Does it get better
So I have a 15 yr old stepdaughter that just has a wall up in our relationship. I really think it has something to do with my mother in law and her father. She lives with her grandparents and always has since she came home from the hospital when she was born. Her father had her at a young angle so of course his parents helped out alot while he was working. Well my finance and I met 10+yrs ago and I instantly fell in love with his daughter. Of course she was resistant to me bc of me being a new person in herfathers life. As time went on my SD and I began to grow a relationship an then oneday she came home saying stuff that her mother was telling her. So from her mother telling her that I was the one who broke up their family she was stand offish. Two years went buy and I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. We move into
Our first apartment and my fiancé decided to let his daughter stay with his parents. I always told him she should have came with us bc now he is out of control. I have tried to have heart to heart talks with her to let her know that even though I am not your mom I still love you like u are one of my own. I figured after 10+ yrs she would be comfortable with me but I guess not. I am at my wits end bc I don't know if I want to keep
Putting forth all this effort to get her to accept me or what? I have 4 kids of my own that are under the age of 9 that love me unconditionally. Like today, she came in the house to pick up her sisters for church and just disregarded saying happy mothers day to me. It hurt my feelings bc she knew she should have said it and then when they dropped them back off she threw my 5yr olds card
She made for me at me and it hit the ground. I don't know why she has a grudge or block up against me. I'll take any suggestions if anyone has any ideas for me.
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These are just some ideas: Dh
These are just some ideas:
Dh left her behind and had a new family- discarding her.
Bm pushes the PAS, but you didn't say where the grandparents stood.
I am not sure where you go from here. If you can afford family counseling that might be a good place to start.
If that isn't an option search for articles to see what you can find that might help.
I wish you luck, we took the easy road- and lost
The grandparents are in the
The grandparents are in the pic full time bc of the SD living with them. They do help
Out with all of the kids but they favor her the most. The grandparents would rather her stay there or atleast the grandmother would. He grandmom is by herself alot bc of her husband travels for work. The grandparents and I have had words and the situationisnt frat but we r cordial towards each other. They have expressed that would would have preferred him to be with his race ( Caucasian ). There's has been some harsh things that have been said to me and about me that I have learned to forgive but not forget. I am truly hurt by everything that has happened between us bc I don't know why they have said the things they have about me. I feel that they have filled my SD head with lies and a bunch of non sense and my fiancé won't speak up for me he just finds a way to justify it or just say that his mom is crazy and she makes stuff up. I feel myself becoming depressed and frustrated bc all I want is for everyone to be happy. In no way do I want my SD to feel left out:( I want my fiancé to be a more responsible parent! He is a great father I just want him to be more responsible towards her! It's hard bc I try to be a mother figure to ALL the kids so no one is left out. I treat all the kids the same granite that my SD probably feels like she's gettin in trouble when she's just being disciplined! Yes I am going to be mad when she's failing all her classes in HS it's not acceptable for u to be able to play sports and not have to do homework? His parents think backwards and are too old to have to be raising a teenager!
FDH works a crazy schedule so
FDH works a crazy schedule so his parents said they would help out and take care of SS and for almost his entire life he has lived with his grandparents. FDH's mom has been PASing SS against FDH and myself. It finally came to a head this past week when SS said his grandma told him she had custody and we were taking her to court. We were slowly transitioning SS into living with us full time and when SS told us this FDH told his dad and gave him a week to fix it. It git worse and FDH said SS was not going back to theory house. Now we have to move but SS has been the most loving and sweet kid to me and the attitude was all because of the nasty things grandma said about me to him.
If the grandparents are PASing her you need to get her out of there and into counseling. We are trying to encourage SS to ask anything he wants and luckily he is seeing that grandma was lying.
My grandparents raised me and I tried living with my mom and stepdad but I have an abusive stepdad so after two years I was back at the grandparents. I was really mad at my mom for choosing him over me for many years. If my stepdad had been decent it would not have been a problem.
I think based on my personal experiences your SD may benefit from a counselor and she may feel like dad has a new family without her or someone may have said that. Good luck, try to remember she is a child and she has been influenced to act this way.
My SD's mom lives in another
My SD's mom lives in another state. Her mom
Has never really been in her life as far as what I've known and seen. My SD's parents had her when they were young and her mom had 2 kids when she met her dad. She would see her like once a week when we first started dating and then stopped bc she was incarcerated and then when she got out she didn't have a car and that's what made her stop and me being in the pic. Her mom only really wanted her bc she would hold her for ransom for money or whatever she wanted. They were never really together from what I've heard.they went to court and her father was awarded custody bc her mom basically doesn't want to deal with her. She tried to go they his mom to see her but my SD doesn't even know her!! She hasn't seen her mom
since he was in 3rd grade and she now going into 10thgrade!! She has never called on her bday or any holidays!! In my mind also I'm thinking who in the hell wouldn't want their children with them regardless! The BM of my SD is clueless! She has 4 kids of which 2 only live with her! Her youngest son was supposedly my fiancé 's son but turned out he's not thank god! She has a lot of explaining to do to her dgtr ( my SD) but she doesnt want to deal with her which I understand. I have alot of venting about this whole issue an it's been bottled up inside for the past 10 1/2 yrs!! To make it worse his parents always try to make it seem
Like she was a good person or something they r hypocrites!! I've actually cried to my husband and all he can say is things will get better but I doubt it! Thanks for replying hope to hear from u!!