I have to side with Echo...and personally I would prefer
the upfront and honest person..

Ok if you have the relationship with BM where you can say "hey could
you please have them bring sneakers here next time" and BM say ok..
and does not run to Daddy..then ok..

But it is clear that you don't have that type of relationship with her...
So I would have to say...back off...and let Daddy handle the crap...

It is really his crap anyway...especially if BM can not communicate with just you
on even the little stuff...

Good Luck...I too felt like a babysitter...but those days are over..
Now Daddy and BM have to find someone else cause Step Momma has moved on up!!

My hubby agrees with me too.. (Long Story..but all is good in Step Land)

You know I really find it funny that you all can say "BM is not your problem, you shouldn't be the one communicating with her, its not your job, right, responsibility to talk to, voice, express your feelings to BM, DH should be the one doing everything when it comes to BM and SKids, ect ect ect." Since fucking when??!! We all come on here to complain about BM how she treats us, talks about us, lies about us, makes us her babysitter, causes problems, turns SKids against us, blah, blah, blah. BM is our problem. We have every damn right to say "can u bring SKids shit we bought them next time." I don't post on here to hear that crap. I don't care how you feel I shouldn't be involved with BM. If you choose to put all the responsibility of BM and SKids on your DH and not be involved in that huge part of his life, then that is your choice. I am involved in every aspect of my DH's life esp the huge part about dealing with his ex and his children. I take care of his kids as if they were my own. I will voice whatever I want to BM when it is affecting my life, my home, my husband and our kids. Idc if SKids are not my biological kids. I am still one of their parents. If the law says that if my DH passed away then I could get visitation rights because I was a parent and a significant part of this child's life, then how can any of you or BM try and say I am not supposed to be involved in my SKids life?? Being this kids parent means dealing with his other parents. If BM wants me to be a babysitter and take care of her kid when its conveniant for her then she needs to expect that I'm going to voice myself about the concerns I have just like a parent. But nooo BM is only ok with me watching her kid, taking care of them, feeding them, doing homework with them, ect but I better keep my mouth shut and stay out of any decision making. That's bs. I cannot believe you all seem to think we need to let these BM's run our DH's and for us to stay out of it. If you all choose to live your lives like that, then fine. It's your life. But I will not keep my mouth shut, I will handle BM if I want, if I get tired of her blowing up my DH I will answer the phone (idc how much it pisses her off) I will show up to any function for SS I want, I will call her out on her lies and pos ways, I will be apart of decisions for SS and I will do whatever else I want to because get this IT'S MY LIFE, IT'S MY DH, IT'S HIS KIDS, IT'S MY HOME, IT'S MY TIME, MY SCHEDULE, MY GAS, MY FEELINGS AND IDC WHAT BM OR ANYONE ELSE SAYS ABOUT IT. MY DH UNDERSTANDS AND AGREES ENOUGH THAT HE TOLD BM SHE'S GOING TO DEAL WITH ME AT TIMES AND SHE BETTER RESPECT ME BC THIS IS MY AND HIS LIFE AND HE DOESN'T CARE WHAT SHE WANTS OR HOW SHE FEELS.