Older Stepkids Threatening to "Move Out."

SD, who lives off of us, occasionally says things like, "I'm going to move out."

We're not sure what this means. I feel like she may just be saying it to get a reaction out of SO. He's supposed to say, "No, SD! Don't move out! Continue to grace us with your divine presence!"

SD is of age and can legally move, but has NO IDEA how to take care of herself. She literally thinks money grows on trees. BM is her personal ATM machine and cleans up all of the messes SD creates.

Do any of you have experience with this? Did your Skid(s) "threaten" to move out and never do it? Or did they move out soon after talking about it?

TryingSoHard's blog
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OMG LOL if my SD at an older

OMG LOL if my SD at an older age said I'm moving out i would help her pack and buy her all the stuff she needed...SD 16 is so attached to dad i dont ever see that happening!!!! God help me!!!

Well, I don't know if she's so much attached to us as attached to living an expense free lifestyle. But I hope she goes soon. It's a different world without her here. No screaming, no whining, no begging for money, no stealing, no games, no lying...

My SS19 has made several of

My SS19 has made several of these threats. When he was 17 and living with BM, he threatened to leave as soon as he turned 18. Well, instead BM kicked him out several days after his 18th bday so he came to live with me and DH for a while. He was with us for no more than 4 months before he threatened to save up enough money to get a place with 3 or 4 other roommates. That never panned out but he did leave and move in with his GF21 about a year ago. She lives with her Dad and SM. SS and GF live in the basement, don't pay rent, don't clean up after themselves, eat all of SM's food and drink all of dad's beer. I see the continued mess on FB - GF's SM complaining about ungrateful, entitled kids, GF threatening to move out every couple of weeks, Dad protecting his princess, and SS just along for the ride now.

One thing that we did when SS started making these threats - we started making it more difficult for him to stay, which made it easier for him to decide to leave. We gave him less space (started taking back over the basement), quit helping him out with gas and other extras, and asked him to contribute more to the household. The minute he left, we had another family member move in so now we can honestly say "Sorry SS but we just don't have any room for you right now."

That's good advice about

That's good advice about making it less comfortable for her. We've already started doing that, in a way.

SD will only eat something if it is already prepared for her. So, we only buy fresh vegetables and pasta and raw meats for the freezer. No more microwave pizzas; she'd take these before and cook them in the oven and then only eat one piece, leaving the rest, uncovered, in the refrigerator. No more granola bars or ice cream. She'll eat it all in one sitting and leave the packaging on the counter. No more mac and cheese. No more canned soup.

When she first moved in, I didn't mind moving her laundry from the washer to the dryer. Now I have a separate laundry basket for her for when she sneaks her dirty clothes into our hamper (in hopes that we'll "accidentally" wash them). I just throw her dirty clothes there so she can wash them... some day. When she runs completely out of clothes, she steals mine and SO's from the dirty laundry pile. When we confiscate them back, SD gets BM to buy her new clothes. BM buys her new clothes about once a week. Why do laundry when you can just get new clothes... for free!

We have yet to ask her to pay rent. I do think it's a good idea. The only glitch I could see with that is that SD has no way to make money. She gets a weekly (sometimes more often) allowance from BM. So really, it would be BM paying her rent to us. Not that I have a problem with that, but it wouldn't make SD any more accountable.

Tell her the same thing you

Tell her the same thing you would tell her if she were your own kid... don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

If she lives in your house and parks her feet under your kitchen table she obeys the house rules. If she doesn't like it let her learn what the real world is about.

My oldest daughter did this to me 3 days before Christmas. She knew that would hit me hard. She actually packed her stuff in the middle of the night and left.

I wouldn't let her come back for 3 months AND she had to pretty much grovel. She learned the hard way and she NEVER did that again.

I admit it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I wouldn't even let her come home on Christmas day when she called to come home. I called her bluff.

You are absolutely right.

You are absolutely right. She never says this to me, only to SO. So I'm going to tell him to respond this way:

SD: "Fine. I'm moving out anyway."

SO: "Really? When?"

Maybe it would be best to just take her seriously when she makes that threat. "Well, SD, you said you were going to move out. You need to keep your word."