Hello....I'm SS11 and I can't open a banana
Sometimes I just can’t help myself from the reactions and thoughts I have about SS11. They’re not mean or cruel thoughts, but I’m sure the kid would be a wreck if I were to verbalize any of them. Then again, I could probably make him cry just by looking at him the wrong way.
I often wonder if this kid is EVER going to grow out of the mama’s boy phase, and start to show even the slightest shift towards growing up and becoming (granted, slowly) a man. Yet no signs exist, anywhere. Last night, for example, opening a banana-standard yellow Chiquita-proved too difficult a task for SS11 to do by himself. Big deal, right? Cut the top off with a knife, which happens to be sitting right in front of you, right? Nope. Not this kid. “Mom, can you open this banana for me?”, in the absolutely most pathetic ‘mama’s little boy’ voice imaginable. And now what confuses me, is whether it’s more ridiculous for SS11 to be this much a pansy ass, or that DW doesn’t even bat an eye over this and countless other equally ridiculous requests and actions on his behalf. Does she not see or even care that her son is being groomed to remain completely dependent on everyone else around him to survive?
Even SD13, who isn’t exactly the most self-reliant (although she’s better than her brother), gives him shit for his complete lack of willingness to try things himself.
That’s the thing….it’s not like this kid tries and fails on his own. That would be COMPLETELY ok and absolutely welcomed. How else does ANYONE learn ANYTHING in life, but to try, fail, get back up and try again? It’s called growing up, and until recently I foolishly believed everyone must experience this in life-whether you want to or not. But silly me….I didn’t realize a new generation of kids is being raised, void of this concept.
I’m amazed how easily he (and his sister to be fair) are, not only allowed but, at times encouraged to quit things that become too difficult, require too much commitment, or have lost their initial interest in. Forget about seeing something through (like the length of a soccer season), just quit in the middle if you want to.
I know this is a bit off from opening a banana. But in my humble opinion, this is where the seed of this mindset is planted and takes root. By letting him pass off such minimal tasks as opening a banana…..because its hard.
What a crock of shit. I truly feel sorry for the rude awakening this kid will face later in life.
Oh yeah....and to put this in some perspective (I kind of got off track from what I originally wanted to say), this all happened within 10 minutes (YES 10!!) of eating dinner (well of us eating...SS11 just pushes food around plate). DW says, "Oh I told him to eat it since he won't be able to eat anything in the morning b/c he's getting a blood test." --Which is another blog altogether, stay tuned for that.
So in other words, DW, you won't make your kid eat dinner (chicken and salad, whoa, pretty wild!), but you'll tell him to eat a banana right afterwards since he's obviously still hungry. What's the point in even making him come to the dinner table then, just for show?
At this point, I had to quickly remove myself from this back-ass-wards world they live in, and escape to my own sane world where 11 year olds can open bananas on their own.
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OK. I have only read the
OK. I have only read the title of your blog and it made me laugh so hard I spit diet coke on my computer.
Yeah I nearly choked on my
Yeah I nearly choked on my frappuchino!! Its time he learns to do things on his own, especially mastering the art of opening a banana. My 3 yr old can do it!!
Well I'm at least glad others
Well I'm at least glad others can laugh at this along with me....I don't feel too badly anymore }:)
i feel better about my skids
i feel better about my skids abilities to eat a bananna. now if ss12 would quit pissing in the bed and sd15 would learn to fush the fucking toilet, things would be improving.
just wondering, can ss11 wipe his own ass or is mommmmyyyy right there to assist?
I don't even want to know
I don't even want to know actually.....now that you've asked that question it's going to be in the back of my mind. Thanks a lot!!
sorry dude. i bet you don't
sorry dude. i bet you don't want to know, really!
Not exactly.....but I'm sure
Not exactly.....but I'm sure he'd have absolutely no problem requesting it. I don't think it would even cross his mind that "maybe I should be able to do this on my own"...
We went through the same
We went through the same thing a few months ago with my SS(10), but with an Orange. (disclaimer: this is a clementine we are talking about, not a navel Orange. For those not familiar, its a cross between a manderine and a tangerine, the peel basically falls right off)
SS- can I have an Orange?
Me- yeah, go ahead
SS- can you peel it for me?
Me- nope, you are fully capable to peel the Orange.
SS- but its tooooo hard, I need you to do it.
Me- nope, it you want an Orange you need to peel it yourself.
(throws Orange back in the bowl and goes to his room)
SS-(5 minutes later, with tear in his eyes, voice quivering) can you peel this for me, I can't do it!
