Just catching up...
I haven’t posted in awhile…things have been going along as normal. Between my school, the Skids school & other simple life stuff, I’ve been pretty busy.
SD8 was a shit & threw major attitude at me at one of MY family gatherings in addition to making an ass out of herself at her birthday party...this all resulted in a HUGE battle between her & I...luckily, SO backed me & made it clear that she is NOT the queen bee in OUR home. SS9 has been a multi-colored fruit loop (I assign colors to varied degrees of unacceptable behavior, so multi-colored is NOT good)…although he’s getting less conduct marks at school because his teacher moved him to a table full of girls so that he no longer has an excuse for talking to the other boys. Basically, life is just…normal.
With Christmas coming up, I thought I’d share with you that SO (after 3 years) has FINALLY agreed to have two trees (YAY!!!) My tree is beautiful and traditional & all of BM Nasty’s family tradition crap has been moved to the Skids playroom. No more Spongebob, Dora, Spiderman or Scooby for THIS SM’s tree! Huge victory there.
The Skids BM, Nasty broke up with her FH a couple of months ago. She then showed a little interest in the Skids for about 3 weekends in a row…that interest has now waned to her usual amount of ZERO. She hasn’t called, skyped or texted the Skids in awhile now. Although she did send a pic of the new Disney princess, Sofia the First for SD8 to SO’s phone…even though the new princess is aimed at TODDLERS & she knows the Skids phone can get pics…ah well, what can ya do.
I got our cards out for Christmas. I send photo albums of the Skids to their maternal family (ggrands, grands & aunt) for Christmas every year & have the Skids write out Christmas cards for their BM & other relatives & put school pics in them. SO was irked by SD8’s message to Nasty which read “Dear mom, have a merry Christmas. When can we skype next? Please respond.” He thinks that Nasty will think that he put SD up to said note…I said “no, you told her to write whatever she wanted, & she did…let Nasty think what she will…does it really matter?” This is truly the first time EVER that SD has actually acted like she WANTED to talk/skype with Nasty. She still hasn’t asked to text or call though, so I guess she doesn’t want to talk to her THAT badly.
School is now out for two full weeks…SD seems to be pulling her head out of her butt while SS is seemingly in the process of simply losing his head somewhere…it’s going to be a GREAT two weeks!
Please keep my patience level in your thoughts.
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Comments
Why can't SD try and SKYPE
Why can't SD try and SKYPE her if she wants to? She obviously wants to you can encourage her cause she mmight not know she's allowed to communicate too. Teach her it's a two way street.
We have ALWAYS told SD & SS
We have ALWAYS told SD & SS (who are 8 & 9 btw) that they can call, text or Skype with Nasty anytime they so chose, they have never, ever asked to. Not once.
If you have read my past blogs, which I'm guessing you have not, you would know that Nasty lies to them as regularly as she has contact with them. She tells them one thing & proceeds to do another..."mommy will skype with her babies at xx time"...Skids try to call & text to get her online & there is zero response.
I refuse to put responsibility for their relationship onto the shoulders of an 8 year old. You may be fine with doing that to a child, but I feel that it is crappy. She is the CHILD. It's not her fault that she has a POS for a mother, but that's the way it is.
Their comes a point in
Their comes a point in childhood where you learn the world does not revolve around you.
LOL Wow Alice, aren't you
LOL Wow Alice, aren't you just a peach!
Trust me, SD8 has her mother's personality trait of thinking the world revolves around her...she is reminded often that this is not the case...while it is part of her genetics, she now knows full well that the world does not revolve around her...
I will certainly pass your "suggestion" on to my FDH (her father) about putting responsibility onto his 8 year old daughter's shoulders to maintain the relationship with the same woman who told him "I don't want to be a mother anymore"...I'm sure he'll take that swimmingly. Again, read my blog before you attempt to pass judgment.
At the end of the day, the children both know they can call/skype/text whenever their hearts desire (if the bitch can be bothered to pick up). However, they seem to want to feel loved (I know, shocker right??) and wanted (IMAGINE THAT!!) by their mother...nothing wrong with a child asking her mother when they can Skype (remember, the Skids have agreed to times/dates only to be let down (AGAIN) by their mom).
*Sigh*
The kid wrote what she wrote,
The kid wrote what she wrote, I simply asked why she doesn't SKYPE her and you got all huffy. No judgment.
“Their comes a point in
“Their comes a point in childhood where you learn the world does not revolve around you“ and “Teach her it's a two way street”
Again, I can tell you have read ZERO of my past blogs or you would know that getting Nasty on Skype is easier said than done, unless she's bored…think whatever you wish oh “perfect mother”.
Congrats on winning the dual
Congrats on winning the dual Christmas tree battle. I suggested an adult tree and kids tree this year - an idea that was immediately shot down by DH...so I put up the adult tree (no kids tree) and sat by while DH threw a temper tantrum. How did you get DH to agree? I don't want to have this argument every Christmas, and I don't want the tree in the common area in my home looking like the ghost of arts & crafts past threw up on it.
Oh Sunflower, it took 3 years
Oh Sunflower, it took 3 years to get to where we are today with the tree situation. I made it perfectly clear that the jumbled mess that was their decorations was actually stressful for me. The gorgeous traditional style that I adore is calming. After many arguments about it, he finally agreed to separate trees after Nasty & her mother decided they were sending the SKids even more ornaments this year (see my blog http://steptalk.org/node/52794).
My main point was that there are MANY people that I know that have TWO trees...one in the living room & one in the game room (or where ever)...this makes it possible for the kids to have their tree that THEY get to decorate with all forms of hideousness (SPONGEBOB???). Why should I, as an SM have less say about decorations in my own home? That was what got me. That & it was stuff I'd NEVER put up & it was Nasty's family tradition, NOT mine.
SO is attached to a few of his ornaments & LOVES to crazy people decorate for Christmas...my compromise with him is that the tree is now decorated with red & blue so that he can keep his USMC ornaments & a collection of dragons...so I have a traditional tree with a few of my SO's on there so he's still "spoken for".
He wanted to get the SKids their own little trees for the ONE ornament that Nasty & her mother are sending...I didn't figure that made sense & talked him into ONE tree that fits all of the craziness...
It's been a long time coming...I admit...I pouted & refused to "enjoy" the holiday...I was a big fat lipped brat. I never take that course of action, but it certainly seemed to work.
Wow...when I was a kid my
Wow...when I was a kid my parents decided what would go on the tree and we were allowed to help them. My aunt had a very specific way of decorating her tree every year, no kids stuff on it, and it was beautiful and I would spend hours in her living room just looking at it.
I love the adult tree and kids tree idea! That is so cool. That way they can do what they want to it and it's all theirs. And the adult tree is tasteful and grown up. Perfect solution!
I'm sorry the BM is such a POS. It's obvious from your skid's behavior that it's having a negative impact on them. What worse, they miss her and BM just doesn't care. What a great mother she is (heavy sarcasm here), having someone set up face to face time via skype to speak to her kids, but not wanting to be bothered. That would drive me nuts too.
Why is it you have to get a license to get a dog, but anyone can have a baby?? The BM in your life obviously doesn't give a crap about her kids, unless it's convenient for her.