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Thanks for letting me vent ahead of time....

jojo68's picture

Submitted by jojo68 on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 10:53am

All weekend long and Thursday night SD11 and her little posse of friends have been at the house. When she has company over..they totally take over the house...they are in the living room instead of her room. They make terrible messes that they don't clean...they are destructive...loud (normal conversation is an almost yell). They use the bathroom that is DH and My bathroom...we have no privacy (every five minutes when DH and I go to our room to watch TV because it is occupied in the living room, SD11 is knocking at the door with some kind of demand for her father)...they eat constantly or I should say they get food..make a mess and don't even eat what they made. It is really awful..I have gotten to point where I hate the weekends. This a very regular occurance with all the kids coming over and spending all weekend with us...Honestly it has an upside, when her friends are around she is not rolling all over DH begging him to take her somewhere and doesn't whine and cry as much or just talk for the sake of hearing herself or to get complete attention.

I sometimes wonder if this kid is ever be more mature than a 5 year old, I seriously believe that she will act the same way she does now at the age of 16...still riding in grocery carts, laying all over DH, sucking a pop bottle like it is a bottle for an infant, still using baby dishes to eat out of and still saying "nadddddddddddddddddyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

I would seriously not accept my child to act that way. I would be embarrassed and ashamed if my child was this way...Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Comments

wicked witch 32's picture

Submitted by wicked witch 32 on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 11:06am

NO you are not wrong for feeling that way. I would tell SD she has company over and they make a mess or anytime she makes a mess she needs to clean it up. She is old enough to clean up after her self. My DH was like that with his kids when I 1st came around and still does it now and they are 14 and 15 always just cleaning up or picking up after them. I don't do it and if he is not home I make them come back and take care of it. I am not their Parent and they will keep my house clean. But you might want to start talking to DH about the way she is acting like I little kid. I had to tell my SD that sticking her boobs out while talking to Dad is not going to get you anything. Told DH she needs to quite doing that it is inappropriate.

Sometimes they don't "see" the same things as we do. That is a big deal when it comes to our DH and their BD, we see what the girls do and dad just sees them as his baby girl.

jojo68's picture

Submitted by jojo68 on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 11:46am

Her father cleans up after them when he is home...which I think is absolutely ridiculous. This girl is almost 12 years old...she can clean up after herself. When she has friends over is wrong to take over out home. My son has a friend over and I never see (or hear) them except if they go outside or eat at mealtime. I had daughters too and it was the same deal except they liked to make cookies which was fine because I told them to clean up afterwards and they did. I actually enjoyed my daughter's friends when they came over.

Newstep's picture

Submitted by Newstep on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 11:47am

I worry about that too. My SD is going to be 13 in a couple of weeks but acts like she is 5 then tries to act like an adult. She was raised with adult status so she thinks she has an equal say so in our household. Then she needs her food cut up or the shower turned on for her. She yo-yo's from child to adult it is so frustrating.

jojo68's picture

Submitted by jojo68 on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 11:58am

SD11 doesn't really try to act grown up..but it is annoying when she has to butt into adult conversations and even opens our mail..she is so overbearing and possessive. So frustrating.

wicked witch 32's picture

Submitted by wicked witch 32 on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 12:04pm

To both of ya, I know it is hard and I have tired my different ways myself, but unless DH makes them do it on their own or stops babying them they will keep doing it. My BD8 is still babied by her dad and it drives me crazy I just keep working with her during the week and tell her she is getting too big for this or that. I just had to take a different way of getting it done, and that is talking to DH about his kids. It is by no means perfect in my house and I had to disengage from my sept kids, but I still just tell/talk to DH in hopes it will get better some day. Smile Hang in there and don't let the kids come in between you and DH.

jojo68's picture

Submitted by jojo68 on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 12:23pm

TY..it is encouraging to hear from others who understand...helps to know that it isn't just me. SD11 is babied terribly by her Grandmother and by her father and doesn't see her mother very much, so it is very difficult indeed. You are very right in that it is DH who is going to have to make the changes or they will never come.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Mon, 01/02/2012 - 1:09pm

THIS is why I don't have a tv in the livingroom. I don't want to be bothered by people when I'm trying to sleep. We have an entertainment area in the basement for that and I can't hear a thing from there.

SD16 has her cousin over. Everytime they get together they play in the bathroom doing really weird stuff with their make up and hair and they stay in there for hours. They even go in with each other when one of them has to pee. Its so weird.

This time I told them to play in her room not the bathroom.

Yes, SO still cleans up after SD. I leave all messes and I don't touch them. The spoiled brat even asks why we don't have a maid so she didn't have to clean her room. Yeah, if I had a cleaning person they wouldn't be cleaning her room.