Got to Vent..and he wonders why I act differently when the step kids are over....grrr
Ok...so when the step kids are over I try to stay out of their way...DISENGAGE as much as possible. I am not mean and if they talk to me I talk to them, This really makes my husband furious. I think, he thinks, I should like throw a party every time his children grace us with thier presence.... :sick: !!
Well, the step kids have not been over the house in a few weeks and my husband hasnt mentioned them to me and being a nice person and trying to make conversation, I asked how they were both doing? I normally do this..because that is what you do.
You would have thought my husband had seen a ghost. It was like he avioded the question. All he said was fine...why do you ask? I said, just asking havent seen them in a while. It is like he didnt want to tell me something? It pisses me off really. he and his daugther text all the freaking time so I know he knows how she is doing and can give me more than a fine why do you ask???.
THen he freaking wonders why I act like I do. He wants me there when it is convienent! I am tired if being used. grrrr
ok i feel better, but ohh I wonder sometimes what my life would be like with out step! ha
- tryingtomakeit's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
ditto everything you said,
ditto everything you said, except i NEVER get a few week stretch w/out seeing their ugly faces and hearing their snot nosed nasally voices....
Oh my, this sounds like
Oh my, this sounds like exactly what happens at my house. After years of getting beaten down, by BMs complaining about things I did or didn't do, said or didn't say, skids complaining about the same, DH TELLING me when skids are coming and nothing more, everything else is apparently top secret and only between he and skids and BM.. I disengaged. I refuse to given them a reason to disrespect me any more. So same as you, I say hi to them, answer any questions they might ask of me and I'm on my merry way.. I have a life.
Well now that's not good enough, now skids don't want to come because they think I don't like them. WTF? I can't win! The last time DH told me they were coming, I said "Oh, Ok" and continued on to what I was doing. He says "Why don't you like my kids?" I said "What????" He said that when he tells me they are coming I just get a blank type look. WTF?? I said I do exactly what I would do if he said one of his friends was coming over...."Oh, Ok" WTF???? I said "What do you want me to do? Dance a jig of happiness, jump up and down and scream for joy?"
I am so sick to death of every move I make or don't make, every so called look on my face, everything thing I say or don't say when it comes to skids being critiqued. And then DH wonders why I have disengaged... UGH!
Meh! "Why do you act
Meh! "Why do you act differently when my kids are over?"
Answer: "Because BIODAD acts differently when skids are over" (as biodad tip toes around his fragile egg-shell like children who sense raw meat and are going in for the kill--divide and conquer)
YES YES YES "Because BIODAD
YES YES YES
"Because BIODAD acts differently when skids are over"
Give it time. . .he'll start
Give it time. . .he'll start hiding things about the skids b/c he'll gradually drop the "one big happy family" model. As the blinders gradually come off and he realizes EVEN AFTER telling YOU to "try harder b/c you're the adult here" that HIS kids simply will NOT give you the time of day--then the hiding stuff commences; especially if your DH is not the timid type**
**not the timid type defined as freely able to tell SM where to get off but becoming ball-less at the site of the golden uterus.
I remember that stage very
I remember that stage very vividly. "I'm gonna do this and that!" Never happened. NONE of it. The only time he took a bit of action was when he caught me last year emailing a fellow STalker about StepHELL. That so enraged him that he thought "I'll show HER that my kids aren't POSs" and he set up a counseling session with his oldest that went NOWHERE. No contact for a year other than a scripted xmas "gimme gimme gimme" card. And his daughter, VD13 stood him up THREE TIMES and never saw him. Hasn't seen the younger two in over three years (sad for him; blessing for me)
So now the only one to blame it seems (because lord knows you can't blame the BM for PASing them out, the skids for BUYING into the PAS and CERTAINLY not himself for his inaction) is ME aka SM.
jerk husband is timid..yeah..
jerk husband is timid..yeah.. deliberately hid about sd walking pneumonia and didnt switch weekends even if we have a 4 mos old baby.i was in outraged! yeah.. I call this stepshit of hell. not exactly what he had promised..
My SO asked me the other day,
My SO asked me the other day, why I don't like him being a father? Well, because I didn't fall in love with your 'fathering qualities'...I fell in love with you when you weren't with your kids, since I didn't have any exposure to them for the first year that we dated. And then it took 2 years after that for my ever to stay over when you had them EVERY weekend. And it's not that I don't like him being a father, but like many of you said...when the kids are over...he changes...I don't know maybe that is who HE really is.
Wow, almost exactly the same
Wow, almost exactly the same thing happened to me last night. We had a nice dinner out, were chit chatting after we got home, he brought up something related to SD18, so I asked how she's doing. He looked like a deer in headlights and blurted out "Fine, why?" Jeeze, don't shoot me for trying to make polite conversation.
Don't you ever have a strong
Don't you ever have a strong compulsion to just give an honest answer when they say "you don't like my kids" and say "No i really don't".
I don't dislike my SS. He's kind of sweet - but he is pathetic. Lots of alcohol and drug problems. He was homeless although he has a place now. He will probably lose the job he has now like he always does because of his drinking.
I was honest with DH and told him that everytime I looked at SS I thought about how he and warthog could not keep their fucking hands off of each other. SS24 was born a decade after their divorce with no dating, seeing each other involvement because one afternoon they just had to fuck each other with NO birth control at all.
haha I Love this!! Yep this
haha I Love this!! Yep this is the only place we can say what we think in our head!