Me- if you want an orange, then you can peel it.
(repeat last Exchange about 3 more times)
Dh- are you seriously not going to help him open that orange?!? He's only a kid for Christ sake!
I get up, take orange from SS, and hand it to BS(then 2.5) and say "can you please peel this for your nog brother?x.
BS gets up, walks over to the trash, peeled the orange in 45 seconds and hands it to SS.
I stare at Dh with a smile on my face.
That s Awesome! SS18 is
That s Awesome!
SS18 is utterly useless who cannot do a damn thing for himself.
I kept saying that after they get done with their dishes they need to rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. Well this went on for a couple weeks where he would not do it. DW stated that SS18 did not know if the dishes were clean or dirty in the dishwasher. I looked at DD8 and said, can you open the dishwasher and tell me if they are clean or dirty?
DD8 looks at me and says daddy they are dirty can't you tell from the food that is still on them?
I look at DW and say "I guess my 8 year old is more capable than your 18 year old" I got ignored for awhile after that lol.
Ha! My DH pulls that. He
Ha! My DH pulls that. He leaves dishes on the counter and when I call him on it he says, "I didn't know if the dishes were clean or dirty." Now keep in mind that he did not open the dishwasher and look. Can you get any more lazy?
My DH - at 47 years old -
My DH - at 47 years old - does that shit along with his entitled brats. Gee - apple doesn't fall far from the tree, huh? I have officially stopped cleaning the kitchen. It is a disaster and I nearly hyperventilate every time I see it but that is what wine and Xanax are for!
they use the clean dishes straight out of the washer and, then when they are gone, taken the overflowing ones from the sink and put them in the dishwasher.
A few times they forgot to alert the "magic dishwasher fairies" that it was time to run the soap and water and they mysteriously stayed dirty in there. That was fun! }:) I fully expect to one day see one of them eating cereal out of a coffee cup with a mixing spoon.....
My husband eats cereal out of
My husband eats cereal out of a hot chocolate mug with a long tea spoon! Sometimes it just gets ridiculous. He also uses my tupperware containers. Way to avoid dishes DH!
lmao your post is a cracker.
lmao your post is a cracker. A 10 yr old who can't peel an orange and a 2.5 year old who can. oh dear.
OMG this post was the first
OMG this post was the first decent laugh I have had in days. An 11 year old that can't peel a banana. Now that is funny. Good to know this bullshit with step kids can have a humorous side. Thank you for posting this. I have had the most miserable week ever with my horrid sd so I really needed a good laugh. And below I will post a list of things that my 12 year old sd can't do.
1. Catch a bus on her own.
2. Put a bread tie around a bag of food.
3. Turn off the shower tap (she couldn't do this when she was 10, she can do it now). Of course I felt so comfortable with my dh turning off the shower tap for his 10 year old daugther ffs SARCASM.
4. Often can't get lids off bottles even if they are only on there loosely.
5. Can't dial a phone number. Most times she will dial the wrong number and will have to hang up and try again.
Ok so the list goes on and on. I think we are talking about the most useless 12 year old on the face of the planet :/
Ok, let me chime in here. I
Ok, let me chime in here. I am a BM, as well as a SM. Baby daddy is pretty much outta the picture so I'm not one of the psycho BMs that we all love to hate. My youngest son is 14. He is, who everyone in my home, including DH, my other kids AND Skids refer to as "the princess."
This is why...
I practically do everything for this kid. I dressed him, in his bed, while he was sleeping probably until he was 12. Disturbing, I know!!! (He'd get up and change his clothes anyway but I still did it)
HOWEVER, here is WHY I did it. I was a teen mom. Had my first child 3 days shy of my 16th bday. Where was MTV's Teen Mom back in 1985? I'd be rich by now! I digress...
My youngest, is what I like to refer to as my last & final round of motherhood. I cherish every moment of this boy. I am clinging to his childhood because it will be gone really fast and soon he will turn into a head spinning demon teen. He's almost there. I have retreated a bit and am trying to let him do things on his own more and more. He's way too tall for the babying (6' 1") and the constant jabs from the rest of the family are wearing me down. It's not that he can't do things on his own, it's more about ME and wanting to feel needed. Sometimes he'll be in bed watching tv and say "Mom can you get me chocolate milk?" If I'm feeling lovey dovey I'll get it for him, if I'm not I'll say "Did something happen to your arms & legs?" To which he'll reply "Wow, you don't love me anymore!" I think some moms do these things because we LIKE to feel needed so we go overboard. Cut her some slack, maybe that's how she is feeling. I don't disagree that there are some parents that just do it to cripple their kids, but there are some of us that have other motives. Just thought I'd share.
