also, DH needs to get into therapy too. There is something wrong with him if he doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior.

Daisy, i came home tonight with SO sleeping at the foot of SDs bed and she's sitting up watching tv. I empathize.