Planning a Bday party for SD..............
So I have been trying to get SD to finally commit to what she wants to do for her birthday. It is coming up in a couple of weeks. Last week I told her to let me know so I can plan if she didn't let me know then we would do nothing. She is a typical kid she has these big ideas of her bday bash but no idea how to make it happen. So we talk about things and come up with a plan. She wants to have a party at the Skating rink. No big deal I call and get details and its about 15.00 per child with a minimum of 10 kids. So she starts off rattling all these names off of people I don't know or have never even heard her mention before. So I said it's your birthday so why don't you just stick with your close friends that you want to spend time with. I get the look of death and she gets all pissy. SO said the same thing he also added that she wasn't going to invite people just to invite them. This would be for her friends the people she talks to and hangs out with which is about 4 total including her.
So then she says I want sissy (SD21), cousin so and so (all related to BM),all of sissy's friends and my mom. So now we are at about 20 people. Sorry not gonna happen I am not going to shell out 15.00 a person for adults to attend a teen party at a skating rink. SO put the brakes on that really fast he said this is a party that Newstep and I are having for you. You are going to your mom's house one day early so she can celebrate your birthday with you. If you want those people to celebrate with you invite them to your mom's. Commence whinning and pouting and WWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! from SD.
I never had joint parties with my ex-husband. We always did our own thing with the kids when we had them. Do any of you do joint parties?
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Noooo. That falls in the same
Noooo. That falls in the same category as "holidays" to me. There is no need for joint birthday parties or joint holiday celebrations. If SD is going to her mom's one day early just for the birthday, she can have her own party w/SD and cousin so and so, etc. I wouldnt have a joint party w/BM that YOU would be paying for.
Normally we do not do joint
Normally we do not do joint parties for my skids (all adults now). WE invited BM to come to OSS graduation from high school dinner at our house and we invited her to our SD college graduation dinner at a restuarant. She showed for both. BM has always told the kids she wanted us to all be able to do stuff together, but DH and I have thought that was weird. She has invited me to come over to their house and go out to dinner with them, but didn't invite DH. I did NOT go. Sorry I got long winded. I think that it should be separate.
Yup, totally agree. Joint
Yup, totally agree. Joint parties are completely unnecessary. If she wants all these people at her skating party she needs to bring it up with BM. Maybe you should spin it so it sounds like a good thing. "But SD, don't you see how lucky you are? Most kids only get one birthday party and you get 2!" Of course that just points out how spoiled she is, but I think between gloating and whining, gloating is the lesser of two evils.
Good I thought maybe I was
Good I thought maybe I was just feeding off my dislike for BM. The whole joint party thing is just wierd to me. SO put the kabosh on that with SD he said that BM has her time and he has his time and things are done seperately now. She pouted and whined but seemed to understand.
Wow that is terrible!! I
Wow that is terrible!! I would have been so mad if my SO paid for 1/2 of a party for BM and her family. I am glad he is the one who told her no about having her BM at the party. It would be awkward and drama fueled I am sure. BM can't ever do anything normal she has to create drama where ever she goes. No matter what and I want no part of it!!
We've done them. BM's family
We've done them. BM's family is very nice, BM has her moments, but it's all put aside for the kids. If we do parties together, we do one for the both of them at this point-their birthdays are a month apart. Plus if we work with BM on it, she uses her illegitimately-gotten foodstamps to pay for the food.
DH does not do joint parties
DH does not do joint parties with his exwife.
When SD26 graduated high school, BM asked if he would pay half the costs of a party she wanted to have for SD. He said no thank you, and asked why she thought he would pay to be around her and her family. LOL!