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It pretty much was as bad as I thought it would be

praying's picture

Submitted by praying on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 6:05pm

We just got back from the therapy session. None of us can look at each other in the eye. Ss is crying and angry and won't come out from his bed covers.

The therapist talked to us 30 minutes before we brought Ss in. He told us not to interrupt Ss. That we would have a chance to talk as well. I had the feeling you get before you get waiting in line for a roller-coaster.

Ss comes in and he is obviously pissed off, big time. He starts saying we are all sick who feel happy torturing him. His face was red because he was so angry. The therapist tries to calm things down and explains we are there for his own good. The he asks Ss how he is feeling. Ss replies, I want to talk about the details now.

The moment I heard that my stomach dropped. Ss then proceeds to tell us a very terrible thing he had to go through. I almost threw up. I was in tears. My Dh looked extremely pale. Ss figured out a way to get back at us for doing the therapy. I won't be able to sleep properly tonight. I heard about what he talked about in court but hearing it from his mouth made it a million times worse.

After Ss stopped talking we were all in a stunned silence. The therapist asked me if I wanted to say anything. I was really queasy and could not say anything. My Dh was able to say how much he loved Ss and that we just want to help him. Ss looks at the floor the whole time and we hear him mumble, Whatever sicko.

On the drive home, Ss starts crying. He didnt touch a bit of dinner. And after hearing what I did today, I could get barely get a spoonful down. We are going to do this again in 2 weeks. I am seriously considering not going anymore. I can' take it.

Comments

praying's picture

Submitted by praying on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 6:26pm

I guess that is a positive I can take out of it. But he is so mad right now. But I hope he goes back to being difficult and not a mindless zombie. Its sad that that those are two options we have. Thanks Melissa.

Ommy's picture

Submitted by Ommy on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 6:15pm

try to stick it out. SS has a lot of anger in him and it will take time. both you and your husband are doing the right thing. SS needs to be in therapy and he needs to know that you two are not going to give up on him.

Stay strong.

praying's picture

Submitted by praying on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 6:27pm

I don't know if I can stick it out. My Dh will definitely keep going. But I don't think I am emotionally strong enough for this Sad

praying's picture

Submitted by praying on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 6:28pm

I cried at home thinking of how Ss had to go through what he did. I agree, listenin to it was hard. I an't imagine actually going through it.

Yes they went to jail. Bad news is Bm can get out by the time Ss is 26. The bastard won't get out for a long long time.

texstep's picture

Submitted by texstep on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 6:33pm

I can't imagine what details could be worse than what you've described in your former blogs already praying. I am so sorry for your Ss for having to go through this, and you guys for dealing with the aftermath.

praying's picture

Submitted by praying on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 6:37pm

Hi texstep. Believe me, I have kept a lot of things out. They are just unimaginable horrors. And poor Ss went through them as a child Sad

texstep's picture

Submitted by texstep on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 6:43pm

That is awful. Your is one of few stories from here I have shared with DH, because he was abused by his Step-dad as a child (nothing sexual, and nothing anywhere near what your dealing with). It has confirmed with him that he will ALWAYS as our SS3 questions, and investigate anything that might seem 'off', since we are also long distance.

I wish you guys luck, and prayers. Its such a long road. At least the guilty parties are in jail....

praying's picture

Submitted by praying on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 7:11pm

My Dh has broke down in tears in our bedroom many times. It is very sad seeing a grown man cry because he fees so bad about his son. He loves Ss so much but Ss won't see it.

praying's picture

Submitted by praying on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 7:12pm

I wish I was strong. But as the weeks go by I get more and more stressed and unable to deal with this. Maybe I will try one more time.

misscinna's picture

Submitted by misscinna on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 6:57pm

Ive been following your blogs but I mustve missed something. What happened? I cant figure out why hes mad at you and what happened that was in court. Im really confused. If you dont want to answer I wont be offended or if you want to PM with the blog that explains what im missing so you dont have to rewrite everything thats ok too. Sorry for whatever it is youre going through!

texstep's picture

Submitted by texstep on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 7:04pm

** Correct me if I'm wrong Praying**

I believe SS is angry that DH and Praying are "invading" his therapy; so he decided to give them the gruesome details of his abuse.
Court stuff is referring to when SS13's BM and Stepfather were being charged with abusing SS13; Praying heard some of what happened to SS, but not all the details....

praying's picture

Submitted by praying on Thu, 03/01/2012 - 8:51pm

Thanks Karli. I cried reading your post. I really hope you are right. And I hope we find some peace too.

PrincessFiona's picture

Submitted by PrincessFiona on Fri, 03/02/2012 - 1:53pm

I have to agree with everything Karli said. Stay strong for him. He is just waiting for you and his dad to bail on him and prove that he is unworthy of anyone loving him. I'm sure things will be way worse before they can ever get better. Just think how much it helps to vent and share your stress here with others, that is what you are giving him by sharing his therapy. You are sharing the emotional load he carries, and it's too much for him.

I wish you so much strength! You are doing good by him, he just needs to be able to trust that.

ctnmom's picture

Submitted by ctnmom on Fri, 03/02/2012 - 9:10am

Praying, I saw a woman on Phil Donahue (I know, I'm dating myself Smile ), she was a soap opera actress, she endured unimaginable abuse from her mother as a child. Her mother would sexually abused her until she vomited. Beyond belief. What helped her is reading holocaust survivor stories- I know on the surface it seems like it would'nt be a good idea, but for the level of abuse she (and your poor SS) endured that's who she identified with. And it comforted her to know they went on to live productive lives, with families and careers. Your SS might be too raw for that right now , but just a thought. And the Holocaust survivors, of course have/had amazing coping skills that SS could take comfort in. Sad sad stuff. Hang in there- God bless you.

praying's picture

Submitted by praying on Fri, 03/02/2012 - 9:23pm

I feel like that would really backfire on us. I think Ss should want to do that by himelf. Anything we sugggest similar to that will probably make him think we are minimizing his struggles. Thanks for the blessings.

asheeha's picture

Submitted by asheeha on Fri, 03/02/2012 - 10:53am

Praying,

You are going through something truly unimaginable to me. I pray for strength and peace for you. I pray that when the chaos and pain around you is so great that you hear the whisper of God say in your soul, "Peace...be still and know that I am God."

hugs

praying's picture

Submitted by praying on Fri, 03/02/2012 - 9:21pm

Believe me, my Dh would killed the bastard if the cops didnt get to him first. It makes our blood boil just thinking about him. I wish I could stay strong but it is very difficult Sad