I can understand where you're
I can understand where you're coming from....I have close friends who also had kids at a very young age, and that sounds very familiar to the way they are with their kids.
It's hard for me to cut his parents this slack though, as BF is 52 and BM is 38. Definitely the guilty mommy/guilty daddy syndromes.
Yes, I hear you. Like I said,
Yes, I hear you. Like I said, it's MY reason for being such a woos when it comes to my boy. At 14, he still lets me hug him and kiss him and I am utterly flabbergasted because the older 2 stopped that at 13. So it's just my way of holding on to this stage in his life that once gone, can never be recovered. Good luck with banana boy!
LOL!!!!!!!! Banana
LOL!!!!!!!! Banana Boy.....wow, that's his new name! I love it!! I better be careful....if I get too tipsy one night I might let that one slip and never hear the end of it. But damn it'd be worth it!
sd12 does these exact things.
sd12 does these exact things. She came in one day after breakfast, I and my bf had eaten and cleared out settings. She and her friend were still eating. I was washing up at the sink. Her dad tells her to clear their places when they are done and to do the dishes. I was finishing up the dishes by this time and was washing out the sink.
Sd12 walks over to the sink and says "where do you want these?"
I looked at her and said "I guess in the dishwasher". She stood there.
Finally, I said "you can sit them down til I'm out of the way".
she did. She sat them there and left them.
Then later that afternoon, I overheard my bf ask her "why are your plates not washed? Why are they here on the counter? why didn't they get done?"
Her response, bc she didn't know I was around the corner:
"ggrrrr, ugh...sigh.. long breath! hhhuuummppphhhh! insert my name.. she was supposed to wash them!!!"
To which my bf responds "she's not your maid. you eat on the plate you wash it.. and you don't make your friend wash her own plate. you don't leave your dishes for someone else to wash".
She's done this numerous and countless times!!
I see no change or reason for her to stop.
As I walked around the corner.... at the tail end of the convo..she just glared at me. I said.. what's up?
My bf said..well she left her breakfast dishes and said she expected you to do them.. I said..well, sorry.
Helplessness is not attractive.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^EXACTLY^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^EXACTLY^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I'm actually looking forward to the coming junior high and high school years to see how that plays out....he's already starting to be shown up by other kids who are figuring him out. I even tried to show him a few things self defense wise, and he had absolutely no interest. Ok...go ahead and let others pick on you....let me know how that works for you.
Your SS and mine might be
Your SS and mine might be long lost brothers.
I tried to actually care and help motivate the boy when he first started complaining about going to soccer practice (because it took away from video game time). But it was as useful as trying to reason with my dogs. Less probably. Since BF lets him quite ANYTHING, I've now thrown my hands up and said 'later for it'.
But even when I'm trying to show him some basics of how to defend yourelf (and considering I've been boxing for over 10 years, I kind of know what I'm talking about), he acts like its such an imposition for him. He certainly has never heard anything like this at BF house, cause BF is an absolute little bitch as well!
Yeah, my SS could definitely pull the whole 'butter my toast please' with DW and get away with it as well. Standing in the kitchen "can I have some water/juice/whatever?" No thoughts of getting it yourself, I just don't understand this mindset.
SS can't open a banana
SS can't open a banana either, matter of fact he can't open anything, can't pour a drink, can't put his own food on his plate, nothing, the kid acts completely helpless. Even my one year old can open a freaking banana.
My skids are the same way and
My skids are the same way and it makes me want to slap them upside the head! Even reading the posts aggravated me. It's definitely laziness and the parent allowing it. How is it possible that if my BD 3 is thirsty she can get up and grab a juice box but if SS10 or SD 9 want a drink they yell for it?? Get your lazy asses off the couch and grab it yourself. Agh! And I'm so tired of SO telling me that the kids are so demanding! No darling YOUR kids are demanding, OUR 3 year old is self sufficient. Every other weekend is the same BS from him, I'm taking care of skids and getting them ready, I can't help you. Really?? Cause they're 10 and 9 last time I checked they have no disabilities....just lazy. And also, just my thoughts on my situation...they know Dad caters to them so it's not only lazy but also manipulation. And I'm sure there's more in their messed up heads that I don't know, but I see it as a form of let's test if he still loves me. Here's the way I see it, youre not the first kids to come from and divorced household and you won't be last, your in for a rude awakening real life shows you that it doesn't give a rat's ass your mommy and daddy divorced. Whew..needed to vent.