PLeeeezzzzzzzzzzzeeee help!!!!!!!!!
i am soooooo stressed that i have tightness in my chest n i can not think straight n i dont really feel close 2 m h like i did b4!!! we used 2 b so in touch with each other n bcuz of this situation with the skid n my bios!!! within the last month h has been so different he accused me of being a cheater, he criticized how i made rice, doesnt understand how ifeel cuz i put on some weight n doesnt really support my endeavour 2 eat healthier, puts me down 4 having a drink yrt he has his own vice that he partakes of morning noon n night, n finds things little things bout my bios in order 2 make his bd look better (my bios arent angels by the least, they get on my last damn nerves but they feel as though they have 2 hide from my h n sd8 because they have made them feel so uncomfortable, sd8 is always staring something with them n thinks she is entitled 2 everything they have and more including my mom n thinks my mom has 2 take her out when she takes her own gkids, yet she goes with her grma without my bios, i told my bios10 n 16 theres no more hiding!!!!)
i am disengaging now n my h mom put her 2 cents in it by telling her son that she didnt think this was a good idea n i think she might feel that i let her only grd8 down, but OOOHHH, my h said yesterday something that hit a nerve.. like well i feel some sort of way becuz when we got married i thought u were goin 2 help me raise my d8. isaid i married u not her..h said basically he feels some sort of way bcuz im not engaging in raising his d, what about when she gets her period, i hope ur gonna have the talk with her ( im thinking really!!!!!!! she hardly ever listens 2 me n u make mr sooooooo mad when ur dealing with her that i dont want 2..am i selfish..she has a 2 grandmother n 3 sisters, she has them 2 talk 2!!!!!!!!!!! i am sooooooooooooo angry n my h tells me he basically he said if u love me u love my daughter..i felt so betrayed.......i love my h so much...we can have such a good time 2gether n he makes me laugh so much n he opens the car door 4 me when we go out, but 4 him 2 say basically if u love me u will love my d8.. i dnt marry her, i dont ask him 2 love my boys!!!! i ask him 2 just leave them alone...he doesnt like my boys that much..bcuz they havent latched on to him as he would like 2... therfore he thinks they r disresectful, cuz my bio10 doesnt want 2 fly remote helicopters or do motorcycle or quad riding but his little girl will jump at the chance n h loves that n faults my boys 4 not wanting 2 do stuff like that,,so he look down at them...so i told him 2 leave them alone!!! they r fine without u being involved withthem, but dont come off crazy 2 them, cuz they havent treated u nearly as bad as ur d has treated me n my bios at all!!!!! my bios havent told on him, lied on him, confronted him like they r grown, question anything he has said 2 them, but his d8 has done all that and more 2 me...check this out!!! he left her here with me while he went out, he didnt want 2 bring her..but he says dont treat her crazy..i got pissed n said well take her with u!!! u think he did??? nope her ass is still here with me..she keeps askin 2 call her dad... he needs 2 come n get her!!!!!!!1 i am sooooooooo sooooooo ready 2 do somethin!!!!!! well at least my boys r coming out of their rooms smiling more!!! 4 that i am happy i disengaged...aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
- vwd1224's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
This is why I alway say don't
This is why I alway say don't tell your SO/DH that you are going to disengage. You just do it and behave matter of fact about everything.
MIL should mind her own business.
I did not tell the h that i
I did not tell the h that i was going to disengage.
I just did it.
He asked if he should make my bios something to eat and I said I would do it.
I also said, do not worry about what the boys would eat, I have it under control.
Oh well : (
Ah, the kid-battle.... First
Ah, the kid-battle....
First texting is very hard to read especially wihtout paragraphs. Call us old fashioned but it is what it is. PLease write in English.
I could not marry someone who was not on board with my kids. You don't have to love them but you don't play tit for tat with them and compare teens and tweens and boys and girls. In saying that would it do your sons any harm to spend some time with their stepfather? If you expect his daughter to treat you with respect what do you expect from your sons? OK so they don't like remote control gadgets. Would it hurt them to spend time with him?
How long do you expect your marriage to last? You will not accept his daughter, she lives with you 24/7 and you are the only other woman in the house and yet you will not discuss puberty with her? I cannot imagine not talking to another young girl living in my house.
The thing is for some time there was just DH and SD. The Dream Team. Now you are in the way and she wants the old life back where she was the centre of attention. She has no mother yet you feel that you are married to her father and have no responsibility for her. As for your DH, did he marry you for you or your gender? Both of you are wrong. He needs to father his daughter and teach her that his love for her is different to his love for you. Also he needs to be very clear what she can and can't do and back you up.
It seems you both leapt into this with different objectives. But it will tear you apart.
I was just torn apart by some
I was just torn apart by some of the replies to my post!
I am new to this site. I do not know all of the abbreviation, but I try to read and understand what others post. I never thought that my plea for help would get disregarded because of spelling and sentence structure.
Wow, I posted a blog when I need help. I did not know there were rules of posting a blog.
I did not know I would be judged by my ability use proper writing techniques while my heart was so sad.
So to answer some of you, this is what I have to say:
(I hope this lives up to your standards)
1. I am not playing tit for tat.
2. I love my h, and I will and have helped with his d8.
3. I never said I would not help sd8 with female issues, but I did not expect to hear that I was expected to do everything and my h is very limited when he deals with my bios.
4. H gets very easily frustrated when my bios do not act as he envisioned.
5. H then says he does not want to do anything with my bios, and that is alright, because he married me and all I expect is for H to be my H ( and to know that the bios are here and be there for them like you expect me to be there for her. Do not just throw them away because their bio-d is alive- and that is all he is-is alive. Their bio-d is full of empty promises and a lot of criticism ).
6. H has scolded my bios because of what his d8 had said about them, my H built the wall between the boys and himself (if that makes sense).
7. I tell my bios all the time that they do not have to love my h, but they have to respect him (I told them this from the very beginning and my h did not do that for me with his d8, he just started doing this after a year and 3 months).
8. My h has told me before not to discipline his d.
9. This sd8 has actually told on me like I was a little child because I did not give her enough cookies, or because I told her something she did not like.
10. H has taken her side in the past (he is getting better).
11. My bios have spent time with my H, but H has pointed out negative aspects of their outings or time spent together and my bios have gotten their feelings hurt by H. So I will not let them get their feeling hurt any longer.
12. The bible says to put your marriage first and my H has not done this, so I am hurting.
Please stop making me out to be the bad person here, I am just disengaging and now I feel attacked by the very people who are supposed to be a support on this site. I thought this was a sight where step-parents some to vent.
I guess I was wrong! Once again hurt