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Back to the old schedule......hope I can handle it!

gladtheyrenotmine's picture

So after changing the living situation with the SD13 and SS11 just a couple months back, we're going back to the original schedule tonight.

Quick recap.....a couple months back, DW and her ex decided they'd try keeping SS11 with his dad all week, while SD13 stayed with us all week. Every other weekend both kids would alternate between houses, but the weekly schedule was to stay one kid per parents house...SD13 with us and SS11 with BF.

This came about for multiple reasons:
1. SD13 was (and still is) failing two classes, and wasn't getting any help at her dads house. Since we actually have rules and structure at our house, DW felt she would be better off with us and would start improving in schoolwork. (unfortunately, improving at school requires some work ethic, responsobility, and dedication on the part of SD13, which she has none of)

2. Second reason was due to SS11 being, to put it bluntly, a whiny little biatch. Seriously. At age 11 he has already figured out how to manipulate his dad to get whatever he wants. Dad knows and admits this even. In fact, the little shit made a comment about how he(the SS) "manipulated you" (he was talking to and referring to his mom) SS11 doesn't like being at our house because 1. we make him eat real food, not just kraft mac and cheese every night (yes, that's what he gets every night, or frozen chicken nuggets, at his dads house. And this is by the kids own demands, not requests) 2. We don't have a huge flat screen TV in every room for the little shit to play xbox live all day long, so again he wants to be at his dads. Unfortunatley for us, these aren't the reasons he tells his dad he doesn't want to be at our house. He tells his dad we're mean to SS11, we make fun of him, we don't let up about his insanely picky eating habits. He makes us out to be villains, when all his mom does is try and pander to the little shit. But since his dad is several cards short of a full deck, he eats it up and gives the kid whatever he wants.

So yeah, its no wonder he never wants to be at our house. And quite frankly, life has been great since he's been gone. I have had no anxiety whatsoever about it. In fact, everyone but the two parents seemed to be doing a hell of a lot better. But since both parents miss their other kid, they're changing things back. Makes no sense to me. If you're the parent, shouldn't you be looking out for the best interest of your kid and what is making them respond better? Shouldn't the kids well being come before the parents wants and desires?

So I've taken the advice I've received here lately and been reading, and decided I'm just not going to be around. Disengaging and detaching. After work, its straight to the gym. Which has pretty much always been the case, but I'm usually only there for about an hour or so. Not anymore. I've decided I'll start training again like I used to before these manipulating little shits came into my life, and be at the gym a few hours a night. At least on the nights they'll be at our house. My spare time away from work will once again be devoted to training relentlessly, like I've always loved to do but caught hell for because I was gone so much. But I've been training in this sport for waaaaaaay longer than DW and her kids have been in my life. I gave that up for her and them. Big mistake.

If DW wants them at our house so badly, she'll have to do it without me there the majority of those nights. I'll certainly be detached while home, but knowing that I have a short fuse, I think it'll be best for myself to stay occupied with something I'm interested in outside the house....besides going to the bar (which unfortunately has been very common for me over the last year, trying to kick that habit and replace it)

We'll see how things go......

Comments

Unfreakingreal's picture

Switch the bar for the movies and maybe the library. You'd be surprised how many people sit at the library reading in peace. Good for you. Oh she will learn the hard way, best believe she'll notice how she's going to have to eat up her kids all by herself. Keep us posted!

gladtheyrenotmine's picture

Originally, as now will be, schedule went like this:
Mon Tues: BF house
Wed Thurs: our house
Fri Sat Sun: every other weekend at other parents.
So the weekdays would always remain as above, and then every other week each of us would have them for 5 straight days. Not only that, but we were experiment with SD13 at our house only during the week, SS11 at his dads only during week. Now they'll both be at our house. Gets confusing, I know. That's why I'm over trying to keep up with the constant changes.