I refuse to let this go on any longer. I have been an observer here and haven't ever posted my own blog, but I feel it will help me to get some frustration out so here it goes. Nobody understands what I am going through except for you guys! I have no biological children of my own. I have a SD6 and my boyfriend has full custody of her. BM didn't show up to her final court hearing, so therefore she lost all parental rights. She has very little to do with her and did when they lived about 2 miles apart. So after my boyfriend of a year got laid-off after 7 yrs, we decided it would be best for us to start a new life together in a whole new state. Why not? We had no commitments in the current town we were both living in, so we packed up and moved about 5 months ago. I am going to refer to him as DH (even though he isnt yet).

DH's mother has lived with him for the last 2 years before I came along. She is 65 and has lived with him ever since he has gotten full custody, this was his main reason for doing so bc he had a live-in babysitter. The BM is a total piece of work, so this was probably the best situation for SD6. But the 2 years before I came along, this little girl has been coddled and babied like no tomorrow. She was 5 when I came along, could not tie her shoes, ride a bike, threw major tantrums, peed the bed nightly. Now I know this isn't that abnormal for a 5 yr old, but 3 months until her 6th bday, these were still the "norms". I moved in with all 3 of them about 4 months ago and since then I have helped her learn how to tie her shoes, ride a bike, cut wayyyy down on the tantrums, and she no longer pees the bed. So I have no ideal if these things were bc of me, or the fact that we moved away from her BM (who asked for her once a month maybe 3-4 hours at a time) and started a "family" life for her to be in again. Either way, something has helped her "grow-up" a little, thank god. So I know SD6 life has changed drastically in the last 4 months, but I know its def a step in the right direction for her. She started out calling me mommy (little weird to me, but I didn't mind), but BM told her that hurt her heart so she stopped calling me that. SD6 will wish on a star and tell me she wished she was a baby again, but in my belly so I could be her real mom. Breaks my heart The lastest one, she got her ears pierced for her 6th b-day recently, after Dad and his mother have tried to get her 4 different times now. She wanted me to hold her hand while she did it, so of course I did. Afterwards, I told her how proud of her I was and she looked me in the eye and said "Only reason why I did it was bc of how brave you made me feel." Needless to say, she absolutely loves me and we have a great relationship. She has such a good heart, but on the other hand I am afraid for how she will turn out if her bad behaviors aren't checked.

I absolutely love my DH and would do anything to make this work, but when I have mentioned things in the past about her behavior, I am mean, dont like her, etc. It gets very old. To give examples, her GMA will be in the middle of a show, when SD6 walks through the door, she demands it be changed to Spongebob or some kid show and GMA will automatically change it. If she is watching one of her "shows" and people talk, she tells them "Stop talking, I can't hear my show." No one says a word to her. And get this, they will get quiet. If she mentions something she wants for dinner, Dad goes out and buys the stuff and makes it for her asap. When I first met her she would throw massive tantrums if she didnt get her way and Disney Dad would give in on whatever it was. Dinner is a big problem area, DH wants to have the whole family sit down for dinner nightly, which they never did before, and I love the ideal bc its something ive always wanted too. She has 0 manners. Stands up in her seat (youd think she was 2), demands a drink,silverware, whatever it may be. She never asks for anything, its always "Give me some tea, now" Lately it has been she cries every night at dinner bc she doesn't like what were having. I am not kidding, almost every night she wines about how she doesn't like something were having. And it becomes a big scene. I regret going to dinner now. Every night, she starts pouting and DH says "What's wrong sweetheart?" Like we all don't know by now.

Ok I am going to continue another blog...part 2 because this is getting really long! Sorry guys!!