Dear DH...
Dear DH,
You are no longer single. We are married. We live together. We share a life together. I know that before we lived together and were married your visitation with your children was dictated at a moment's notice by whatever BM wanted. I, however, do not wish to live by BM's rules. I like to know when and if there are going to be 5 people in my home vs. 2 people. I also like to know what our Christmas plans are so that there are no surprises and I can prepare for said holiday. I came up with a nice and fair schedule for you, I am wrapping all of their gifts, I even planned when we will celebrate Christmas with them.
So when we decide that it would be best to have the steps between this day and that day during the holiday break because I like having a plan, I expect you to contact that woman you put your penis in and make it happen. I don't expect you to dilly dally because you are afraid to speak to her and I don't expect you to go through your kids to schedule it. Man up, already. You sure as hell weren't afraid to talk to her when you were boning her, so the least you could do is pick up the damn phone and lock down our holiday plans!
Love,
Your pregnant, impatient, and over it wife.
P.S. If you do not make plans by end of day, I will email her myself. Because we both know how well-received her reaction will be. }:)
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I would love to say this to
I would love to say this to my DH. The thing with my DH is BM doesnt have a copy of the current court order. DH has custody. When BM wants to know if and when she has SD for visits she asks my SD. In the current order it does not state that BM gets any holidays with SD in the odd years. But to be fair he was going to give BM reasonable visits anyway. Instead of texting the dumb bitch and telling her to either get a court order or to ask HIM, to make sure when the visits are, he tells SD when she will see her mom and then her mom just asks her..It drives me nuts. It also drives me nuts that WHEN BM decideds to ask DH he says, "You have her if you want her." instead of "You CAN have her if you want her." I told him that by making her think she is SUPPOSE to have SD,instead of her knowing he is just doing her a favor, he is just setting himself up for a bunch of drama. I mean yeah he wants to be nice now but what happens if SD doesnt want to go to her moms or her mom wants to be a bitch and so he decides to not let SD go. BM will say,"Well I got her such and such last year why dont I get her this year.." And then of course the whole drama will open up a whole other can of beans and Im sorry but I just dont want the shit around my house anymore.. Your DH and mine need to step it up and get shit done
I would love to have a plan,
I would love to have a plan, too. Is it so difficult to find out when they are coming and (more importantly) when they are leaving, and stick to that schedule?? Seriously, I want to know the days and times! I would like to be able to plan a dinner, plan a visit with MY children (who can't stand to be around YOUR children), plan visits with friends.
My point exactly. When I
My point exactly. When I asked him about it this weekend, I guess he just assumed we would get them this weekend like a regular every other weekend visit and so I said "well when are we doing Christmas with them??" He was like "um, Saturday?". As in 3 days from now. I had to inform him that:
#1 We are SO not even close to being done with Christmas shopping for them. And gifts that were ordered online won't even get here till next week.
#2 Someone (me) has to wrap all the gifts still.
#3 You don't just HAVE Christmas in my home. Christmas is a freaking event dude. With cookies and hot chocolate and dinner. You don't just open presents and Christmas is over! That just reinforces the idea that Christmas is all about gifts!
He is supposed to have them every other holiday, but like I said, before me he just went along with whatever BM wanted so their schedule is all jacked up. My suggestion was that we pick them up this weekend and keep them till Christmas Eve morning and just pretend that Christmas Eve morning is Christmas day. He seemed to like that idea but here we are. Scheduled to pick them up Friday night (which is the same night as my Christmas party) and no plan. Men!
BF finally called BM to
BF finally called BM to finalize the plans for Christmas. She has copies of the paperwork but she never knows where its at :? We drop SD off to her at 8pm on Christmas Eve then its all us for the next week. We have a special evening planned on Christmas Eve because this will be the first time SD won't see her dad on Christmas Day. Hope it all goes well. BM's big idea is to let SD decide where she wants to be and when she would like to be picked up because its all about her and her best interests :jawdrop: Way to be a parent BM. Let a 12 year old decide the schedule all at her whim and the parents just run around and do it :?
I tried doing this last night
I tried doing this last night and asked him to just send a quick text. He said "I don't feel like dealing with her." Um hello! All I'm asking is for you to send a text message to get the ball rolling. You don't even have to hear her voice! So I'm done playing these games. If he doesn't want to deal with her then he will have to deal with my hormonal rage.
What is up with that?
What is up with that? Everytime a holiday or "special event" rolls around, I have to nag and nag and nag DH to hash out the details with BM. We were thinking of going out of town for a couple of days right after Christmas, but the caveat is that I had to ask for time off. Kept asking DH if he'd talked to BM about it with the same answer "not yet."
Finally I said, "I'm not taking time off. I'm not going to look like a dork to my boss asking for days between Chistmas and New Years on Dec 22nd." It got him fired up enough to check.
This may be comparing apples to oranges, but discussions like the above take FOREVER for him to get around to. But lemme tell you, if he decides he wants to go somewhere, everyone has EXACTLY 37 SECONDS to get ready and get in the car to go.
Doesn't make sense.