DH just doesn't get it!! I'm guessing he never will!!
SS14 grounded from phone, tv, and video games do his usual bad report card! Same punishment, same story!!
Monday DH went to pick up SS14 from school. He parks in the same spot each day! SS was a no show. DH figured he must have walked and he was fine with that. School gets out at 2:20. SS calls at 4:00 from friends phone yelling that DH wasn't there. DH told SS he was lying about being there because there was no way SS wouldn't have seen him. SS says whatver and hangs up on DH! :jawdrop: SS shows up around 6:45. DH has a talk blah blah and SS is still arguing. DH never asks where he was or what he was doing, of course we all know he would lie anyway. SS spends the rest of night talking to DH at table about random things so he doesn't have to go to his room.
Yesterday BD15 who is home with broken leg had friends come by after school at 11:30. School was dismissed then due to graduation. SS never told us so of course we have no idea where he is. I asked DH if he was going to school at regular time to pick up SS and see what he says. So around 2:15 SS calls to tell DH that he will walk home. DH asks why he didn't call earlier. That's it nothing else. SS gets home around 4:00 and DH is telling me he is pissed and he's going to punish SS blah blah
I get home at 5:00 walk into my bedroom to find DH and SS laying on my bed watching freaking tv!! :O :O WTF?? SS is grounded from watching tv due to his grades. SS disappears 2 days in a row!! DH punishes the kid by letting him watch tv in bed with him!! I'm at a complete loss here!! I walk in and calmly say uh..SS is grounded from tv. DH says oh well were watching a special on the president. He was watching the fucking VIEW..OMG!!
I walked out. A little later DH comes outside and asks what's wrong. I told him I was shocked to come home and find SS in my bed!! DH says I didn't think anything was wrong with that because it was educational!! Whatever!! WE know SS has no interest in politics. I told him that was a great punishment!! Let the kid who is grounded from tv watch tv as a reward for lying about where's he's been the last 2 days.
I freaking give up!!
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ew, I would be livid if SD
ew, I would be livid if SD was ever in my bed. Ew, ew ,ew!
Well that was my first
Well that was my first thought as I walked in!! I was disgusted! Luckily he was on top of the covers but I did change my pillowcase! DH just looked at me while I did it!!
I have decided I have no clue
I have decided I have no clue HOW DH thinks - so I have given up trying.
Latest 2 examples:
Scenario #1
Kids got a treat bag of candy from a b-day party. I calmly suggest to DH that he monitor SS6's candy since he has no control. DH dismisses me.
DH goes upstairs for bedtime and sees SS6 stuff something in the sofa cushion. He calls him on it. SS6 lies saying he isn't doing anything. DH moves the cushion and there are candy wrappers everywhere, in the sofa, behind the sofa, hidden everywhere. DH freaks on him - sends him to brush his teeth and DH cleans it up??
DH comes down, I said, what happened? SS6 ate ALL the candy from the party - I said, oh well next time take the bag then you can control that. DH says..... I don't care he ate the candy, its his to eat, I care that he threw the wrappers everywhere, we aren't animals.
So, DH could care less his kid who we try to limit sugar with ate everything, lied, hid the wrappers, and then DH cleaned it himself. No punishment.
I am totally confused.
Scenario #2
SS6 stealing with BM from the store. SS6 telling BD7 that is how you get what you want from the store when mom or dad say no, you just put it under your shirt. When I asked DH if he talked to SS6 about it, his answer was, I talked to BM, I don't want to mention it to SS6, it might upset him and I don't want him to feel bad.
done. dont get it. no wonder there is no punishment if THAT is how DH thinks
I wonder why they even bother
I wonder why they even bother complaining about things! I'm pretty sure my DH doesn't give a crap about what SS does. I think he attempts to punish due to my shock!! I think DH is perfectly fine with SS as is, he just plays the part of a caring parent when he feels its required!!
So - this blows my mind too -
So - this blows my mind too - I had him repeat what he told BD7 so that DH could hear it from SS6 - DH did ask him at that moment, WHY SS6?
SS6 shrugged and said, not like I went to juvie.
OMFG
When SS4 was about 2.5 he
When SS4 was about 2.5 he tried doing that. At freaking 2.5. He hid something behind his back. I yanked that thing out of his hand so fast and told him NO!
DH looks at me and I told him what he was trying. SS walked out of that store in tears, just because DH talked to him. But, we haven't had a problem since. I don't know if BM has had a problem, but that is not my concern.
Wouldn't want anyone under
Wouldn't want anyone under the age of 18 to feel bad. Of course, we all know that introducing these protected little angels into adulthood is an epic fail and then we wouldn't want to make them feel bad since they've had such a tough childhood.
I freak out when they're even
I freak out when they're even in our room.
That's just it!! SS never
That's just it!! SS never comes into our room!! But because he was in trouble DH decided it would be best to reward him!! EEEEWWW is right!!
Reminds me of my boyfriend
Reminds me of my boyfriend who punishes his son by 'taking away all his electronics' but the kid is in his room watching a DVD on the XBOX. Yeah, that's real punishment. He might not be able to go outside and play with friends, might not be able to play his portable electronics, might not be able to use his phone...but he still gets to enjoy laying back in the air conditioning and watching a movie! I wish that was how I was punished when I was 12!
You know, I am all for putting a child to work in the yard or taking away ALL electronics so they have nothing else to do but READ a book or make them write a paper about what they have done, why it was unacceptable, and how they should handle issues in the future. This crap about substituting one item of pleasure for another teaches a kid absolutely NOTHING.