I am a resident SM to SS9 & SD8. SO & I started seeing each other in early 2009 & I quickly became VERY involved with the day to day care of the Skids.

There were A LOT of issues with them being years behind on their behavior & over the course of the last 3 years, they are now pretty on-par with other children their age. It took A LOT of work on my part. SO & I argued quite a bit in the early part of our relationship because he wanted me involved with the Skids but constantly tried to “protect” them from me. We have worked these issue out for the most part & he stands behind me about 90% of the time now & any issues he may have are no longer discussed in front of the Skids.

Initially, things were great between the Skids & I. Things went drastically down-hill after their first visit with their BM Nasty in August 2010 & got even worse after their visit with her last year.

SS9’s behavior has been atrocious since September of last year (I’ve blogged about it) & SD8 has attitude flares that would make any one of the insane BM’s that we deal with proud.

No matter what is going on, SD treats me like crap anytime we are near my family. SS goes spastic anytime we are around MIL. MIL has noticed that SS treats me like crap. SS is blatantly breaking rules, disobeying & being an all out turd.

I have found myself having pulled away from them emotionally & physically. I am unable to see how I can invest my time & energy only to have it all come raveling apart over less than 1 week per year. The amount of time it takes to get them onto semi normal behavior is insane (MONTHS) & I am at a loss.

SO has noticed that I seem unhappy…a lot. It isn’t that I’m unhappy, it’s that I can’t be bothered. I can’t be bothered to talk SS down from whatever planet he is on, I can’t be bothered to ensure that he understands what he’s reading (he’s got high functioning PDD-NOS), I simply cannot be bothered with them.

SO has seen their behavior, has spoken to them about it, has tried punishments over disrespectful behavior…NOTHING WORKS! The reason that nothing works is that SS & SD DO NOT CARE…they don’t care about jack squat. It drives me crazy.

SO now wants to know what HE needs to do to get me back to my “happy self” with the Skids…I don’t know if it’s possible. I’d consider anti-depressants but I’m uninsured at the moment.

For the most part, they are good kids…they just…don’t listen to me, SS disrespects me, SD cops tude & neither of them care…about anything.

Any suggestions on how I can re-engage emotionally? I feel like I’ve seen the writing on the wall. They will grow up hating me in favor of Nasty. They will forever look at me like I am an intruder & they will never show me respect. I will always get dirty looks & attitude from them...nothing I do will EVER be right...EVER!

HELP!