Just need to express my feelings
It's Christmas, and I want to disengage from DH. After reading many posts here, it's dawning on me that while I am frustrated with skids' behavior, I am more disheartened by DH's attitude toward them.
Whenever I express my thoughts on them taking advantage of him, I am viewed as being against them and he doesn't see a problem. I see that he takes that as criticizing his parenting, or lack of. He doesn't see things as I do, (I "force" him to do things he doesn't want to do, like hold them accountable, not give them so much...) so I will try to keep my opinions to myself. Let it be whatever it will be. It's hard to keep quiet, as I believe that I should speak up when I have a point of view. I am not against his kids, I just want what is best for DH, and his kids & grandkids too. I've known his family all my life, so of course I care!
Disengaging from his kids is also creating a wall between us but I don't know what else to do. I don't have close friends that are stepmoms, so I don't have many understanding ears.
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Comments
Run like your ass is on
Run like your ass is on fire!
Sad but true, if he doesn't want to see the problem, he won't!
Oh no, he doesn't want to see
Oh no, he doesn't want to see a problem, that's for sure. If he would see a problem, that would mean he is a bad father. Honestly, BM has taught them well in Entitlement 101. Good news is that he sees SOME of the problem with SD, but there's nothing that can be done. yea, right. His kids are adults, well, they are over 21 anyway.
Thanks Dragonfly!
I agree with Dragonfly! I
I agree with Dragonfly! I told my DH that I resented SS because of how BM treats him (DH) and how the SS thinks he's entitled to everything (cause that's how BM acts, the world revolves around her). So now DH and I are separated, which hurts like hell, but I'm beginning to really not care because he just won't see that I'm not the only problem in this marriage.
Seems like a lot of heartache
Seems like a lot of heartache and disengaging this Christmas. Hoping we can all find some peace & love!
Two years later & sadly I
Two years later & sadly I still feel the same.
I've been really down lately and have been reading through some discussions here (as I do when I get frustrated) because I know I will get inspiration and good advice on here. I found this post I made two years ago and I'm just so angry at myself that things aren't any better. What is wrong with me? I've tried to discuss with DH what I am feeling, thinking, concerned with... yet things are basically still the same. Sometimes I feel that things are changing and getting better, and he is seeing my point of view. Then I realize that I'm too optimistic. I've talked to so many friends that tell me to hang in there, he does love you, don't give up... if he only put that much effort into making things better.
Oh, I get the "I DO love you, you ARE the most important thing to me, I want us to be happy" speech. It just feels like words. He isn't willing to actually take responsibility for that. Deep down I believe that his main goal is to make life easy for his precious 28 YO son (not necessarily his other two children), and only wants to have sex and have a housekeeper. He doesn't listen to my concerns or needs. The only thing he wants to change is having more sex. I've talked, written letters, until I am blue in the face. He still doesn't understand what the problem is, why I'm so distant. UGH. He just doesn't want to see it. Doesn't want to take responsibility.
So his going against me, broken promises, doing as he wishes continues. I have to look out for me and not be stuck in this same sucky place. Focus on my life and what I need. I AM tired of it.
Thanks for listening
I just need a place to vent.