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daisy0202's picture

Now Wed. SD usually stays at grandmas so DH and i can have some alone time. (my son is MIA always) So just got a text from DH that SD is not going today because she is having a bad day at school and needs daddy time. :jawdrop: you had him to yourself for 9 freakin days....

If I knew then what I know now.....F^&% this!!!!!

I love my DH but has anyone every thought love just isnt enough to have to deal with this shit that never gets better????

Comments

starfish's picture

YES YES YES:

"I love my DH but has anyone every thought love just isnt enough to have to deal with this shit that never gets better????"

CrazieCoconut86's picture

I would tell him, "tough shit for her. I just got back from vacation and havn't had any husband/wife time. It is our date night, this is the only reason she is doing this."

That is just stupid on his part. She is 16 and needs to learn how to cope with her "bad days." And now that I am an adult, I would kill to have a 16 year olds bad day.

blendedblissnot's picture

Remind him that!!! Say DH, she has had full daddy time 9 days now. I need my DH time also and I've missed you.

Are you going to go down this road again of her needs and tantrums for attention come before mine?

Keep this up and she will have ALL the daddy time she wants but I will be gone."

I realize you came back from a wonderful vacation feelign happy and rested, but this is not the time to let down the pressue when sd starts her crap. You MUST remain a bitch, period.

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Oh this has happened to me!!!! I didn't see SO for two whole weeks. We had a big family outing planned, but SD was having a drama moment and what happens? He ditched me and SS to take SD shopping and to dinner to coddle her drama shit. I was pissed!!!!! I blew up at him, but didn't do anything but make her more victim like.

The only thing that worked for me is disengaging some from SO. Pulling away made him more attentive to me.

Willow2010's picture

because she is having a bad day at school and needs daddy time
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
OMG...he actually said this? After what you said to him yesterday about her and her drama?! Your DH is not a smart man is he?

daisy0202's picture

Helena since I have been back I have pretty much ignored both of them. Thinking DH will be all lovey dovey....Guess what right now hes not...He does however ask is everything ok? I answer yes its fine....But I had such a great 9 days I forgot how much I miss no drama...It was amazing!!!! Now hes text me 3 times saying sorry, we will get time together I promise...Bottom line I am sick of the promises....They never happen...She knows our day is wed, and she knows we want alone time and thats why she is having a "bad" day....Get over it...I had one yesteday and dealt with it....I am still in a realxed state from vaca thank god or I would be over the top by now....I am really looking at this realtionship and not sure that is a good idea...,Ya know

Helena.Handbasket's picture

That's how it is at first. My SO took a couple of months. After a while, he started showing that he was not liking seeing me the whole weekend every weekend. Stopped catering to the kids so much. give it time.

The way I saw it, if we grow apart, then so be it and I will handle it from there. In the meantime, I want sweet freedom. If it did work, then great for our relationship. If its not going to work, you will see more and more that it isn't and you will take the steps to end it. time. its all that's needed.

Lowered my expectations so I can't be disappointed. Makes me more self sufficient. I had to spend a lot of time building myself up before I could make any major decisions. Now I don't really have to.

Wishitwasdifferent's picture

The more I hear about these Step Kids the more I become convinced that the only way to deal with the shit is to have your own life and not rely on your SO for his/her time as usually the Step Kids muck up plans with their whims. It's hard on us, espeically if you don't have your own kids, as I don't.

I think sometimes these parents need to be a bit tougher on their kids and say NO and at 16 this girl should be learning how to deal with bad days, they happen.

I would be so pissed off so I know how your feeling, why not go out with a friend for a meal or cinema or go visit a relative, let him know by text you won't be there tonight and when he asks why tell him I needed that time with you and you let me down.

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Ditto. This is how I cope. When the skids come, my mentality is I'll see him Monday.

daisy0202's picture

I'm going to try it....I am stress free right now and refuse to get stressed. Before I left I was at my wits end....SO STRESSED...I came back with a new outlook.....I'm going to try it....Thanks everyone!!!! Love venting here...You guys are alot of help!!!! Wink

Helena.Handbasket's picture

YAY! And no need to rub it in verbally to him. You've said your piece, now just let your actions do the rest.

Wishitwasdifferent's picture

Good Luck, I feel your pain, just thinking about seeing SD5 tomorrow night makes me feel sick already :jawdrop:

unsure99's picture

I totally agree, the DH is the problem. You are back now so SD needs 'daddy' time. Translated SD needs to keep daddy away from you!!

daisy0202's picture

I know....The end of May we are going on a long weekend with friends without kids....Cant wait to see what that brings....I can tell you in one word....DRAMA!!!!! LOL

unsure99's picture

And that is exactly why I have called off my wedding in June, because LOVE is most definitely NOT ENOUGH!!!

whatwasithinkin's picture

is it just me or do Daughters in this situation think they are wives? because I kinda feel that way sometimes. Like in this situation, you have been away and she was allowed to fill your shoes, now your back and he cant tell the difference