Whats age appropriate??
DH brings up last night BM called and said SKIDS age 5&7 are cursing and googling "I want to see a naked girl"! they are 5&7!!! i didnt think about things like that until i was a teen. I have a BD 6 and a BS 3weeks, and i dont want that crap in my home! My little girl is very much a 6 year old i dont even think she knows the F word is a curse because she doesnt hear it. DH says their curiosity of naked woman and sex is normal, i beg to differ they are 5&7! i personally think their mother is a POS and doesnt watch her childern and has WAY too many adult conversations in front of her kids. she also has been letting them hang out with older kids at the park, anything to make her life easier. These kids dont listen and no manners or respect for anyone, they are ungreatful.. i dont know what to do bc i can see their behaviors rubbing off on my BD6.
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Not normal. I don't know if
Not normal. I don't know if that is helpful though, since your DH is determined to excuse the behavior.
I agree and i told him the
I agree and i told him the same thing last night. He said hes not excusing it because its unacceptable. He says he will talk to the kids and get to the bottom of it. i honestly dont know what that will do! we only have them 2 days a week so what happens there is hard to fix in our home.
My SS7 doesn't even realize
My SS7 doesn't even realize the difference between boys and girls - yet. I mean he knows they are different but not what makes them different and he doesn't seem to care/be curious yet.
I call bullcrap on the excuse
I call bullcrap on the excuse they are only at your place 2 days a week. If they visit a friends home are they allowed to behave like this? Do they behave like this in school?
Kids know their limits and boundaries. And using the old "well I only have them xx hrs a week" is absurd. Consider this .... and you can use it for your DH ... if they play a sport or an activity like dance and practice one day a week do you think they can behave any way they want and not play by the rules? Lots of littlies play T Ball or Softball or Soccer or dance. Do you think they behave like idiots there? ( I had to use the same analogy for my DH in the beginning.)
All places have rules, boundaries and regulations and this is just the way of the world. Just as 5 yr olds cannot jump up and dowen on their seat when a plane is taking off and a 6 yr old cannot run through the library pulling books off shelves neither can the kids use certain behaviours that are banned in your home.
What worked for me (when my own kids would come home with a 'new word') "We don't say that in our house..." Repeat repeat repeat. No over reaction. No spankings. No drama. Kids feed off drama and chaos. If they continue to use certian words and phrases just send them to their rooms. Done. Out of sight, out of mind.
But seriously, your DH is using his laziness to parent as an excuse. It may take a few weeks but they will learn pretty fast what is not tolerated.
Caveat: In saying this it may be a good idea to keep your ears and eyes peeled for signs of abuse. In our city a brother and sister were playing in a park right behind their house and some older kids cajoled them down into a culvert and videoed (on their phones) the kids performing sexual acts on each other. The younger kids (5 and 6)were threatened with being beaten up if they didn't. The perps? 13 and 14. Sickening.
Not normal. I would not
Not normal. I would not allow them to "google" anything. No internet access, all suggestive TV on lockdown. Do not expose them to anything too adult in your household. I've got 3 kids, and a skid and none of them ever did this stuff at that age-heck the only one that's tried it at 14, 14, 13, and 10 is my ss14-and as far as I know that was just looking at girls in bathing suits. But nonetheless that's why he's not allowed internet access.
the internet access came from
the internet access came from their mother letting them play with her iphone. they have no internet access in our home. We are very careful about what is said and done in front of the kids. Like i said they are over exposed to adult conversations and situations at home.
I almost feel bad bc they just get punnished ( it seems like the sec they walk in the door) until they leave our house. only a matter of time before they stop wanting to come!
Not normal. At their age,
Not normal. At their age, they would have had to be exposed to sexual subject matter and cussing a good deal to reach that point. My seven year old ss considers "shut up" to be a very bad word. He won't even say it to tattle on someone else saying it. He is intensely shy about his private parts and makes me close my eyes when he puts his underwear on after bath time. He is barely curious about my/dh's body and it is in no way a sexual curiosity. He has just reached the developmental stage where he has some rudimentary concept of babies coming out of the mothers body and getting put there by daddy - but is still very comfortable with the idea that "daddy magic" put the babies there. Find a good book about their age group and reference it for normal behavior and development. I'd suggest going on amazon to the parenting book section and search for cussing, sexuality in school age children, etc. After that, the best you can do is to give them a stable, safe and age appropriate enviroment in your home - which it sounds like you are already doing.
yes thats how my bd is. she
yes thats how my bd is. she considers the word hate just terrible! ive worked very hard to raise my bd in a good environment, i refuse to let his ex (a lazy mother) ruin that for my kids. i always get " but the boys do/say it mom". its so hard having a blended family!
thanks for everyones thoughts!