You are here

Research Question?

LauraKR's picture

Does anyone out there know the statistics for failed father/daughter relationships after divorce?
I feel sure there must have been some research done on this or similar subjects, just can't find anything.
The more i read on this site the more i realise i am far from alone with these stepchildren issues, which i must say is a comfort.

Comments

momof3vt's picture

I think a better question would be, out of the failed father/daughter relationships from divorce, how many were from the BF sudden inattention vs how many were from the BM brainwashing the children? This is a second marriage for my DH and I, and we each have a daughter from our first marriages. I fully support my daughter's relationship with her BF. While we have a set schedule, we are both very flexible putting our daughter's needs first. We are even able to celebrate her birthday together and both houses recently vacationed together. My DH ex on the other hand, is extremely manipulative and will find all kinds of ways to keep my SD from our house even though my DH and she have 50/50 custody. Even when my SD wants to be with us, her mother guilts her into choosing to stay with her instead.

LauraKR's picture

Good point momof3vt.
Difficult to prove the mother has had any influence (in our case i mean) although i don't doubt she has had.
May be more to do with their father suddenly becoming distracted with a new woman (me!)
I think a lot of our problems stem from their jealousy of me in the first instance. They saw me as a threat and were determined to split us up right at the start. I have worked out that they controlled both their parents and were allowed to continue to call the shots even after they divorced. It began to change when he met me and i started to open his eyes to what they were doing.His daughters say i changed him and that he was never the same after he met me and i cannot argue with that accusation. I changed him from a blind doormat into a a man who was intolerant of disrespect and needless drama.
I have no relationship with them at all (my choice) but i worry about the future for him and his daughters. He says he will only continue to make an effort with them if they behave like normal adults but i don't want heartache for him, he's a good man and he's given them everything including his time (bit too much maybe)

Hopingforthebest's picture

I havent seen any research though I really do believe that it depends greatly on BM's opinion of DH and if she is supportive of their relationship.

princessandthepee's picture

By failed relationship, what do you mean? Let's narrow the research question, it will help you find resources.

LauraKR's picture

Basically, i'm trying to find out if the situation my husband and i are in is an unusual one.
I have no relationship with his adult daughters - my choice, long story.
Its the relationship he has, and will have in the future with them that we are interested in.
At the moment its superficial and infrequent.
At the moment they have stopped making demands and the tantrums and recriminations have also stopped.
These 2 are 22 & 24 - adults, not children.
Does this help to clarify?
Kx

LauraKR's picture

I have just read back my reply to you and i find it doesn't clarify it at all!
Will need to think this one through and respond later, sorry.
Kx